Restart to You
by clexaislife2014
Summary: My people were gone and I was one of the last. I killed Ontari and took the flame in hopes that I would see her one last time before my soul left this plane. Then I was given a gift and I found myself standing before her once more and this time I would protect her. I would kill all who dare threaten the one I loved with every part of my being. CLEXA AND TIME TRAVEL
1. Restart

Don't expect this one to be updated as often as my other two stories. This one is written down because I had the first chapter stuck in my head. It wasn't so bad but after like 4 hours I was going slightly crazy and by then I had a very clear picture how I wanted this chapter to happen that I could see it as it happened as though I was watching a movie.

I own nothing!

Chapter One

Many things had changed since the death of Lexa and none of them had been for the better. Ontari, the Ice Queens natblida, had taken over the coalition after brutally murdering all of the initiates, going as far to send Aden's head to me. This was the beginning of the end for the people of the Ark as Ontari sent the full might of the United clans at Arkadia. The army was numbered into the thousands as every clan seemed to have sent all of its warriors.

The day she sent the army was the day that almost 500 of our people died, the rest had gotten out when the death of Lexa had reached the compound. The group I led contained almost 400 people, much of the group filled with small children and teenagers. A large number of the grounder army had been taken down by our liberal use of our weapons and the ridiculous amount of explosives that Raven had made. The army was pushed back long enough that large numbers of our people were able to escape. Many joined my group but more joined Pike's army he had made. They had taken most of the weapons and ammo.

Pike managed to escape with his people as well and I was never entirely sure the total he had managed to save before the compound became overrun. The first month much of my group was lost and by the time we were able to take out the parties that had been following us like sheep to slaughter only about 150 people were left. Thankfully the desert came in handy and we were able to lose the army. This did not do my group any better but it was better than being butchered. We managed to make it out of the desert well enough but our supplies were almost completely gone once we returned to the forests.

The first year was not good for any Arker that was found as Ontari had changed the kill order to capture. Many were tortured to death especially those that had been caught fighting back. This was how Kane had been killed, sacrificing himself giving the group of children he had been bringing to the hidden network of caves that had been found, time to get away. My mother was devastated with his death and began to work on projects that would help the group. Her and Monty were able to make different poisons from the plants, giving our weapons the advantage we needed.

At this time, we had the flame that had been given to me by Titus in hopes that I would be able to give it to Luna. I had found her, but she was disappointing and was too much of a coward to become Heda, even her own people did not like her. I was happy to know that she was later dethroned. She was banished from her people and that was when some of the guards in my group found her and brought her before me. As terrible as it sounds my mother took Luna's blood and began to experiment with it. Her thought process was that if one of us was given the black blood then we could take the flame as ours and Ontari would lose the tenuous control she had taken for herself. The ambassadors and generals all assumed she had taken the flame but I and a few others knew better.

My mom was eventually able to get the formula correct but I was captured and tortured before they finally found the Flame hidden in the cave they had captured me in and took the piece back to Ontari. I would have died in my cell that was located outside of the remains of Ton DC but Octavia and Indra rescued me. Indra was poisoned by an arrow that struck her from an Azgeda archer. She later died and after her death, Trikru was destroyed and absorbed by the surrounding clans. Her death and the end of the Trikru destroyed another part of me, knowing that that was the clan that Lexa had come from and her dream of peace was thoroughly destroyed.

When I was returned my mother had been experimenting with the blood and had discovered anyone who had the black blood had increased healing, something due to increasing growth of skin cells and that the white blood cells that were also produced were more effective in fighting off infections than white blood cells found in those with red blood. She only had enough to create two doses of the serum, one was given to me and the other was given to Octavia because she had become my second in command. This allowed me to heal faster after what I had gone through. I was not mentally stable after that for a long time, often I would become overly violent and have flashbacks to my time in the cell. I would usually attack those around me when it happened but after help from those around me, I was able to get better but only had the occasional incident.

Octavia was killed by Echo but had done enough damage that Echo had died as well. I was so devastated that I had ended up killing all of Echo's company, keeping one alive to send Echo's head to Ontari. Echo had been promoted to Ontari's top general after the destruction of Arkadia due to the fact she had found the air duct that allowed warriors to sneak into the walls. This was the first time that I was proud to have been called Wanheda, 'The Commander of Death.' I had taken Octavia's sword from her dead body and grabbed the one that Echo used. These became my weapons for the next few years, wanting something that Octavia had taken great care of and Echo's because I did not want to forget the lesson I had learned.

This had been well into the second year of the war between the rebels that were the 13th clan. By this time Pike's group had been completely wiped out and that had included Bellamy as well. I felt no remorse over his death because he was one of the reasons that any of this had happened to begin with. With the downfall of his faction, the only ones left from Skaikru were now random stragglers and those still left in my group.

This was when I finally accepted that for me to be a true leader I could no longer have any distractions and that was unfortunately what Octavia had become. The death of Lincoln had been just as hard as the loss of Lexa had been for me. We were able to comfort one another, and she was one of the only people left besides my mother, Monty, and Raven that was left alive at the time that I truly knew. The remaining people in my care had just been random people from the Ark, only a few had become decent warriors that went on missions with Octavia and me.

The third year had passed just as quickly but unfortunately, my mother and Monty had both been killed. My mother had been publicly executed by Ontari herself as she gave her Death of 1000 cuts. I hid in the crowd, my hair dyed brown from shoe polish and much of my skin covered in black and white war paint. I could not interfere but watched the entire thing, beginning to end, as I tried to keep myself from charging the stage and slitting Ontari's throat. My mother lasted long into the process before she released her first scream. When she Ontari had turned toward the crowd with Lexa's bloody knife raised overhead as she released her own war cry. The anger I had felt had never been greater than at that moment and I knew that one day soon I would steal that dagger from her and use it to cut off her disgusting head.

My mother suffered for the entire day before she finally died, her eyes somehow finding mine before she closed them for the last time. I quickly left after that killing the guards that surrounded the front gate before leaving quietly into the woods, making the day and a half journey back to where the camp was hidden. I had come back to my group to find that a large contingent of Azgeda warriors had been scouting the woods after reports of my fighters being spotted and had found the group.

The group of warriors had been killed quickly but Monty and Harper had both died from their wounds, along with some of the children and two adults bringing the groups number down to 16 including Raven. Harper had been stabbed in the back as she had thrown herself over a small child that was about to stabbed through by a spear. Monty had been shot by an arrow in his upper thigh that had nicked his femoral artery and he quickly bled out.

My group left the area after that traveling slightly east towards the coast and found another series of underground caves that was close to Mount Whether. I had been able to salvage supplies including thick pieces of metal that we used to jam and trap into the rocks only leaving one entrance into the cave that also had thick wooden doors that had a metal bar that latched into place. When the door was closed, the stone wall looked like just that, only with a bunch of very thick ivy covering half of the wall.

The third-year quickly ended and the fourth began. Raven was able to dig into parts of the rock creating small secret rooms that were just big enough to hide the children that had survived this long. I and the rest of the adults left would hide them and then try and fight off whoever had broken into the underground cave system. The system worked out well and when the end of the fourth year was arriving all the secret rooms had finally been completed just in time as well.

Our small group had been doing very well and was slightly thriving, of course only those of age left the cave system and went foraging for food when everything went to shit. I should have known that we should have moved a lot sooner than we had but with only 4 of the 10 adults who could actually fight with swords. The others mainly only knew how to work a bow and arrow and would go out as hunters, Always with someone who fights though and never by themselves.

Well Wallace was the only one who knew how to do both but even he was subject to the two people per hunt rule, but he didn't listen. He left by himself and was captured and wasn't strong-willed enough to not tell the warriors everything. These warriors then quickly sent word to Ontari who was still somehow Heda but there was no longer a coalition. Azgeda was the main power and if you didn't bow before that nation then whatever clan you were part of was destroyed. The boat people were the first to fall, followed by the desert, and then finally the riders of the planes. After the destruction of those three clans, no one else was brave enough to go against Azgeda.

Ontari knew how many adults we had and the saving grace was that Wallace had not told them anything about the 6 children who were all under the age of 10. The youngest being 4 years old and the oldest being 10. The adults were quick to place each of the children in the hiding spaces before the non-fighters grabbing the only remaining guns we had that had been scavenged from the debris in Arkadia. The thick wooden doors keeping the caves closed off were quickly broken down.

What was thrown in was something I never thought they would use, a grenade. It brought forth the question of where in the world had they found one. Was it found and taken from Pike's group or even from the remains of Arkadia? I was lucky to have even found the things that I had in the debris as the entire place had been set on fire and almost all of the structure had burned down. The grenade exploded taking out the four who were in front with the m-16s. I could hear as more of the metal doors that were in place be knocked down. I was almost tempted to stay and force my way forward till I heard the screams of small children.

"YOUR IN-CHARGE NOW BRYCE!" I screamed after throwing one of my knives into the neck of a warrior that had just entered the cave. He shouted his affirmative before he began to fire at the grounders trying to enter the cave. Thankfully the small entrance kept them coming in at a manageable level so far. I tore the blades off my back before I turned and ran down the tunnel system.

An explosion sounded from ahead of me and smoke rushed down the tunnel. It had come from the same direction as the scream. I finally entered the room ignoring how the smoke burned my throat and eyes. The room was in pieces with blood covering most of the walls. The crying of a small child cut through the room. I rushed forward sheathing my swords before moving a body to the side and tried to push past the ache in my heart at the sight of Raven. I knew she was already gone as most of her back was shredded and she wasn't breathing. The small room hidden behind the chest had been torn out and was opened after causing the explosion. Only Raven would set up a bomb in one of the chests. It looked as though she grabbed the child before the chest had been opened.

Bright green watery eyes latched onto mine and I finally realized that this was the smallest child the 4-year-old Aurora. She had blonde hair like mine and anytime I looked into her eyes it was like looking into Lexa's from how similar the colors were. I had never spent a lot of time with her but knew that she was usually one of the happier children as she had no idea the dangers that lay outside the cave. She jumped from her spot on the floor and threw herself at me. I was quick to catch her small body bringing her close to my chest and then realized this was the closest anyone has gotten to me since Octavia died. My arms tightened before I stood back up and started running down the halls once more, making it my room. The only place that had an available safe room for the child.

The sound of boots was catching up to me and when I slammed the door to my room closed I had heard the mocking voice of Ontari telling me that I should accept my death. I set the small child down and grabbed my chair wedging it under the door handle. Just in time to because as soon as I had a large bang sounded through the door. The young child began to cry once more.

I turned to my dresser that I had dragged through the forest because I was stubborn and didn't want to have my clothes just tossed randomly around the room. I pushed it out of the way revealing a small space that Raven had somehow set up to have a spring attached to the dresser that when pressed moved the dresser. It was ingenious and I was happy she had done it because I knew that I was not living through this.

I picked the child up before placing her in the small hole.

"Listen Aurora. No matter what you hear do not come out. Only come out when you no longer hear noise for a very long time. A very long time. Do you understand little one?" The small child quickly nodded her head as more tears poured down her face. I felt my own eyes water as I stared deep into her green eyes.

I pushed the dresser back over the hole and heard the click letting me know that the spring lever was engaged. Sighing heavily, I rolled my shoulders a couple of times before taking my swords off my back. My knuckles were white from how hard I was holding onto the swords. There was not a lot of space in my room but thankfully all the furniture was all against the walls leaving the middle of the room open.

The door finally fell, the chair sent in my direction. I looked up and met the cold brown eyes of Ontari.

"I see we meet again. You don't deserve to wear that pauldron or have the flame you _ripa!_ " I spit at her.

For some reason, she has no guards behind her and it is just her in front of me. My smile turns feral. She made a mistake and has grown too confident in her time as Commander. I haven't been sitting on my ass for four years. I have become dangerous and have taken out warriors twice her size easily, one even with one of my daggers.

Ontari pulled the sword from the sheath around her waist. My eyes narrowed in anger at that weapon, it was also Lexa's sword but she had taken the smooth edges of the blade and serrated them. Her eyes almost seemed to glow with the satisfaction at my anger. "Do you like my weapon? I know it has been sometime since we have seen each other but surely you recognize this blade. I hope you know that I have killed many of your people with this sword. Their screams were pitiful just like the screams of your bitch mother."

A red haze clouded my vision, as I charged her bringing my left sword high and my right low. Ontari easily caught my left and jumped back narrowly missing my right and at the same time as she jumped used my forward motion against me pushing my left sword down throwing me off balance.

I easily rebalanced and blocked her attack. I threw my right knee forward and managed to hit her in the stomach forcing her back. I pushed forward slashing quickly with my left and right sword causing her to pay attention to my swords before I brought my leg up and kicked her hard in the chest, throwing her hard into my dresser. I was pleased to hear her pained moan as her back hit the hard wood.

I rushed forward stabbing with both swords. She managed to block one, only for the other to dig deep into her left shoulder. She released a hiss of pain, her eyes seemed to almost glow in their anger. I twisted the sword in the wound before releasing the grip and quickly grabbing the knife on my thigh and stabbing her quickly in the stomach.

She released a scream of pain, before finding a hidden strength and forcing me back from her. I lost the grip on my knife the push strong enough for me to lose my footing and fall the floor. I rolled to bring myself back up only to have a sword slash across my chest, my hard leather armor keeping the sword from making it a killing blow. I ground my teeth and swung my right arm out, only to have my sword knocked from my hand.

Ontari harshly kicked my knee out and hearing the snap and the pain that followed knew my knee was now broken. I didn't scream but I did release a loud moan of pain. She was standing in front of me now with a wicked grin on face.

"It seems like you are finally where you belong, on your knees before me," her voice while trying to remain smooth, cracked with the sound of her pain. Her left was holding the dagger in keeping herself from bleeding out. She raised her sword and slowly pushed it into my shoulder but hers sadly did much more damage. My right arm that had clenched in a fist soon lost feeling and I finally looked down and could only watch as black blood poured down my arm.

I slipped my left arm slowly behind as she continued to slowly push the sword further through my arm, leaning her body increasingly closer to me. When she was close enough that I could feel the heat from her breath, my left arm shot out with one of my throwing knives clenched in my first and I lodged it firmly in her throat. She reared back, her sword still tightly in her grasp as she ripped it out of my shoulder. This causing me to let out a scream as the pain was to much as one moment.

The clatter of her sword on the ground caused my eyes to shoot up and actually the look of terror on her face and blood began to gurgle out of her mouth and seep past her fingers. She finally fell to the ground and stared blankly at the wall, her eyes losing any sign of life in them.

I watched her for a minute before realizing that I had done it. I had avenged my people, I finally had my blood but I was going to die. I knew that I was already to injured and that when she had ripped her sword out of my arm looking at it now it was easy to see that my arm was only halfway hanging on. The pain was like fire in veins and made it hard to breath past it. I was satisfied that she was dead now but angry that she was taking me with her.

Green eyes flashed through my mind and I knew the last thing I wanted to do before I died was to try to flame and maybe I could torment Ontari and spend the afterlife with Lexa for the rest of days. Using my left arm I dragged myself to her body and rolled it onto her belly. The infinity symbol was easy to see and the scar let me know where I needed to cut. I reached behind me and grabbed one of my last throwing knives and cut across the old scar.

The flame slowly pushed itself out of the cut on her neck and I grabbed it. I set it gently on the stone floor before picking the knife up once more reaching behind my neck and slowly cut, trying to be careful not to cut too deep.

The knife dropped to floor and then I was able to hear the sounds of boots stomping towards my room. I quickly pick up the flame and place at the entrance of my wound, ignoring how weird it feels to have the feelers dig its way through my neck before righting itself.

I lost control of my body as it seemed to try and right everything wrong with me. My body then felt like it was lit on fire. I started screaming as I clawed at the back of my neck.

This wasn't supposed to happen. My blood was black now! It should have accepted it, then I heard a voice but it wasn't Lexa's or Ontari's. It was a woman's but I have never heard her before, it was warm and kind but it was still not the one voice I longed for.

 **Calm yourself. All will be well.**

'Please all I want is Lexa!'

It was hard to think past the pain in my body. I wanted it out but it seemed like it was to late, cracking my eyes open I was able to see that Ontari's warriors had finally arrived. My vision began to blur and finally I closed me eyes.

 **You will fix everything.**

That was last thing I heard before I was sucked into the void.

Scenes from the past four and a half years began to flash past my eyes. I watched as my fight with Ontari seemed to happen from her eyes and I could hear a voice screaming in her head trying to distract her. It continued to go backwards. I was able to watch as all my choices I made either helped my group or hurt its members.

I watched my mother die once more, as each new cut appeared on her skin, and then her eyes catching mine. The death and then the slaughter of those who killed Octavia. I watched everything again. The hardest thing to revisit was the death of Lexa. To watch as everything I tried to do, did nothing to help her. I felt the coolness of our last kiss as I tried, truly tried to let her know how I felt before she passed. My body ached from the pain of her loss of the woman who I loved to my dying day, the woman I had never been able to tell that I loved her.

I watched as she left me once more on the mountain but this time it did not sting or hurt because she was right. She had made that decision with her head and not her heart. I could now clearly see how her eyes were pained and desperate for me to understand. I did and I know that while I did not accept it then I would have chosen my people over hers. I would have taken the deal if I had been offered it.

Then our first kiss, I could feel her soft lips as they pressed against mine. The smell of forest was strong as well as the leather from her armor. Time skipped back once more and then I was standing in front of her for the first time.

I gasped as time finally stopped and was standing in front of Lexa as she sat on her throne. She was nervous and I could only tell because she was fiddling with her dagger, something she had told me she only does when nervous but it has the added benefit of looking intimidating when she does it due to her beautiful dagger.

"So you are the one who burned 300 of my warriors alive," with her last words she finally looked up and my blue eyes met her green. I could die was my first thought. I had finally seen her one last time.

I waited for time to stop and for me to truly die but I didn't. She continued to stare at me and I could see the anger growing at me silence but I was to stunned to speak. I wanted to cry and I could feel the tears forming as I tried to control myself. I could feel all the love I had for her rushing back and hitting me like a freight train. All of my love that I crammed into this small box and placed on a dark shelf in the back of my mind burst free. My chest ached with the need to touch her again, my ears strained to hear her voice again.

Her stabbing her knife into the wood of her throne forced me to the present once more. "Do you have an answer for me, Clarke, of the Sky People?"

 _"Ai hodness,"_ slipped past my lips before I could catch myself. She jolted in her throne and her eyes showed how confused she was.

The fire was burning in her eyes as I continued to stare at her in awe. I shook my head and try to ignore everything that I was feeling. Then I realized that if this was what I thought was happening was real then everyone was alive. Everyone and that included my mom. My mother who I make sure wouldn't be murdered in front of hundreds of people. I wouldn't let Kane sacrifice himself and Octavia would still have Lincoln the man she never stopped loving.

Tears were now rolling down my face and I couldn't breathe. I tried to suck in air but nothing was working and then my blood was on fire and I fell to the floor. I began to claw at my chest because the burning seemed to be coming from my heart before I realized that what was happening was the black blood returning. I began clawing my chest and neck ignoring how voices were shouting over me.

Something warm was running out of my nose and running down my face. I could feel the same thing happening to my eyes and my ears.

 _"Natblida!"_ someone shouted.

My world was going in and out of focus, making everything hard to focus. When I looked up when someone grabbed my face I met green eyes that were filled with concern and confusion. My body still convulsed but I was able to bring my hand up and cup her cheek. She didn't move but continued to stare in deep concern. I was able to see that she was speaking but I could not hear her words. Then I was able to take one breath but it wasn't enough and I was dragged into the black.


	2. Long into an Abyss

Chapter two because I figured I couldn't leave you with just one chapter and I am more than halfway done with When the Fog Was Listed new chapter. Leave comments or even check out my other stories. The Shift has Clarke as a shifter lol. When the Fog Was Listed is a Lexa and OC. If you don't like that don't read it. I don't like people who leave shitty comments and I will respond.

 **ALIE ARK DIDN'T HAPPEN! THE ONLY CHIP IS BECA!**

I do not own anything.

* * *

Chapter Two

I woke to find myself laying on my back and going off how still it felt then it certainly was not a bed. Probably earth but with something over it from how the cold was not seeping into my back. I kept my breathing even and slow as I tried to figure out what was happening. Then someone spoke.

"We should just kill her," the voice was gruff and I knew it was Gustus. It was weird to hear his voice after so many years. Someone shifted closer to me and the sound of a blade being drawn almost made me open my eyes. God, I wish this was a dream because if it was, Lexa and I could be getting freaky but I would probably just cry if I was being entirely honest. I was certainly overjoyed that is seemed I was in the past now or at least I think I am. That voice hinted at it.

"Hod op," Lexa told him. "She is still a natblida. I want to see what she says when she wakes. You heard her last words. I want to know why she said such things," her voice was calm, and I could hear how curious she was.

I picked up my breathing and then rolled onto my stomach, releasing a groan before I slowly pushed myself up. My head felt slightly pained and throbbed when I fully stood.

"I feel like I got hit by a pauna," I mumble as I hold my head before dropping my hands and finally staring at Lexa, who is now seated once more in her throne but is leaning forward.

"Sorry about that. Not sure what that was. This has been a really weird day for me."

"How so?" she asks.

"You would not believe me if I told you. I actually came here to speak with you about an offer I have," talking in my most authoritative voice.

"What made you think this was a negotiation?"

"Because that is what this is. I have something you need, and I would not be here otherwise."

 _"Let me kill her and get this over with,"_ Indra spoke up. I had forgotten how much of a cold-hearted bitch she was in the beginning at least she eventually calms down because I sure as shit would not have been able to deal with that.

I couldn't stop the snort. I hadn't been spoken to like this is a long time, by the time the second year started I was feared and even if I fought against other enemy warriors I was still spoken to with respect. It certainly was a different experience and while a small part of me liked it I was mostly in the feeling of annoyance.

There was a flash of fire in Lexa's eyes that slipped through her mask before she controlled her face once more.

"I can help you beat the Mountain Men."

"Go on," and she back to fiddling with her knife. My eyes instantly followed the movement and it was only because I had finally placed everything behind my walls that I was able to keep myself from grinning at the sight.

"Hundreds of your people are trapped inside cages and their blood is used to keep the Mountain Men alive due to your ability to fight off the radiation. 48 of my people are also trapped in the mountain and they will soon use their bone marrow to allow them to leave their prison. Even better I know of a way to cure the reapers," my smile at those last words was predatory.

"How do you know this?"

"Easy. I was a prisoner there and saw what they were doing," my voice was prideful and I puffed my chest out slightly.

"Lies. No one escapes the mountain."

"I did. With Anya. We fought our way out together."

"More lies. Anya died in the fire. You killed her."

I finally lost the tight control I had. "Lying is for thieves and cowards! Which I am neither! Watch your words!" I was screaming at the end and red was taking over my vision. I tried to control my breathing and clenched my fists. Then remembered that I had Anya's braid in my pocket, slowly reaching into my pocket and held it in my hand.

I opened my eyes to look down at the dirty blonde locks and all my anger quickly dissolved. The roar of the blood pumping in my ears disappeared and I was able to hear as Lexa told Indra to be quiet and watch her tongue.

"She told me you were her second. I am honored to be in the same room as someone who was taught by her. She was a mighty warrior and fought fiercely. I am truly sorry for her death. She died well," every fiber of my being wishing I had been sent back one day sooner. If I had, Lexa would not have had to go through the pain of losing her first.

I looked up from the braided hair in my hand into Lexa's eyes. Her mask was cracking, and it was easy to tell from the pain that seemed to almost swim in her eyes. My chest tightened, and I wanted so badly to close the distance and wrap her in my arms.

I slowly crept closer keeping my hand out and passed it to her. My fingers barely touching hers but a pleasant thrum swept through my body. I looked into her eyes once more.

"I am truly sorry Commander," I whisper before I slowly back away, stopping where I was originally standing.

"You are correct. She was my mentor before I was called to lead my people," her eyes stared into mine for a second before looking back down at the hair. She lightly ran her fingers across as though if she pressed down any harder the hair would break. She finally put the hair down on her armrest.

"I won't lie this meeting has been interesting so far. I and others had no idea that the Sky People even had night bloods. While this is certainly new information to me. I am still waiting for an offer," it was easy to see that she was trying to piece everything together.

"The Mountain Men are turning your people in Reapers. I can turn them back," I said waiting for Indra lose her shit.

"Impossible!"

" _Commander, I beg you let me kill her,"_ Indra spoke harshly and part of me just wanted to wait till she was close before slamming my face into hers but I knew that that would never end well.

My lip curled up into a sneer hearing those words, the pain of my final moments flashing through my mind. Of how my arm burned from Ontari's sword and that I could no longer move my hand. Feeling my chest burn from her slash as blood ran down my chest and the throbbing pain of my knee, as each pump of my heart sent another shock wave of pain to it.

"I've done it with Lincoln," I growl out and watch as Indra stomps her way over, acting like a petulant child.

"That traitor is the reason my village was slaughtered by your people," by the end she was once again standing in front of me. My fingers twitched with the need to force her away as she was to close in my personal space, something that I had not allowed in many years.

"EN PLENI!" Lexa finally shouted.

Indra released a loud huff of air before walking away to the middle of the tent, an equal distance away from Lexa and I.

Lexa stood and walked over to me, close enough that I could smell her. God did that make me sound weird but in all my years I had never found someone who smelled as she did. She gave off the smell of the forest of all the dirt, leaves, and bark that surrounded everything. Instantly I relaxed, and I barely stopped myself from crying but felt the tears swell in my eyes slightly. I knew she was close enough to see it because confusion flashed across her face before returning to the hard look she had before.

"You say you can turn Reapers back into men?" Her eyes seemed to be searching my face, looking for any sign of deception.

"Yes."

"Prove it. Bring me to Lincoln. Then you shall explain yourself. Everything."

"Sha, Heda," I automatically responded not able to catch myself. Her eyes widened in surprise before narrowing in suspicion.

I take a step back and then realized I passed out. My mother might not have hit him with the shock baton if Lexa wasn't there. If he dies we all die, I might be able to escape with no harm but they would not. I was not a great enough fighter to kill and fight off Lexa, Gustus, and Indra. I don't even know if I would even be able to fight Lexa.

"How long was I passed out for? It could not have been long. You left me on the floor," Lexa's head tilted at the end from my accusatory tone.

"You did not pass out long. Only long enough for someone to clean all the blood off of your face."

My hand instantly felt my face and slightly relieved that there was no blood because I had forgotten about that before passing out.

"We need to hurry then. We are heading to the dropship," I tell her before quickly walking out of the tent, not waiting long enough for them to exit. I can hear the snarling of words from Indra but ignore trying to think about the consequences of this not working. I would have been sent back for nothing. A warm soothing feeling spread through my body making me pause at it seemed to pass through, leaving behind a pleasant warmth. All the aches and pains I had felt after waking up had disappeared as well.

We walked for a long time as I tried to get them all to move faster but anytime I tried to speed them up Lexa would smirk at me and walk slightly slower. It was driving me up the wall and making me nervous because last time barely a minute or two before we arrived, my mother had stopped compressions.

The woods were no different than I remember them from before I had been sent back. I had just been running through them not too long ago as I tried to get back to my camp to try and make it before Ontari's troops did. My teeth ground and my heart rate began to pick up at the thought and I could feel a flash of the left-over pain from my arm. I instantly grabbed it with a strong grip and dug my nails into the material of my jacket. Forcing myself to think of all the good that will come from me being sent back. The fact that Lexa was still here and was still alive was like a balm to my soul.

I had still to this day, never able to understand how I could have fallen in love with a woman I had only known for barely 6 months. Oh, and I did, even after almost 4 years, I had never stopped loving her. My dreams were filled with her touches and how they would send a pleasant humming through my body. In the chest that was at the end of my bed was a bound notebook that was filled to the brim with all my drawings of her because I had feared that one day I forget her. I did not forget anything about her though, even those final moments I could hear her sweet voice and see that smirk plastered on her face. She was one of the main reasons I wanted to flame, not for my people but for the chance that I could hear her voice, and to speak to her.

I looked over my shoulder and instantly my eyes locked to hers. Her green eyes that seemed to always burn brightly even when they were filled with a hidden grief. I can remember the first time I had locked my eyes on hers and had to stop myself from staring.

I was still so new to leading at that point, still so caught up in saving everyone. Part of me still wished I felt that way but sadly that day has long since passed. If I lost a person but was able to save 5 then I would accept the loss. The so-called betrayal at the mountain was something that I would instantly agree too but I also know that the instant that the mountain men had the bone marrow then all of the 12 clans would have had to worry about them being able to leave, the loss would have been astronomical, much of Trikru land would have been taken and anyone who tried to stop them would lose their lives.

Finally, we made it to the dropship and I didn't stop the hiss that escaped. I had forgotten how it had burned everything around the ship and all the bodies, especially how many bones were left. In the corner of my eye as I kept walking I was able to make out Lexa's devastated face.

I stopped at the entrance before turning back to the small group that was with Lexa. Her face was hard once more and was I could see the anger that was just beneath the surface.

I nodded my head toward the entrance. "This way."

I walked faster and quickly climbed up the ladder to make it into the top part of the ship. My heart was beating out of my chest at the thought that everyone that was in that room up there was dead in my time. I would finally see Octavia again the woman who had eased the burden of my losses. My mother who I had not seen since her death, her face pale and covered in sweat, and her entire body littered with cuts. It was still to this day a nightmare that I had and I would never be able to fall back asleep if I had it.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open and climbed through. Everything stopped as my eyes instantly focused on my mother. My entire body shook with the need to pull her into my arms. I knew I was crying already and I couldn't stop it. Everything was too much. Then my eyes shifted and I spotted Bellamy and I could finally move. Barely noticing how the others had climbed up after me.

"You lied. And you're out of time."

Her voice cleared the fog of memories and then I was moving. I grabbed the shock stick and shoved it into Lincolns chest. Releasing it after a couple of seconds and waited to see if it would kick start his heart. It didn't and I shocked him once more. This time he sucked in a greedy breath of air.

Octavia began to cry even harder when Lincoln whispered her name.

"Lying is for cowards and thieves Lexa and I am neither," I had pulled myself to my full height and my voice was hard. My face was flat, but I could see the surprise on each and every one of the grounders faces. I could even see the respect beginning to grow in Lexa's face and puffed my chest out slightly in pride.

I gave my mother a sharp nod and pulled her into a hug. My hands dug into her back and I crushed her body into mine while taking deep breaths in. She smelled of herbs and cleanliness and for the first time in a very long time I felt safe. My breath was ragged when I released it, hitching in multiple places. She rubbed my back automatically and I knew she was confused by my behavior as I had not acted like this since I was barely 5 years old.

"I love you mom," I quietly whispered into her ear before pulling back and squeezing her arms once before looking back at Lexa. She looked deeply confused and slightly standoffish but certainly more relaxed than she was when we had spoken earlier.

I finally backed away and brushed past Indra before stopping at the edge of the door and turned to Lexa who was standing a little to my left, close enough that I could reach out and touch her and my hand twitched slightly in its need to touch.

"We have much to discuss Commander," my voice still level as I was still in my leader mode as much as I wish I didn't have to be. Lexa just raised her eyebrow at me and then I dropped through the hole. I almost laughed at the startled look that crossed Lexa's face when she watched me drop and how her hands seemed to reach out slightly.

I absorbed the drop and bent my knees slightly when I landed and walked out of the ship to stand at the edge of the clearing peering into the woods that surrounded the ship. Something shifted to my left and I quickly looked to see what it was. It was a tall brown haired woman who I had never seen before. I looked back to the ship and the only people there were the two guards that Lexa had posted there beside them there was no movement.

I sprinted into the woods to follow the woman who continued to disappear and appear a couple feet away from where she was. I finally caught up with the woman and was close enough to get a clear visual of her.

She was wearing dark colored pants that hugged her legs, and a deep maroon shirt. She had a small smile on her face when I walked into the clearing. I was so confused when I walked closer and could see the trees slightly through her.

"What the hell?" slipped out before I could stop myself.

She smirked and released a small laugh. "You know who I am."

Her voice was very familiar before it finally clicked and my hand instantly touched the back of my neck but I was surprised when I couldn't feel the little chip or even a scar.

"I don't understand."

"Well at first neither did I. I mean, this blonde woman comes into the tent then it feels like I split between two different people. Have to admit confused the hell out of me before I realized what was happening. It made sense what I did a scan of your memories though. I knew I had the power to do such a thing but never knew that I would find the perfect candidate and that it would work. This is truly the first time the previous commander is not dead before a new one took over."

"Wait…give me a second to understand what you are telling me."

She just nodded her head but still had a smirk on her face.

"So let me get this straight. You are the flame," pointing a finger at her. She just nodded her head at me.

"What does this mean for Lexa? Do I have the flame and she doesn't or does she have the physical aspect of the flame?"

"I was waiting for an intelligent question from you."

"Well, that wasn't nice at all. What is going on by the way? I am happy to be back but this is almost too much. Does Lexa know what is going with me? Or is she in the dark about this?" By this point, I was pacing.

"To make a long explanation short. No, she does not know. She has the physical flame with her and the only reason you technically have it is that it implants into your brain and when removed leaves behind the implant. I am not explaining everything because I know for a fact it will make no sense to you. Lexa will not know and that is probably for the best considering her last moments were of being shot and she will never know unless you tell her," her voice was still kind, but the last words hurt. Then her face became hard and I felt the need to take a step back.

"Do you know I created the flame, Clarke?" her voice sent a chill down my spine.

"I created it to bring together the people that were left from my mistake. I did not create the flame for people like Ontari. She caused more death in her four-year reign than any other Commander. All of the work that Lexa and the previous Commander had done to bring about the Coalition was destroyed by that Monster that Nia created! DESTROYED! ALL OF IT!" Her brown eyes had gotten darker the angrier she had become and by the end of her talking they looked black.

"And you Clarke will fix this! That monster does not deserve the blood that she was gifted. People are coming but know this Clarke, you Will fix this and I will help you along the way if you need it but you will fix this because I sent you back for a reason. Save our people, Clarke."

The snapping of a tree limb in the direction I came in causes me to tense up before sprinting up into the closest tree, easily climbing up farther in silence. I stop about 20 feet high up in the tree on a branch that is covered by broad leaves, keeping me hidden and I lay in wait for who is coming.

I can hear from the sounds that it was more than one person and that no matter how quiet they are walking they are still loud enough for me to hear. I reached behind me to grab my knives only to find a pistol, then feeling stupid because of course I don't have the knives I keep there any longer.

Then the group passes, and I realize that I was overreacting because it is Lexa with Indra, Gustus, and the four guards she brought with her. Deciding that it is safe, I climb down about 5 feet before I let myself drop from the tree landing lightly on my feet but of course, I made enough noise for the group to hear me.

Everyone besides Lexa ripped their weapons out of their sheaths. Lexa just lifted an eyebrow at me and I didn't stop the grin on my face. Knowing that now I can relax and not worry too much about anyone figuring out what had happened, but I knew that I would try as hard I could to keep these people alive but certain people I would kill and would be entirely ok with their deaths.

"My bad," I tell them and raise my hands at eye level before chuckling and walking closer.

"What were you doing in the tree Clarke?" Lexa asked me.

"I thought you were someone else," I respond with a shrug of my shoulder.

"Well, it would explain why your footprints disappeared. I noticed that you came this way but your tracks seemed to disappear around here," she pointed to earth around her feet.

I stepped closer and could see what she was saying. While I may have been quiet they did give me away. I followed their path and fortunately, you could not tell which direction I was going because of how much I paced and the footprints to the tree I climbed in seemed to be covered by a bunch of old leaves but you could see that some of the leaves had been broken.

"At least you would not have been able to figure out quickly which direction I went. If you look the steps overlap and you can't tell I went into the tree," pointing out how the steps were extremely overlapped.

"It would not have taken me long to find you," she tells me with a smirk.

"But of course. You are Trikru and the Commander I would expect no less," my voice is calm and at the end, I send her a small wink and she only looks confused. Then I remember she has no idea what that even means, and I reframe from smacking myself in the face.

"You seem to know more than most of the Skaikru we have encountered. Why is that?" She asks as she almost jumps over the log in her path.

"Well I mean your tribe is literally called the tree people and we have been attacked more than once by someone who was In a tree. I mean no really looks up and wouldn't expect an attack from up high. Where was the next place you were going to look when you noticed my tracks disappeared?"

"Trees," Gustus grunted from behind me.

I pointed back at him with a wide grin. "See! My people are stupid that way. They wouldn't look in the trees, well maybe those who were in the original 100 would eventually look. What about the other clans? I am going to assume that they use their natural surroundings to their advantage."

They do and are very good at it. We only traveled to the north once and it was a disaster. It was already a difficult time as we had been caught and were being followed by a contingent of soldiers. We had finally lost them but it was hard because they would send out scouts who hid easily within the snow setting traps that would always kill or maim the person caught. The only thing that was easier was there was no real way to walk quietly on snow and if they tried to sneak up they could be easily heard.

Any warriors that were killed by my people would take their furs. They were warm and because they were mainly white it made it only slightly easier to blend in. I was too angry at the nation to ever wear their clothing or armor and barely tolerated Echo's sword, but I always made sure the people left never went cold and if I had to kill a few Azgeda soldiers to do it. Well, two birds with one stone.

"There are the Riders of the Plain. They excel at any combat on horseback. When they joined the coalition, I was gifted with one of their finest war horses and was even given a trainer to teach me the harder techniques that they use in combat. Then you have the Azgeda who normally wear armor that while dark, most of it is covered in white and they use the snow to their advantage. These are two prime examples and you know what the Trikru do. What about your people? You were in the sky," the last question was asked in honest interest, even Gustus and Indra seemed curious.

"To be totally honest nothing really. Ok let's stop here," they all stopped and watched me.

I looked around and then found the ridge I knew was there.

"See that ridge over there?"

"Sha," Gustus grunted out.

"Besides seeing the trees, if someone was hiding in those trees would you be able to see them?" Indra seemed to stare harder at the ridge. I was barely able to see through the thick foliage myself.

"Barely, if you knew that they were there" Indra muttered. She seemed very reluctant to even tell me that much.

"Those from Skaikru have a rifle that can hit you from that far away and have pinpoint accuracy. It is pretty much cheating. Honestly, I'd rather stab you in the face, so much more personal. More satisfying…oh so much more satisfying," vividly imaging stabbing Ontari in the throat.

"God, I miss my knives," I mutter rubbing the middle of my back, missing the familiar weight of them.

"You have knives?" Lexa asked.

And then I remember where I am and who I am with. All of them seemed extremely shocked that I had said any of that. For some reason, Gustus was smirking at me which immediately put me on edge. I just decided to roll with it because I had already said too much and might as well just continue showing how I really felt.

"I did. I had six of them. I lost them and my swords, which I will never get back. Though part of me doesn't want to them anymore because of how I got them, but I was good using them."

"Them?" Lexa asked.

"I had two swords, they were a lot more useful than my gun for sure," at this point I was already walking towards their camp as I was done answering questions.

"Who taught you?" Indra asked she sounded suspicious. And there we go a question I can in no way answer without giving away that she had taught me until I was captured and then Octavia until her death and by then I had become more dangerous than Octavia.

 **Your father.**

'Thank you.'

"My father taught me when he decided I was old enough."

"I would like to see what you could do. You would be an interesting opponent because of your size," Gustus spoke from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and his eyes met mine. I was surprised because the first time around he absolutely hated me and my people.

"Is it bad I assumed that you did not like me? And speaking of size Heda is the same size as me," and I pointed to Lexa who was walking next to me.

She didn't say anything, but she did look over at me for a second before looking away once more.

"You are a natblida Klark. It seems you are not completely worthless if what you say is true. I had made the assumption that you would rather use your gun and that you would be like the other Skaikru. I want to see if what you speak is true. Test your worth."

Why does that sound like the end for me? Lexa must have known the tone he used because she smirked.

"I would like to test your skill level as well," Indra sounded way too vindictive to me.

"If that is what you want, then we shall," and I would sure as shit take them down because I know that Lexa will want to watch. The need to impress Lexa was strong because I knew she would be curious, she would want to know what kind of fighter I was and if I was even worthy of being called a warrior.

Then we crested the hill and were finally back at the camp and we no longer continued speaking which I was ok with because I swear Indra and Gustus enjoyed my promise way more than they should. I know that my skills are up to par with them but I know if I lose then I would more than just my pride.

Lexa went into the tent first and walked over to the table that held the map of the area. She seemed pleased with how the day had turned out, which was a relief as everything while slightly different was still going the same way as it did in the past. A weight was lifted off my shoulders when I saw the smile on her face. I had forgotten how much I had missed it, an intense longing to kiss her filled my chest and I had to grip the table slightly to keep myself from walking over.

"Lincoln's recovery was…impressive. No one's ever survived such a fate before," she said before she walked to the opposite side of the table from me so that we were looking at each other. I was relieved that she spoke first because I was desperately trying to remember what I had forgotten. I knew I was missing something.

Nodding my head. "It was quite simple really. We have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave the system. I know we can do the same for others," and we would this time. Last time to my knowledge they never received treatment, and all died. _(A/N: I don't remember what happened to them after season 2 ended. I am assuming that they all died.)_

"You may have your truce," her voice was soft and she seemed very thoughtful, as though her next words would make or break the treaty. The feeling that I was forgetting something increased and made me slightly worried.

"Thank you," telling her as my back straightens and a feeling of pride swept through my body.

"I just need one thing in return."

"Tell me."

"Deliver me the one you call Finn. Our truce begins with his death."

And then I remember. I had forgotten about him and in fact, had not thought about him since...well I could not remember. No feelings of remorse or regret showed themselves and though I knew Raven would be upset with me I would still deliver him to Lexa. The alliance was more important than some murderous boy. Revulsion filled my body remembering how he had killed 18 innocent people thinking that the grounders had taken me. Then had seemed to just throw off his guilt when I had walked into the village.

"Fine you shall have him. Deliver your justice as you see fit."

She seemed almost relieved that I had agreed and the seriousness that she was showing disappeared as well.

"Now that that is out of the way. We need to discuss how you are a nightblood."

And there we go, I knew she had not forgotten but I was hoping that it would be put off to a later date.

 **Tell her what you wish. I will leave it up to you what you tell her.**

"How so?"

"Are there more people like you?"

"No. I am the only one of the Sky people."

"Why are you the only one?" her eyes narrowed as though she was figuring out a tough puzzle and honestly, she was.

"It was a gift, Lexa."

"From who Clarke?" her voice had become very suspicious.

"A woman and I don't know who," figuring that half-truths were better than anything else I could say because let's be honest if I said that my mother gave it to me to get rid of Ontari the woman who destroyed your coalition she would probably think I was crazy. It was too soon for her to know that and I know that my mental health was no longer…well, healthy.

"A woman? Can you give me any more than that?" it sounded like she was very close to pushing for more information.

"I have only seen her once. I need you to get something for me though."

"What do you need, Klark?" and she is using the hard K again. God, I loved when she said my name like that. She was one of the only people to pronounce it like that. Almost everyone else pronounced it normally, except Ontari. She found great joy pronouncing it like Lexa only to hurt me.

In this life, I would not make her death as easy it was before. I would make it long and painful. I did not care that she had done nothing in this life to me or my people. She would do it if she had the chance though and that is what mattered.

"I need weapons, as easy as it is to use a gun I want my knives and swords. Can you get them for me? What do I need to pay for them?" While she did not seem happy with the sudden subject change it seemed at least this was a welcome topic.

She walked over to her throne and sat down and seemed to think about it, leaning her head against her hand. Then her hand fell and she grinned. It seemed almost bloodthirsty. "You truly have nothing that at this moment you could trade unless you have different animal hides," she stopped and when I shook my head, she continued. "Well how about a little wager Klark. If you win against either Gustus or Indra I will give you all the weapons you ask for. I even have two swords you can have."

Well, that certainly explains her almost bloodthirsty smile. "I accept but if I defeat both I want armor as well," because why not. I had a feeling that the fight between Gustus and I was not going to be pretty. He was built for strength and I had never seen him fight so I had no idea what his fighting style was. Indra I had an idea of but was still nervous about that one.

"If you defeat both of them? If you defeat them both then you can fight me but I do not think you will win. I will have a better idea of what you need to learn though."

Fuck that was like winning the whole shebang going against Lexa. I remember her fight against Roan and I knew that she was deadly. Fighting against her would most likely be like the first fight I had with Indra, where she soundly beat me into the dirt.

"Sounds interesting. I'm down."

"Down?" she looked slightly confused at that.

I snorted, and her small smile faded to a glare. "Sorry. It's just I had forgotten that your people don't understand some of our slang. It means that I accept."

"I will remember."

It was then I noticed that the sun had finally gone down. "I need to leave. The sooner I return the sooner I get my weapons," I tell her with a smirk.

"Before you leave I must ask. I was told that you were close with this Finn. Why are suddenly ok with this? I admit I had not planned to ask but you are not what I had expected," she asked as she had finally taken her knife out once more and was fiddling with it.

I was not surprised she asked if this had been the first time I would have probably tried to argue and get her to let him go but not this time. I would not risk this alliance for him this time. I would not sneak him out of Arkadia and I would personally deliver him to her. I spent over 4 years protecting children and had almost died more than once risking my life to save a child's. Of course, as much as I did not like a man who murdered innocents the death of 1000 cuts, was never pretty and for intents and purposes was needlessly cruel.

"He killed innocents. If that was all it would have been as bad, but he had killed children. I can't look past that. I will deliver him to you personally, the only thing I need is a horse. I will give the horse back to you when I bring him back. Does this work for you?"

If she said no I was just going to give him to the men who would follow me on horseback.

"I see nothing wrong with letting you use one of my horses if you bring me, Finn."

"Thank you, Heda."

* * *

There we go chapter two now completed. I am so happy that people are enjoying this story. I have wanted to use this plotline for awhile but I was never able to get the other details right and kept putting it off.


	3. Spacewalker

**BTW fanfiction is being a dick. So this update was done from my phone. I am pissed because I have the final chapter for my other story done. I'm still waiting for a reply from ff about my problem. So at least it works from my phone but it would have been better from my computer because I have a thing that checks my grammar for me.**

I would like to give thanks once again to all those reading and enjoying this story. I am sorry for those who are waiting for The Shift to update, but I am on a role with this story and trying to wrap up my first story. That one the last chapter is only half down and it is already at 8,500 words so I have been bouncing back and forth. Once this chapter is complete then I will work on the next chapter for The Shift. Thank you again to everyone reading these, I can't begin to tell y'all how much it means to me, so keep commenting because they make my world go round.

Which would y'all prefer? Leksa or Leska? I kind of really like it pronounced Leska. I was reading a few of Jude81 stories and it was wrote as Leska and I actually really liking it. Let me know what you think and I will go off what y'all would prefer.

Character death!

I own absolutely nothing!

* * *

Chapter Three

Walking out of the tent was slightly difficult because I in no way wanted to leave her presence. Even being in the same room as her made my entire being relaxed and for what felt like the first time in a very long time I could breath. There was no longer this heavy weight on my chest and when I left the weight would come back but not as bad as before I was sent back.

Gustus was waiting for me at the entrance and seemed more relaxed once I finally left the tent with Lexa following close behind me. Once out I stopped and turned, waiting for her leave the tent as well. Her eyes almost seemed to glow from the fire of the torch, my mind instantly taking in every detail possible so that I could later draw her, considering I no longer had any of my drawings of her. My inner hoarder was in no way pleased that I lost the hundreds of drawings I had made.

"Gustus, take Clarke and give her a horse. She will personally be delivering the boy Finn to me," the look I was given promised death if he was not delivered.

"Sha, Heda," Gustus told her before looking at me expectantly and walking away.

Looking back at Lexa I soaked in her image of how her face looked darker and how the shadows played across her face from the fire, the way her war paint made her eyes glow. She turned her head slightly in confusion from my inspection.

"Reshop, Heda. I shall see you in a bit with the ripa," her eyes widened at my words before she nodded and strode back into her tent.

Turning I strode after Gustus who was standing at the beginning of the tents that were around Lexa's, waiting for me. His eyes were narrowed at me, as though he knew what I was thinking and doing. Once I caught up to him he began walking once more but made sure his steps were small enough for me that I wasn't running beside him, which I was extremely grateful for.

"I am curious Sky girl. What was living in the sky truly like?" He didn't look over but was watching me out of the corner of his eye. I of course was doing the same thing. It was easy to forget that he would soon poison himself to destroy the alliance with my people but the problem was is that I would do the same thing for Lexa as him if I deemed an alliance a threat to her life. I would do it to keep her safe and suffer the same consequences as him to keep her safe.

"Honestly wasn't expecting that question from you. Um, certain parts were nice. The stars were brighter than here on earth but seeing earth itself was amazing. It was also peaceful, no fighting or wars like here on the ground but at the same time, every day was the same."

"What does she look like?"

"Earth?" and he nodded.

"Earth is covered in bright greens and blues from the oceans and seas. Certain parts are obviously deserts but they are still beautiful. The ark was mostly steel and the only part of the station that had any vegetation was the farm station. Everything around here is real," it was hard to remember which was strange because I had spent almost 18 years on the ark and only 5 on the ground but the time spent on the ground felt so much longer. It felt as though I had spent 18 years with the ground underfoot than the metal of the Ark.

"Everything was recycled on the Ark, water, clothes, even the air. That was the reason that the Ark came down. There was a flaw in the filtration system, meaning that our air supply was running out."

"Why would you run out of air?" I tried to not coo at how adorable he looked confused.

"There is no air in space, so you need something to filter the air, so you can breathe. That was the real reason that we were sent to earth. We had no air. Earth is a hell of a lot better than space though. I love the forest, the books and stories never did it any justice. My first true breath of air was that first day here and that door opened, and I've been able to truly breath since that moment," Gustus making a small humming noise before replying.

"That does not sound pleasant and I am going to assume that your people rely heavily on technology and your guns."

"We do, you will only find a few of us who will want to learn and thrive in this world like those of the Trikru. We had a class called Earth Skills but there was no practical experience and none of us were truly prepared to come down to earth," he seemed almost pleased with that answer and then I finally realized that we had arrived.

The corral for the horses was pretty massive. I had never been brought to the area where the horses were kept the last time. There was only one white horse and instantly I remembered the white stallion that Lexa rode till the bombing of Ton DC and now I knew that that was the horse she was gifted from the Riders of the Planes. I could still see it in my mind's eye of the horse galloping past, covered in flames as it ran from Ton DC after the bomb hit.

Gustus easily jumped over the fence and grabbed the lead of one of the largest horses in the paddock. Opening the gate, he brought the massive animal to a stop in front of me and grinned when he noticed that the top of the horses back came all the way up above my shoulders. The horse's coat was black and looked soft to the touch. His hooves were large, and he looked to have white socks on. It was also easy to tell that winter was getting closer because his coat was thickening and made him look almost fluffy.

"You just had to pick the biggest horse, didn't you?" I tell him before getting a strong grip on the saddle and pulled myself up. It was certainly difficult though, I was missing the muscles I had built up in the future. I knew my endurance was going to be utter shit when I got back into fighting and would take serious work to get back to where I was.

"Bring us the boy. I am looking forward to our fight Clarke of the Sky People. You should be joined by two other guards. They will meet you at the edge of the camp." He gave me a pleased look before walking away.

"Mochof Gostos!" I shouted as he walked away. He didn't even turn around and continued walking.

I pulled the reigns and brought the horse into a trot because once I brought Finn back I could go to bed. I had not a decent night sleep in years and the thought of sleeping without the fear of being found was already relaxing me. I knew that what I was about to do would not sit well with anyone in Arkadia, but I did not care. If the Trikru did not kill Finn then they would have too and the people of Arkadia had not lost anyone to Finn. It would not be right for us to take away their justice.

Finding the two other riders was quite simple because they were the only ones on horse back and with torches. They nodded their heads at me and followed without a word. The ride back was filled with silence but it was a good silence, something that was greatly appreciated.

Once we were in sight of the camp I remembered I did not have any rope and pulled my horse to a stop. The two other riders coming to stop on either side of me.

"Do either of you have rope?" The one with the skull mask only nodded his head before handing a massive bundle of rope he had in his side saddle.

Grabbing the rope, I smirked. "Mochof."

The man just nodded his head before kicking his horse forward once more.

"Hyah!" I kicked the horse in the side forcing him into a gallop, passing the warrior and making my way quickly to the gate. It was truly dark out as it was only a new moon and the fog was not helping one bit, but the guards were able to make out that it was me, allowing me entry. It was weird to see people that I know to be dead and part of me was on edge because many of them would be the people that had joined Pike.

"Open the gate! She's back!" Bellamy's voice set me on edge but I ignored it, bringing the horse to a sudden stop. The horse reared back and I easily kept my grip. Once the horse settled down I jumped off the back of the horse, throwing the rope over my shoulder and then reaching for the gun I had kept in my pants as I marched forward.

Finn was waiting right next to the gate just like I remembered and instant furry ignited in my body, easily flooding my mind. I walked forward and quickly flipped the gun to where I was holding the barrel, making sure to keep it hidden behind my back because I had a feeling he would not just come with me because I asked.

"Clarke, what'd the Commander say?" the worry was heavy in his voice.

"She agreed to the alliance but on one condition."

Finn shifted his weight to his other foot. "She wanted me, didn't she. For what I did in the village."

"Yes. Are you going to come with me?" His eyes glanced at the warriors on horseback behind me.

"What do you mean? Aren't you going to help me?" he sounded incredulous. I turned and looked over at the warriors, both of them just staring back. The warrior in the bone mask was slightly terrifying to look at because his eyes seemed black because of how dark it was and the shadows cast across his face. Both of the warriors grips on their reins tightened slightly when their eyes met my gaze.

I turned back to watch Finn take one step back. My grip tightened on the barrel and then I swung my arm around, hitting him hard on the side of the head. The crack was loud and all the sound seemed to stop once I hit him.

His eyes widened in surprise as I did it before he crumbled to the ground, knocked out. I leaned down and began to tie him up. I had tied enough people up that it was almost muscle memory and I knew I could easily do it with my eyes closed. I had hoped to feel at least some remorse for what I had done but all I felt was satisfaction, not exactly knowing what I was satisfied about. Maybe it was because this was easier than I thought it was going to be or that I hadn't had actual sleep in over a day?

"Clarke what the hell are you doing?!" Bellamy roared, before tackling me to the side. I rolled with the blow easily and was able to get on top of him, pinning him beneath me easily.

"I am saving our people. He murdered innocent people and will be punished for it. Don't forget that I am the one in charge, Bellamy!" I yelled in his face before standing up and walked back over to Finns unconscious body and finished tying him up. Ignoring how all the guards seemed to have their guns aimed at both me and the two Trikru warriors on horseback.

Once he was securely tied up, I grabbed him and threw him over my shoulder. I almost crumpled under the weight before I adjusted him into a proper fireman's carry. I also just realized the big difference from my body now and almost five years from now. The amount Finn's weighs would have been easy for me to carry but now was slightly difficult and I could feel the strain in my legs from holding the weight. I was stopped at the gate by none other than my mother. I had not realized that she had arrived.

"Clarke what are you doing?" she looked concerned and very worried. Her eyes continued to flicker back and forth between Finn's body and my face.

"I am taking him. He is going to be tried for his crimes against Trikru and justly punished. I understand how you would not agree with what I am doing but trust me when I say I know what I am doing," my voice was as hard as steel as I stood my ground. She knew from my face that I would not back down easily from this.

"Clarke, he is one our people, not one of the grounders. There has to be something else we can do. Why can't we try him?"

"Mom, if you want the alliance then you will let me pass. With his death we solidify the truce, you need to remember you aren't in charge here," I took a step closer to the gate and was now only a couple of feet away from her. Many of the people in the area heard me and were shouting their agreement with me.

"Clarke! What the hell are you doing?!" A voice rang out, causing my chest to tighten as her dead eyes flashed in my mind.

Fuck and this was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I rushed forward easily stepping past my mother and made it the horse, tossing his body over the front of the saddle. I turned back to Raven as she almost ran over. Her face was clouded over in fury.

"Raven this needs to be done," my voice was as hard steel.

"You can't do this! This isn't how our people work Clarke. You can't take him from me," she stopped in my personal space and instantly I was on guard. I knew her well enough that she would try to hardest to get me to stop. I could hear the horses behind me shifting as well as the sound of steel being unsheathed.

"Our treaty only works if we give him to the grounders. How do you not understand that? He killed innocent people. He killed children! Little ones, Raven!" My composure was slowly cracking, and I closed the remaining distance between her and me.

"Accept this, the sooner this happens, the sooner our alliance is assured. Remember who's in charge here, Raven," my eyes narrowed when I see her anger reach the breaking point. This was when she became dangerous and acted rashly.

"No, I won't let you take him, he's the only family I have left," then I easily blocked her haphazardly thrown punch. When she threw another, I was done and my patience for such things was gone. I had grown hard over the years and I had lost my patience for any and all who questioned my leadership.

My left arm wrapped around her back and my right hand around her left wrist. I brought my feet parallel to her feet, lowered my hip a little below hers and then threw her. She landed hard on the ground and part of me deeply regretting having to hurt her but there was no changing this. Either I bring him now or he turns himself later.

Raven stared up at me in shock. "His fate is sealed Raven and I know how close you two are. Truly I am sorry and hope one day you can forgive me for doing this to you," then I turn my back and jump onto the back of the horse.

"Accept this Raven because even I won't be able to save you if you do something to jeopardize this alliance," with those final words, I turned the horse and gave the sides a slight kick.

The horse released a snort before moving to a trot. The two other warriors quickly follow behind, all of us ignoring Raven's screams. "You would think they would be more supportive of this. He killed 18 innocent people."

"Jus drien, jus daun," one of the men behind me spoke.

"Jus drien, just daun," I spoke back.

I was happy I was doing it this way instead of trying to repeat the past because if Raven had given me that knife and told me to kill Lexa I would have decked her in the face. Thankfully the ride back to her camp seemed to go much quicker than it did going to Camp Jaha.

When we finally arrived back to the corral, I was met with the sight of Gustus standing there, once again holding his jacket lapels and he actually grinned at me when he noticed who else was on my horse. I pulled the horse to a stop next to him before jumping down.

"See just like I said I would," I cockily told him with a wide grin stretched across my face.

"So it seems," his eyes looked black as his eyes seemed to bore into Finn's unconscious body.

"It looks like he gave you trouble."

"Yes, when I asked if he was going to come with me, he stepped back. I hit him the head with the end of my gun. Raven also tried to attack me and I dropped her quickly," then I grabbed Finn's shoulders and dragged him off the horse, before adjusting my grip, bringing his body to hang over my shoulder once more.

"Is the Commander still awake? I promised I would bring him to her or just drop him off somewhere, so I can go to sleep. I need a place to sleep for a while if not I am just gonna crawl into a tree."

"Zoran take him from Clarke and follow us to Heda," Gustus ordered the man with the skull mask, who was quick to try and grab Finn. I took a step back when he went to grab Finn off my back.

"We are heading to the Commander's tent and I said I would deliver him. I can do it," I hissed out, feeling slighted from the offer. My lip curled in hate as I looked at the two rather large men. Gustus continued to hold my stare, till he finally nodded his head and I walked in the direction of Lexa's tent.

My steps were a little larger than normal at the thought of seeing Lexa again, half way to her tent Finn moved. I didn't even stop and walked even faster to get to her tent, glad that I gag in his mouth because I didn't want to hear his voice.

The first step into the tent released the tension that I had been feeling in my chest and a sigh of relief slipped past my lips causing Gustus to turn and look at me strangely when I moved past him. Lexa looked up from the war table, eyes widening in shock when she notices I have Finn before her mask slipped back on.

Walking forward till I was a couple feet away from her I tossed Finn to the floor, causing him to release a groan. Leaning down I rolled him over and lifted him onto his knees. His eyes widened almost in fear when he came face to face with Lexa who still had her war paint on.

"S this is the one called Finn. The one who killed 18 of my people," the steel in her voice could cut diamond and I felt the fear travel down my spine when I looked into her face. It reminded me of the first time I had met her and was grateful that she wasn't directing that look at me.

"Take him out of my sight Gustus," her words were hissed. Gustus ripped the boy up and that is when Finn noticed me there. His eyes seemed confused before they narrowed in anger but it was quite easy to see past it to the fear that was easily visible. Finn was forced to walk out of the tent but his eyes continued to keep eye contact with me as he left.

"You should be asleep by now Lexa," tilting my head at the end. Her eyes narrowed before she seemed to think differently, and her entire body relaxed. It was easy to see how tired she was if you knew what to look for. Her eyes weren't as aware and sharp but that did mean anything in the long run. Her shoulders were a little more pitched and her head wasn't as high held. These things though if you did not truly know Lexa then you would never notice because she still looked intimidating and strong.

"Your concern is noted but is not needed," the words while meant to be biting was said in a tired voice.

"You need to sleep. I am going to go find a place to sleep in because I have been awake for too long and I know that the execution won't happen until nightfall."

"How do you know that it won't happen until nightfall?"

"Easy, I talked to Lincoln. Now reshop, heda," I bowed my head slightly to her before I made it to the entrance of the tent before her calling my name made me stop.

"Where are you sleeping?" her face and voice were giving nothing away to what she was thinking.

I shrug my shoulder. "I am probably going to sneak back into Camp Jaha, while you may consider me the leader of Skaikru it does not mean that those of Skaikru think the same."

"Why do they not?" Lexa seemed genuinely confused.

"The Trikru believe that being a good leader does not come with age, it certainly helps to be older, but you truly go off who is the strongest. The Ark, our leaders are chosen by the people and the people always chose between the heads of the different departments. These heads are all older individuals. My mother considers us children. You are a child in her eyes Lexa, the same as I am," her eyes narrowed, and lip curled.

"She would be smart not to call me a child," Lexa grumbled out.

"She doesn't understand how things work here on the ground," telling her with a nod.

"And you do?"

"You are Heda, the Commander of the 12 clans. You could knock me on my ass if you tried but I wouldn't make it easy."

"You seem pretty confident in yourself."

"It's not confidence if you know its true," puffing out my chest slightly. It was true though, Octavia had become a monster against any opponent and fighter she went against and that was after only a couple of years on the ground. The only reason Echo was able to defeat Octavia was because she had been hit in the leg by a spear a couple weeks before her fight and that had given Echo an edge.

Octavia had feinted to Echo's left, a move she had done thousands of times before and her leg chose that moment to give out and Echo used that her to advantage and slammed her sword into Octavia's stomach. I had looked over right as the sword shot through the back of Octavia's armor. Octavia used the opportunity to bring her knife across Echo's throat.

The field was stained red when the fight was over. The pyre I made for her was massive, more than a few scouts came to see what was happening because they knew that Octavia and I were in the area. My heart clenched and beat a painful rhythm at that memory.

"We shall see tomorrow, Klark. If you do not want to go back to your camp, then the tent to the left is free. Reshop, Klark," she spoke before turning and leaving the main area.

"Reshop, ai hodness," I whispered before leaving and finding the empty tent. Thankfully there was nothing in the tent besides the cot and I just threw myself down, placing the gun under the pillow before I finally closed my eyes and let the black take me.

* * *

I woke in a cold sweat, Ontari's cold laugh ringing in my ear and the phantom pain my right shoulder flared to life and I could only assume that it was the last minutes I was in the future because I could not remember what happened in the dream. The shifting of the tent flap forced my hand and I grabbed the gun and had it aimed at Indra when she fully entered the tent. She stopped and then pulled her sword quickly from her side.

"What is this?" she hissed at me.

"A nightmare," I mutter, putting the gun next to me, before putting my face into my hands scrubbing the sleep away. I throw the blanket to the side and stand, putting the gun in the waistband of my pants. Standing to my full height, I stretched my back enjoying the few cracks of my spine.

"Why are you in here, Indra?"

"Heda said you were in here and half the day has passed. I figured that you had backed out of our fight today."

"Awwwww and you were worried that I backed out. I didn't know you cared so much," her eyes narrowed, and her knuckles turned white from how hard she was holding her sword.

"Do not think so highly of yourself. You shall regret this challenge when you are in the dirt looking up at me," the amount of contempt and anger on her was palpable. She was even looking down at me. I had planned to go easy on her but now I planned to make a point.

"Where is Gustus? I am gonna go against him as soon as we are done," my voice was calm but the fury in me was coursing through my veins and I so wanted to deck her in the face.

"Follow me," a smirk was now plastered on her face, quickly leaving the tent.

"Well then," I mumbled to no one.

I can't tell if she is excited for the fight or if she just wants to beat the shit out of me.

'I am pretty sure at this point in time she just hates me and every other person from Skaikru.'

Indra began weaving her way through the tents and I followed at almost a jog because she was hauling ass through the tents. Finally, we cleared the last row of tents and I was surprised that not only Gustus was already there but Lexa and at least 30 other warriors were standing around making a makeshift circle. The area was in fact the same area that I knew tonight they would execute Finn and when I looked up I could see that some people from Camp Jaha were standing at the fence but they were to far away for me to see who exactly was there.

Lexa was in full battle armor regalia with her war paint on as well. She was currently talking to Gustus but stopped once she noticed Indra had returned. Her eyes lit up in excitement when she finally locked eyes with me and I could tell she was as equally excited for the fights as the other warriors are.

"Klark, it is nice to see you. I was worried that you had backed out of our fight," Gustus actually seemed excited for this and I felt worry spike through me when I finally could see the sword that Gustus planned to fight with. The thing was wider than two of my hands and was over four and a half feet long. I was tempted to fight him first so if I died I wouldn't have to face Indra because she was going to try and drag out the fight and with my fight against Gustus I am going to need all of my speed against him. (A/N: Zweihander two-handed sword)

Lexa strode across the circle carrying two swords in her hands, the swords were not familiar, no memory coming forward of her even using them. She still looked tired though but better than earlier this morning. I was still surprised that it seemed to be the middle of the afternoon and I had slept that long. I was grateful I had slept that long though because I felt full of energy and was ready to kick some ass but after another glance at the sword Gustus has maybe he would kick my ass.

"Monin, Klark!" Lexa greeted. (Welcome Clarke)

"Afternoon Lexa. Are these for me to use?" gesturing to the swords in her hands.

"If you win then they are yours to keep. Do you think you will use knives as well?" she asked as she handed over the weapons.

"If I lose a sword then I replace it with a knife so two would be nice but only if you have it where I can strap them to my thighs if not then I'll be fine for these fights," without looking up, I strapped the swords to my back and the added weight, allowed me to feel calmer because I could fight once more. Having swords attached to my hip and back for over four years and then not having them for even a day and a half made me on edge the entire time.

I tightened the strap for the last sword, before rolling my shoulders slightly. Looking up when I finished I met two daggers both in their sheaths with thigh straps attached, grabbing those and attaching them as well, both of them looking familiar.

"Whose are these?" gesturing to the knives that I easily fastened to my thighs. The only thing missing was the throwing knives I had kept in leather gauntlets and the rest that I kept on my back.

"They are mine," her voice sounded so smug and I felt a rush of pleasure that all of the weapons on me were Lexa's. Yeah, I was gonna destroy Indra and Gustus because how could I not? Confidence is key and Lexa was watching. I deeply wished this Lexa knew because I knew that she would be so proud of how far I had come and that thought brought an ache to my chest. I shook my head and the ache faded.

"Reshop, Heda," trying to tell her how grateful I was.

"Pro. You just need to win against one to keep my weapons and then both to get the armor that you want. Then you will fight against me if that is what you wish," she looked way to please at the last part.

"I greatly look forward to it Commander," smiling widely at her, enjoying the pleased glint in her eyes and I looked forward to the look on her face when I defeated both Indra and Gustus.

"Who would you like to go against first sky girl?" Gustus gruff voice interrupted my focused stare at Lexa.

"I'd like to go against you first Gustus. Figured I'd get your huge ass out of the way first."

I almost took a step back when he actually laughed. It was deep and kind of nice but certainly off-putting.

"We shall see what you say when I beat you," with those words he lifted the massive fucking sword easily and it landed lightly on his shoulder.

I moved to the other side of the massive circle taking the swords out as I walked over. The weight was pretty balanced and not to heavy but I knew I would need to begin working on my endurance immediately. When I reached the other side I finally noticed that more warriors had arrived. The crowd that now surrounded the circle was massive and when I looked over to Camp Jaha I could even see a crowd forming on the hill that over looked and I could make out Kane from here. It was nice to see him after so long even if I could barely make him out from so far away.

Turning back I twirled the blades in my hands, allowing my battle mindset to take over, my entire being calming down and my focus zoomed into Gustus who still had the sword placed on his shoulder. Then the warriors began to stomp their feet, creating a steady beat.

Lexa was on the side of the circle in the middle with Indra standing next to her.

"YO NA JOMP IN!" Lexa roared and then the warriors began to scream in excitement. (You may begin)

I was then moving, sprinting towards Gustus with a single focus and that was his legs. If I was able to get him on the ground I could win. My strength may not have been to great but I knew where to punch to be the most effective.

When I was close enough Gustus swung the sword with effective ease down at me. I leaped to the right because there was no way that I could block his swing without injuring myself. I felt the breeze when I moved out of the way of the incoming swing.

I ended up to his left side and he was already swinging his sword again. Again, I dodged but this time threw myself to the ground and rolled landing in a crouch before swinging both sword in a slash aiming for his chest, but he stopped both with the broad side of his sword. I began to push waiting till he pushed back with greater force, till he forcing me down with his full strength.

I jumped back to the side and his sword sunk deep into the soft earth beneath our feet. He released a growl because I used that to my advantage and delivered a vicious kick to his side, causing him to curl into his side slightly. I then turned my right first and slammed my hand that was still holding the sword hard into his face knocking him back.

The sound of nose breaking was so loud that I heard it over the roar of the crowd. I was way to pleased to see the blood pouring down his face but then it was swept away by fear because Gustus was pissed. He ripped the sword up and then he swung for my head, but I was too close to step back and dropped to the ground, rolling myself back till I was on my feet once more.

I was in a crouched position and when I tried to stand, I had to bring my swords up, crossing them as I went forming an x. I stopped the sword right as it almost hit full force to my face and I was then concerned he might actually kill me. He brought the sword down harder but ended up sliding it through my blades. The sound actually hurt my ears and then my face was cut into by end of the blade, almost taking my eye. Pissed at myself because I knew this would happen.

Then I threw myself back as quickly as possible, ignoring how part of my face burned. I was thankful though because I could tell it was not too deep but it hurt like a bitch. If I had lost an eye I would have tried to kill him. My left eye turned red and then burned thanks to the blood.

"Fuck!" I roared at him. Then I was moving once more, this time I was moving constantly. I aimed all my swings near his hands, forcing him to continue to back away. The sword while great for long distance fighting was in no way good for close fighting. I was tempted to toss the swords and use the daggers, that would truly cause him major problems but when I fought with daggers, I always went for the kill and I already knew the daggers were extremely sharp. If I did not stop at the right moment I could easily kill Gustus and I was liking him to much this time around to do such a thing.

I felt a rush of adrenaline, jumping up slightly I brought both swords down in a powerful overhead strike. I was actually able to cause the massive man to stumble and then I dropped down and swept my left leg swiftly to his right knee causing him to fall and lose the grip he had on his sword in his fall.

Dropping both swords I jumped on top of Gustus and began to just rain down blow after blow to his face before reaching toward my thigh and grabbed a dagger and then held it against his throat hard enough that a bead of blood dripped down his neck.

The warriors around us lost their shit at this point, many banging their weapons on the ground.

"What did I tell ya, Gustus," I was panting by this point. I crawled off the massive man, standing and holding a hand out to him. The smile on my face was massive and I felt proud that I was able to take that guy down and win.

He turned to the side and spit out blood before turning back to me with a large grin on his face. He reached out and grabbed my hand, lifting himself off the ground. Gustus then leaned down and picked up my swords that I had dropped before flipping them and handing them back to me, grip first.

"Good fight Clarke of the Sky People," then he reached out and grabbed my face turning it to the side looking at the cut he managed to land, releasing a small laugh he threw my face away. I glared heatedly at him.

"It is not that bad and should leave a good scar. Now we can tell you have actually fought, instead of looking like you have never seen battle," then he reached into his coat and pulled out a clean looking rag, stepped forward and then whipped off the blood that was still pouring from the wound. Annoyance filled me because I did not know if that was even clean and I felt like a child. I released a hiss of pain when the cloth touched the actual wound, unfortunately the blade was not very sharp, so the cut seemed to be uneven and not as smooth as it would have been if the blade was sharper. (A/N: Interesting fact the sharper the blade the less it hurts! So like if you hated someone…dull blade)

"You did well. It was a good fight, Nyko will put a salve on to stop the bleeding. I believe it will hinder your fight against Indra if left unattended. She is comparable to your style."

Gustus then walked away and I followed because he was walking over to Nyko. I did not even know he was here in camp, assuming he was in Ton DC but it would make sense because Finn was going to be executed for killing those in his village. "Good fight. Now come here. I have some salve that will stop the bleeding."

He reached into his bag and pulled out a jar that held a light-colored paste that almost looked like wax. I could smell the yarrow in it instantly when he opened it. He took a big glob of it and began to cover the entire cut with it. It went from right below my hairline straight down, splitting my eyebrow before continuing on till it stopped next to edge of my lip. The paste left the wound feeling numb, which I certainly wasn't going to complain about.

"You are good, if he gotten any deeper though you would have lost your eye. I think Indra is waiting for you though," he nodded his head over to her. She was still standing next to Lexa, who when her eyes connected to mine lit up with pride before controlling her expression. When Indra noticed that Nyko was done though she stalked to where Gustus was at the beginning of our fight.

"Oh fuck. This is gonna suck," it was easy to see the fire in her eyes. They looked almost black at this point. Walking away, I ignored the snort that Gustus released.

Walking back to the opposite side of the circle, I finally noticed that once again their were more warriors and were beginning to move up to hill to see what was happening. It seemed like now that more than half the camp had gathered to watch. When I made it over, I took the swords out and rolled my shoulders. All sound disappeared and then they began to create that loud beat once more. All of them began to pound their weapons into the ground, all looking to Lexa once more waiting for the words to begin the fight.

"YO NA JOMP IN!" Lexa roared once more. The warriors then began to scream in excitement once more.

Indra only ever used one sword which would give me the advantage I would need in this fight but Ontari used one sword and that ended oh so well. I was still pissed at her earlier statement though and planned to drag this out.

"What are you waiting for? Are you scared?" Indra taunted. She was slowly stalking forward and then we were circling each other. I stayed just out of her range, trying to think of her weaknesses but she did not have many. She always is calm in her fights but sometimes she over extends her swing, unbalancing herself but it happens quickly and if you miss it then that sucks to be you.

I finally lost my patience and charged forward, swinging at her just as Anya did when she was in the drop shit. Indra narrowed her eyes before bringing her sword up to block one sword before twisting to get out of the way of the other sword, only for another sword to almost swipe her across her face.

I pressed my attack again, easily following her and forcing her back. Then she finally swept her sword at me over extending like I knew she would, knocking her balance off. I used that advantage and slammed the pummel of my sword hard into her face throwing her to the ground. This was the start of my humiliation because then I stood back and allowed her to stand. My blow was strong though and I had split her cheek from the hit and could see the clouded over look hit before she shook her head and pulled herself up.

"I am not scared, Indra," I tell her in a calm voice. She snarls at me and charges once more but she doesn't swing her sword and at the last second tackles me. Then she slams her fist into my face, throwing my head back and hitting the ground hard, my vision swan. I forced it away and then bucked my hips hard, throwing her to the side of me.

I roll in the opposite direction and bring myself off the ground, thankfully in time to avoid a high strike to near my head from her sword. Then I do the same exact thing I did with Gustus, I sweep my left leg out hitting her leg hard causing her land hard on her side. I jump on the chance and I don't even wait taking out my dagger and leaning onto the blade once it is pressed against her throat, not stopping till a trickle of blood runs down her throat.

Her eyes are blown wide in surprise that I had won so easily before she let her head hit the ground and closed her eyes in surrender. "Good job sky girl," she reluctantly complimented me.

The loud steady beat began once more but this time they began to chant my name. I slowly got off Indra and extended my hand to help her off the ground. She eyed my hand for a couple of seconds before finally reaching out and grabbing it to let me help her. When she was fully standing she looked me in the eye as though judging me before she slapped me hard on the back and smiled.

Her eyes then shifted to something behind me, turning I met brightly lit green eyes. Her grin was wide and her teeth shone brightly. An ache filled my chest at the want to pull her into a kiss but I pushed it deep down and just took in how beautiful she looked at the moment.

"EN PLENI!" Lexa screamed causing all the noise to vanish. She then grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand into the air with hers, a pleasant warmth filling my body at her touch.

"EM LAIK KLARK, HEDA KOM SKAIKRU! EM LAIK GONA! EM SIS AU MAUN-DE NA SLIP DAUN!" (She is Clarke, Leader of the Sky People. She is a warrior! She help defeat the mountain! I wanted it to say she will help us defeat the mountain, but I couldn't find the word for will)

This last statement sent off a whole new round of shouting and cries for war. The cry of Jus drien jus daun roared through the air. The steady beat began once more. Lexa dropped my hand which caused a frown to form but I quickly smiled again because this was going so much better than the first round.

"You earned your weapons Klark and the armor that is coming your way," she seemed to be reluctant to add that last part.

"The fight with Indra was quicker than I expected, especially because I could tell you wanted to drag it out."

I rubbed the back of my neck, but my fingers ended up tangling in my hair, ripping my hand out of my hair with a grimace before focusing back onto Lexa, who looked highly amused. "I had planned on it but then she tackled me and thought maybe this wasn't a good idea, also my stamina is crap and after the fight with Gustus I needed to end the fight quickly."

"No, it certainly wasn't," I actually jumped because I had forgotten that Indra was right next to me.

"Follow me and I will take you to the armory and we will get you everything you want because it seems you did win the bet unless you would like to fight me now?" She looked way too excited at the prospect of fighting against me. I shook my muscles out but at feeling the burning in my arms and how my face was throbbing and then the other side still burned from the cut from Gustus decided it would not be the best time.

"As much as I would like to, I don't think I could give you good fight. Give me a day and then we can have a fight," the disappointment was clear till I said I we would and then that gleam returned to her eye.

"I shall hold you to that," then she was almost stalking through the camp.

"I was amazed at your fight with Gustus. A few times I almost called the fight because I thought he would kill you but you impressed me. Hopefully, your cut does not hurt too much," she gave me a small smile and I felt pride swell in my chest knowing I had impressed her.

"Mochof Leska. The paste that Nyko used is pretty amazing and the wound does not hurt as much as it did," I lightly touched the wound but besides it being tender it did not hurt, though I could feel the stretching of skin when I smiled but it was easy enough to ignore it.

After a couple of minutes we reached a large three-sided tent, a steady column of smoke was rising and I could easily see why. They had somehow made a forge from a large group of rocks, I was actually stunned to silence. Along different tables and benches were different armors and weapons. Then I saw them, there was small pile of knives and that was the first place I went, my fingers itching to have throwing knives once more.

I started shifting through the different knives and was able to find 10 of the same type of small throwing knives. The ten knives were all the length of my hand, the handle was the size of my palm and the blade was the same length. I was almost giddy at the thought of owning them and the best part is they were not to heavy, which means I can carry a lot of them and not notice.

"Lexa these. I will keep the swords on my back but these, I need these," she walked over from where she was talking with the man who was actually taller and broader than Gustus. Who followed close behind Lexa.

"Good choices. What else do you need?" his voice was as deep as I assumed it to be. It almost seemed to rumble. Once closer, I could tell he was more than a foot taller than me. I felt the need to take a step back just so I didn't feel so small anymore.

"I need armor and then I was really hoping you had gauntlets where I could place these knives in them. I only need it to hold one on each arm," I tell him as I show him the knives that I was clutching in my hands.

"I only have a few choices that can hold the knives but those are all braces and would not protect your hands, but you can get something else to protect your hands. The chest armor for you will be easy, is there anything that you would specifically want on it?" He had now walked over to where a large pile of hard leather armor was and began throwing the larger ones to the side, based off the size I am going to assume none of those would have done a good job protecting me and were most likely made for larger men. I missed wearing armor as well, a large part of me always enjoying the smell of leather.

"Klark, when you have everything you may need, you may do what you wish for the rest of the day," she didn't even wait for me to reply before she left the tent.

"She seemed like she was in a hurry. Don't you think?" I turned to the massive man who had finally sorted through all the leather armor and was still in front of a large pile.

"It was a quick exit. She ran like she had pauna behind her. Strange. Pick what you want from this and if you need something added to it let me know," then he turned and went back to hammering at a blade that was bright red.

From the large pile, after sorting through all the different ones, I had picked one that had the thickest leather. I knew it would make it a little harder to move for now but after wearing it long enough, I knew that leather would soften soon enough. It was also black which I loved so there was that but I would need him to add something to cover my shoulders and upper arms.

I picked it up, before walking over to the blacksmith and waited for him to stop what he was doing. He noticed me instantly and hit the sword a few more times before dunking it in a large barrel of water. His face softened when he looked at me once more, then his eyes drifted to the chest piece in my hand. He held his large hand out and I gave him the armor.

"Is there anything you wish to change?"

Nodding my head. "I need more coverage of the shoulders and upper arms. Then on the lower back, I need you to add eight knife sheaths. Four knife handles facing the right and four facing the left, preferably alternating going down. Maybe a way to have a knife sheath that I can have on my front shoulder?" I reached my arm forward and touched the left chest area of the armor.

"Like have it right here? Also, I need the shoulder pieces to be blue. It can be both shoulders or just one. I know this is a lot so if you need extra help around here I would be happy to help. I can even hunt if you want because I know that it's a lot."

The calculating look in his eyes vanished and then he placed the armor down on the counter before turning to give me his full attention. "I have heard that you will help bring down the mountain. My brother, wife, and child were all taken in some way by the mountain. You are a leader as well and not just some random member of Skaikru. If these things can protect you and bring you what you need in the coming fight, then I am more than happy to do these things for you. I do not need anything from you, Heda has taken care of everything but if you ever want to come by and help me then I would not say no," he had a small smile on his face. He in a way reminded me of a giant teddy bear because I had expected a man that size to be short and to only say a few words but holy crap that was a mouth full.

He then walked over to a different table that had different gauntlets and braces. "Come. I have many different choices here."

I walked over and he handed me some braces that I could tell that these had the spaces built in for the knives. The first one he handed to me was the ones I wanted, my hands greedily stretching out and grabbing the braces. Someone had stitched in white lines that ran in waves around the entire thing and I softly ran my hand over the waves stitched into the leather.

He released a pleased hum before grabbing them from my hands, slowly unlacing them with practiced ease before grabbing my arm and placing it on my wrist. Then he reached over to the small growing pile of my things that were next to us and placed the throwing knife in the slot. Repeating the process with the other arm.

The braces fit perfectly and worked better in my mind than the gauntlets though having something to protect my hands wouldn't be such a bad thing, but I already loved these. "My wife Silva would help me in the forge sometimes. This is one of her pieces, she used to say that I made them so plain and that was why she was with me. Her pieces are the ones that have something like this on it," his eyes were glazed over as he seemed to stare off and I knew that he was lost in memories long past. His look was one I used to have on my face often after I lost Lexa and my heart ached that he had lost so much.

"She sounds like a wonderful woman. I am sorry, but I never got your name," this seemed to pull him out of his memories before giving me a warm smile.

"Ai laik Arik kom Trikru."

"Ai laik Klark kom Skaikru. It is an honor to meet you Arik," Arik gave me another smile, this one larger than the last.

"The honor is mine. Do you want something that will protect your hands as well? Or is this alright?"

I looked down and inspected my hands, trying to decide if I even needed anything. The only time I ever needed something to cover my hands was ironically when I was throwing my knives and that was only the beginning when I was teaching myself because I always cut my hands open. It was weird to look down at my hands to see no scars, only smooth skin. "No, the bracers are truly what I needed. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. If you ever need anything let me know."

"I will everything you need done within the day. I am not working on anything important at the moment, only a few repairs. You can take what you have on you now. Now go so I can work," he gave me a slight push towards the entrance of the tent. I was surprised that the sun was so low in the sky, a deep red was slowly spreading across the sky. I had not realized how late it had gotten and how much time I had spent in there with Arik.

* * *

I had tossed up the idea of going to Camp Jaha and discuss why I had done what I had done but I knew that it wouldn't end well and would most likely end with Raven trying to punch me again or giving me a knife and telling me to kill Lexa. I would have then punched her in the face. Instead, I just wandered around the camp and spent a few minutes petting the large stallion that I had rode the night before. His presence was soothing and he seemed to enjoy me petting him while I waited for the sun to fall and the moon to take its place.

Once the moon was in the night sky I had made my way over the Lexa's tent, where I then followed the small clearing I had been earlier in the day. Lexa was currently standing next to me and I was just enjoying being in her presence, a question popped in my head, one I had always wondered. She was staring intently at the pole where Finn would be tied to soon.

"Commander?"

She didn't say anything, but she did turn and give me her full attention. "Why did you agree to the meeting? Why is that not me who is up on the pole?"

"This is war Klark. You did what you had to survive and as a leader who is doing what she can to keep her people alive and well, I could not hold that against you. If I had been given the same options as you then I would have chosen the same. This Finn went into a village and then slaughtered 18 of my people, during a time when a leader from your people had come to speak of peace with me. If you had not asked for the meeting you and your people would currently be dead or been in the desert," she emphasized my people and her hand tightened around her sword. Her eyes that had been calm a second ago were now lit bright in her anger and I felt a familiar curling in my lower abdomen.

The yelling of warriors caught my attention and my eyes finally left hers to watch as two different warriors brought Finn and began tying him to the pole. Many people were crowded at the fence of Camp Jaha and I could see the blonde hair of my mother from here. The loud yelling of the warriors slowly fell away leaving the clearing quiet with only the sound of the cracking of the fires heard.

"We can discuss this later if you wish Klark of the Sky People," she turned away from me and made her way till she was standing in front of Finn. His eyes were blown wide and his body shook slightly in fear.

"Finn you are brought here today to suffer the fate of 1000 cuts for the murder of 18 innocents in the village of Ton DC," she then lifted her knife and cut him across the chest. Finn released a groan and I could only watch as his blood began to trickle down his shirt.

Lexa turned and made her way back to me, as Indra then walked forward and cut Finn. This time he released a scream before gritting his teeth. I could see the muscles bulge in his neck. I flinched, in all my years on earth this was still the one thing I absolutely despised and would deliver only if they had truly done something terrible to deserve it. It also always brought back flashes of my mother's death.

Gustus then walked forward and cut Finn across his ribs, the blood staining his blue shirt a red hue. Finn must have bit his tongue because this time he did not scream. A warrior that I did not know the name of then walked forward and delivered his own cut to Finn.

I then decided that they were getting close to enough and stood behind Nyko. He did not say anything to me when I stepped behind him but did raise his eyebrow in suspicion. Then it was his turn and he delivered his own cut, whispering a name as he did.

Finn's eyes widened in surprise when he saw me walking towards him before just hanging his head accepting his fate.

"Clarke why?" his voice was laced with pain and then he looked up at me.

"I could not save you from this fate Finn. May we meet again," then I pulled the dagger from my thigh and then pushed it deep into his chest. He released a grunt of pain before his head fell forward as dead weight. The warm blood coated my hand and then pulled the dagger from his chest. Turning back to Lexa whose eyes were wide in surprise before she nodded her head. Indra was pissed though and had gone to grab her sword before Lexa had stopped her with a single look.

Then I finally realized that someone was screaming before it clicked in my mind that it was Raven. Sorrow filled my chest with the knowledge that I had hurt her, but this was for the best. I let them deliver some of their justice while also getting my alliance with Lexa.

"It is done," Lexa's voice rang clear across the clearing before she turned and walked to her tent with Indra and Gustus following close behind. I looked to sky before closing my eyes. In two days time Gustus was going to poison himself to break the alliance and I could not let that happen. Then after that was the bombing of Ton DC and I did not know what I could do to even prevent that specific disaster.

Closing the space between Finn and me, I leaned against him. My shoulder slightly beneath his, then reaching around I cut the rope that was still holding him up. His body fell heavily into mine, but I easily supported the weight before lowering his body gently to the ground.

Standing once more I looked down at his body. "I am sorry that I was not sent far enough to save you from this fate Finn. Safe passage on your travels until our final journey to the ground."

I then turned and left the clearing heading to the tent where I knew my mother would find me soon.


	4. Remember Me

Thank you so much to everyone reading my story! Also super thanks to the two people that pointed out the blood thing. Lexa, Indra, and Gustus know about but no one else did and I didn't really show the rest of the grounders reacting to that new bit of news.

Extremely sorry for the delay. I have been really busy with school, work, and then working on my other stories. When the Fog has Lifted newest chapter has worked its way up to over 12,000 words and was very close to reaching 13,000. I finally finished it and was able to once more work on this chapter for you guys. I truly am sorry for how long it took to complete but this chapter is over 14,000 words making it my largest chapter yet. This really is my favorite story to write so far so expect most chapters to be average over 10,000 words.

I own nothing.

* * *

Chapter Four

I throw myself down on the bed and close my eyes allowing myself to relax and I sink further into my mind, only to find myself in a massive hall that I easily recognize as the throne room in Polis. Lexa's throne was in the middle, but it was not Lexa sitting in it but Becca.

"Becca? How the hell did I get here?" my voice was hard as steel, and it was also easy to hear the confusion.

"Beware of how you speak to the first," a low deep voice growled out.

Then I finally notice that there are more chairs that all together make a U shape. The left side was all women and the right were all the men, making a total thirteen chairs in total with a fourteenth one that was charred and burned. There were only four women to the left of Becca, one was empty, and then one beyond that was the burned. The thrones to her right were all filled with men. Many covered in war paint or tribal marking with a few with the Azgeda scars.

"I speak the way I want. What is this?" throwing my arm out around the whole room. I only felt slightly relaxed because at least I was able to somehow bring my knives with me.

The man slowly rose from his throne only to sit back down when Becca raised her hand. "Farkas be still. She does not know what this is. Clarke these are the past Commanders here before you. Every man and woman who was my successor after my passing is here seated before you. Everyone this is Clarke of the Sky People she is the one brought back to make sure that the disaster that is brought by Ontari doesn't come to pass."

A red-haired woman that had blue war paint covering the entire right side of her face stood up swiftly from her throne that was situated next to the empty throne and marched down to me and began to slowly walk around me, looking me over from head to toe. Then began to grip my arms, squeezing my biceps, triceps, and touching parts of my back. The more she inspected me the angrier I became. I did not like this woman touching me and the more she continued to touch me the angrier I felt, even though I knew that I shouldn't I was close to snapping and attacking her. The woman's hand then finally reached for my face and I wrapped my fingers in a steel-like grip around her wrist. "Stop touching me."

A vicious smirk slowly fell across her face. The woman finally stepped back and once pulling my hand off of her wrist turned around and sat down on her throne looking thoroughly amused at my discomfort. My eyes instantly focusing on the silver ax that flashed into existence into her hands once she sat "My name is Mjorll and I am the 12th Commander. The first explained how you came to be here but you will not last long if you do not get stronger. Guns are a disgraceful way to fight," she waved her hand distastefully at the last statement.

"Ignore her she just has a spear shoved up her ass. She took the lessons from Titus to heart, while I, on the other hand, felt they were useless. Love can certainly come in handy," the man's eyes were slightly crazed as he wagged his eyebrows. He looked to be in his late 20's and had grey hair as well as a dark grey beard. Resting next to the armrest was a 5-foot long spear with a wickedly jagged blade at the end.

"My name is Sheogorath and I am the 11th Commander," the slightly crazed man spoke. His throne was the outside throne on the right side. The man beside him stood was so pale in color that he almost looked like a ghost and had dark shadows under his eyes.

"I am known as Vilkas and I am the 10th Commander," then sitting once more when he was done speaking, hand instantly going to the head of the sword that was leaning against his throne.

The woman sitting next to Mjorll then rose from her seat, lifting her sword into the air as though she was saluting me. She was as pale as Vilkas but not so much in a sickly way as him, as well as having the markings of Azgeda and if that hadn't given away her being from the Ice Nation it would have been her whitish armor. "Ai laik Lydia kom Azgeda and I am the 9th Commander," her voice rang with strength. She then lowered her sword taking her seat once more.

The man sitting next to Vilkas then rose from his seat and standing with a massive Warhammer. The man was built similar to Aric and had to be over six and a half feet tall, his biceps easily the size of my head. The need to take a step back and grab my swords was instant and hard to force back. His skin tone was darker than Lincolns and had the same style of hair as him as well, with tribal tattoos that covered every part of his visible skin. The man slammed his weapon against the stone floor with force, the sound echoing around the throne room. "I am Delvin and I am the 8th Commander," taking his seat with a huff once done as though he had done a great chore with that simple act.

The next man to stand up had even darker skin than Delvin. It looked like he was painted as dark as the night sky. His eyes so dark they looked almost black. The marking of Azgeda covered his face and instantly alarm bells began to go off. This man was far more dangerous than Delvin ever was. "My name is Fallion and I am the 7th Commander," then sat once more. Even this was graceful and just because he was sitting mean that I felt better I didn't. His armor was light and he seemed to be almost covered in knives and daggers.

The next to stand was a woman whose dark blonde hair was pulled back into braids, the sides shaved down to the skin revealing tattoos that crashed like those of a wave. She looked almost like Anya did and even had her war paint done in the same style as her. Hanging from her back I could the top of a double-edged war ax. "I am Jordis and I am the 6th Commander."

I was convinced that she was related to Anya in some way. The eye color and slightly lighter hair, she was almost a spitting image of her and it caused a sharp pain to fly through my chest again at the thought that I had not been able to send back far enough to save her but I was pulled from my thoughts once more by the next man to stand. He strangely had all white hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. He was slimly built and like many of the Commanders in front of me had little to no armor. A large longbow was leaning against his throne, his eyes following mine. "I am one of the few who find joy in being able to use a bow. My name is Fanzdal and I am the 5th Commander."

"That is to true. You just sit back and fire away while some of us like to bash the other persons face in!" The man sitting next to Fanzdal suddenly shouted as he shot up from his throne, grabbing a staff as he rose. "I am the 4th Commander and my name is Cicero. I am the only Commander who was skilled enough to defeat my enemies with just a bow staff. You may call me by my name Cicero," he accented his words by swinging the staff in a smooth arc over his head before slamming the end onto the floor. His body slightly crouched, my body instantly shifting into a defensive position, pulling my knives from my vambraces as his deranged smile shifted to a vicious sneer.

"You'll do," the sneer then changing to a large grin. The confusion must have shown on my face because Becca smiled slightly at me. Cicero laughed as he turned and almost threw himself down into his chair as he continued to smile at me.

"He does that with everyone. He feels that if you don't do what you just did then you aren't worth his time."

"Ya, he never spoke a single word to me the entire time I was Commander because I just stared at him," Sheogorath spoke up with a frown on his face, as he picked at the blade of his spear.

"You need to always be ready! Constant vigilance! That's the reason you died because you just stood there."

"Be quiet! We have more pressing matters," it was the same voice who had reprimanded me for cursing at Becca. The man finally stood to his full height. He was just as tall as Delvin but not as broad, but his arms were still just as massive. His left hand gripping his massive claymore. The sword was almost five and a half feet long.

"My name is Farkas and I am the 3rd Commander. Explain to me something Clarke. Is what you speak true with how you feel for Lexa?" his hair was a dark brown color and had striking green eyes. They were eerily familiar before he smirked as he was watching me trying to figure it out and that was when I realized where I had seen it before and determination filled my entire being.

"Her death will never happen. I would rather die than let it come to pass once more," gripping my daggers tighter, his gaze relaxing at my words.

"Good. She is the last of my kin. I have already dealt with the one who followed you here and I do not think you would wish to join her," his green eyes darkened as he gazed over to the burned and destroyed chair. I had wondered what had happened and can only guess that he somehow had gotten rid of Ontari.

"Wait! Ontari followed me back? What happened to her?" fear coursing through my veins at the thought of Lexa meeting that monster.

"Do not worry Farkas took care of that diseased ridden child. She has been twisted into a sick monster and has been since she was a child. You should have been the next Commander but the First has given you a gift that I know you will not squander," the woman had light brown hair with three lines running diagonally across her face as her war-paint and attached to her back I could see the twin swords. Farkas grunted his agreement before reclaiming his seat.

"My name is Aela and I am the Second. It is good to know that you will bring the change needed to prevent the disaster that became your time," her voice was soft, and it was an interesting combination to see out from a woman who looked so fierce.

Placing the daggers back in their sheaths, I bowed my head deeply before raising once more. "It is an honor to meet all of you. I will not fail you, this I swear," Becca seemed pleased with how everything was going but I was still confused and scared about Farkas mentioning Ontari being here.

"Lexa didn't meet Ontari did she?" I bite out her name. Her name tastes foul coming from my mouth, as fire burns through my veins at the thought of that woman anywhere near Lexa. When the mountain falls and Queen Nia tries to overthrow Lexa, Ontari will be with her. I know that if I see her that I will kill her. The consequences of that action be damned because Ontari had turned out to be far worse than Nia.

"No, we did not let that natrona see Lexa. She was greatly confused when she noticed the burned throne, and it was quite funny," Becca laughed slightly.

"You can take that traitors throne. When I pretended to attack Ontari, she called me a barmy old fool. Which I think wasn't very nice. I mean I'm crazy, not barmy. Just so uncalled for," Sheogorath released a high-pitched cackle before his face smoothed out once more.

"You can take her throne. It belonged to you and not her. If you hadn't been caught then by all rights you would have commanded the flame," his voice slightly pleaded.

"Why should I do that? I don't want to take anything from Lexa and this is the one thing that I feel is keeping her remotely safe. What if she decides that she doesn't deserve to be Commander anymore? What if she decides that there can only be one and she kills me? I wouldn't fight back! I'd die before I hurt her," I swore to them. Determination flooding my body.

"That is not what we are saying. Accept that you are one of the Commanders. You may have done this to see Lexa once more, but you are now once more leading your people Clarke. You once more are preparing your people for a war against the mountain instead of just trying to keep them safely hidden. You will keep the next war from happening. We believe in you and already Lexa admires you more than she did the first time you were here."

"She watched you fight and win against her top two guards and generals. She gave you weapons, armor, and plans to give you the black warhorse you seem to favor. Lexa from the first timeline is hidden deep within her Clarke and she is feeling the imprinted emotions for you. That is why she bolted from the tent when you were speaking with Aric. Keep on this path Clarke. Save Gustus. She needs him more than she ever admitted to you. He is the closest thing she had to a father and his death hardened her heart more than even you know. Make sure he does not make the same mistakes," Becca spoke calmly before raising her hand and pushing it toward me. The world narrowed into a funnel, colors flashing before I was forced back into my own body to my mother just walking into my tent.

* * *

I didn't move from my spot on the bed as she slowly crosses the room before landing heavily onto the cot next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder and pulling me deep into her side. I rested my head on her shoulder and allowed her presence to wash over me, eyes burning slightly as I relaxed further into her side. Her hand lightly running through my hair, as my arms slowly pulled her closer to me. Her comforting scent continuing to wash over me. Releasing another sigh, I gave her one last squeeze before releasing my tight grip.

"He killed so many people mom and I know that I have as well but I would never do something like what he has done. I would never kill a child," my words coming out as a harsh whisper.

"I don't necessarily agree with what you did but you are right. I took the time to think over what you told me earlier. I didn't make the agreement with the Commander. I was elected by those on the Ark in space and then came down here and acted like nothing changed but in reality, everything was different. Now my daughter who I sent down is a leader, one I know that can make the harder decisions. I don't know what happened in the last couple of days but you don't seem the same. I could tell something was off when you walked into the dropship and I know you might not want to talk about but just know that if you want to talk then I will be here to listen to you," gently kissing my the crown of my hair and continued to run her hands through my hair before stopping and grabbing my chin and forcing my head to the side to look at the cut across my face. Fingers digging deeper when she noticed how my blood was now black instead of red. The understanding switched to quick fury at sight of the injury.

"Are you sick? What happened?! Who did this to you!" the small bag that she strapped to her waist was ripped open and she already had out hydrogen peroxide. "Close your eyes," was my only warning before the cloth she had poured the liquid on was lightly cleaning my face. I grit my teeth as fire ripped into my face, part of me wishing I had just gotten cut instead of this. A few more minutes and she had cleaned the wound. Her eyes so dark with anger they looked almost black and I swallowed heavily.

The threaded needle then entered my vision when I opened them slightly, quickly shutting my eye because I still hated getting stitches. "Clarke explain this to me right now," she gave a particularly sharp tug on the stitch she was working on.

"It has to do with how you noticed I seem different. It is a good thing. It quickens the healing process. The cut is from Gustus, we were fighting," I whispered the last part because I knew she was going to pissed. Even in the future she always got upset when I put myself in unnecessary risk.

Her hands stopped, and I cracked open my eye to meet her livid glare. "What do you mean you were fighting Gustus?"

"Well, it wasn't just Gusts. I fought Indra as well…" my eyes looking anywhere but in her eyes. Instantly I noticed that Gustus was standing at the entrance of my tent with a satisfied look stretched across his face as he grabbed his jacket again.

"Who just so happens to be here right now…" I say as I try to pull my face away from my mother's hand only for me to stop when her fingers dig into my chin.

"You will stay still till I am done with this, Clarke," her tone was layered in steel and I felt my back straighten unconsciously. She had only ever used that tone of voice with me when I was in trouble and she was aggravated. I did not get my hardheadedness from my father but from my mother. Jake Griffin was easy to manipulate when it came to the wishes of his wife and child, but Abby was an entirely different story. No matter how large I forced my eyes or cried, when she was set on something she didn't back down.

I rolled my eyes, ignoring how her grip tightened before she started to the bottom half of the stitches. Gustus walked further into the tent stopping to lean against the wood post in the middle of the tent before straightening once more when he noticed my mom was almost done with the stitches. "Heda requests your presence Sky girl but I see that you are busy."

"I will be done within another minute or two Gustus, then she may leave," my mother mumbled as she quickly and efficiently stitched the wound closed.

"Why were you and my daughter fighting?" her furious gaze did nothing to Gustus who in turn gave her a disinterested look in turn.

"We were testing her worth as your leader. If she had failed to defeat one of us she would not have been given to support of many of our people and because she has defeated both of us she is given even more respect as a capable leader. When I wounded her and those gathered saw that her blood ran black she was elevated further because for our people those that are _natblida's_ have the ability to be chosen as _Heda_. Speaking of her, you are done, and we must go speak. Please follow me," part of me was relieved to see the respect in his eyes when he looked at me. Hoping that this meant that he would not poison himself.

"Alright let's get this show on the road," I happily agreed, the stitches stretching when I grinned. I slapped Gustus against his back, causing him to give me a dark look before doing the same in turn almost throwing me to the floor before turning and leaving the tent.

Quickly following after him, taking note that my mom and Kane were both following me as I walked after Gustus. "Are you friends with him, Clarke?" Kane asked. Gustus must have heard his question because he turned back slightly to look me in the eye before looking away.

"I like to think we are. Especially after I beat his ass today. Isn't that right Gustus?" He released a gruff laugh.

"That you did but do not get too cocky because we will have another fight to see if it was just beginners luck."

He stopped in front of Lexa's tent before moving the fabric to the side and letting my mother, Kane, and I enter before him.

"Mochof, Gustus."

Gustus didn't say your welcome, but he did give me a slight head nod which was his own way of saying your welcome. I turned away from him to gaze at Lexa who looked exactly like the warrior goddess I knew her to be. Her pupils were extremely dilated in the darkness of the tent, the small fire in the center not giving off enough light to the entire floor. Lexa's eyes softened when she met my gaze before confusion flashed across her face and hardening once more.

Indra seemed to be glaring at my mother, an old memory flashing behind my eyes of her telling me that her first meeting with Indra was dodgy, she had been concerned that she was going to kill her but that didn't happen in this timeline, so Indra believed my mother to have no courage or current use. At least she wasn't glaring at me if she was I would have probably thrown something.

"Blood has answered blood. Some of those believe that this wasn't enough and wanted the murderer to suffer as our traditions demands but they do not know that your suffering will be worse... what you did tonight will haunt you till the end of your days. Still, there will be restitution. The body will be given to the people of Ton DC. Murderer and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace."

The previous memory was hazy but I swear this was the exact same thing she said before. I barely stopped myself from snorting. This little speech was in no way as intimidating as it was the first time. Kane took a step forward and the anger was easy to see on his face. Indra gripped her sword tighter and I knew that she was one of the ones who believed that I still stole their justice.

"No... No, we have done enough. The boy should be buried with his people."

And here we go. "We were owed the pain of 18 deaths. We were owned our righteous kill," Indra took a step closer.

"Be quiet, Kane. Not another word from you. Indra, I let cuts be performed. Justice was served. I am going to assume that we shall be leaving in the morning then?" I turned back to face Lexa who had her eyebrow cocked as she looked at me, her eyes seemed almost clouded over in thought before she shook her head slightly, her eyes focusing on me once again.

"Yes. Choose your attendants," she told me as stood from her throne.

"When this is over we will discuss terms and strategies of how we are going to get our people out of Mount Weather," I told her as I straightened, gripping my hands behind my back.

"Of course, Clarke. We want the same things," bowing her head slightly, not enough that it was too obvious because she kept her eyes locked on mine but I noticed and I was quick to return the gesture.

Lexa then left the tent with Gustus and Indra following close behind. Gustus seemed almost relieved to leave the room. Turning as I watched her leave, the pressure returning once more to my chest. "Clarke, you don't have to do this," my mother spoke softly to me.

I shook my head. "I do have to do this, trust me, mom. This truce will bring peace to our people and if everything works out we will secure ourselves as the 13th clan and then will be immune to attacks from other clans without fear of war," I tell her placing my hand on her shoulder giving it a squeeze, before letting go and walking out of the tent. Wanting to get some sleep before we would move out.

Movement to my left caught my attention, instantly noticing Raven leaning over Finn's body. Making my way over, rolling my shoulders a couple of times because I know that this most likely end with her trying to hit me.

"Go away," her voice watery as she spoke.

"It may not mean much to you but I am sorry. The warriors will be coming soon to take his body and then we will be going to Ton DC. You will come but I need you to work on the radio," stopping next to Finn's body.

"I said GO AWAY!" she screams as she stands, stalking over and giving me a hard shove. I was prepared for it and grabbed her wrist as she shoved and used my momentum to pull her with me, swinging our bodies around to where she landed heavily to the ground.

Raven released a scream of fury as she quickly jumped back up, only to have ass meet dirt as I gave her a hard shove. Raven started pushing herself up off the ground once more, only to be slammed back down when I placed a heavy booted foot on her chest. Raven screamed in rage as I increased the pressure.

"RAVEN!" I roared down at her. She finally stopped fighting and began to sob as she held onto my foot in her futile attempt at trying to remove it.

"Who are you crying for Raven? Are you crying for the boy who you knew on the Arc or are you crying for the boy who cheated on you and then went on to kill 18 innocent people? Tell me, Raven. It better be for the boy on the Arc who would use his own ration points on you, on the boy who you used to know because if it for the _Boy_ who was on the ground then I guess you aren't the person I thought you were," at the end Raven was shaking her head as fat tears snaked down the side of her face.

"He…he was all I had," she cried out to me.

"I don't want to be alone," she continued to cry to me as I slowly took my foot off her chest. Her breathing was slowly picking up as panic began to set in. I sat down next to her curled up body and slowly rubbed her back as all her pent-up emotions slowly released. The grounders who came to take Finn's body away just gave me a strange look and seemed greatly confused when I flipped them the bird.

After about ten minutes Raven finally calmed down enough before she shifted to where she was sitting next to me and then she punched me as hard she could from her sitting position. I was shocked when I felt the bones in my nose snap and I feel the hot liquid running down my face. My hands instantly cradling my face as I roll back and forth on the ground.

"The FUCK!" I scream.

"It's payback bitch. I am still mad but you're right. I'm mourning the Finn from the Ark. I didn't want to accept that the Finn here on the ground had changed so much and don't worry I'll work on the radio," then she stood up and slowly walked back to Arkadia, using her coat to wipe the tears from her face as she went.

I fell back onto the ground once more, trying to force back the surprising amount of pain coming from my nose. Touching the bridge of my nose and can feel that my nose is out of place before I can stop myself I automatically correct it, releasing a small hiss of pain. The pain from my nose then lowers to just a steady throb.

My arms drop back to the ground and I am spread out like a starfish on the grassy area and just stare at the sky. The sky that is so black it looks like the void, only to be interrupted by the brightly lit stars. There are millions of them, all sitting high in the sky. I felt so small at that moment. Everything that I had done in my life, felt less important my task smaller. My heart rate picking up and I was thankful for being outside.

Being indoors when this happened was never a good thing anymore, not since the time I had spent with the Azgeda warriors. Not since the week, I spent with them. Thankfully they hadn't violated me, but they had tortured me. The especially loved using water, for long periods of time they would place a cloth over my face before pouring water over it or would just dunk my head under water. My body after that was littered with scars, almost every inch was covered in stab wounds, cuts, and burns when I was finally rescued. My mind was even more scared.

I had night terrors still of that night, not as often but at least once every other month I would find myself back in that room when I woke. It was never a good thing to be near because the need to escape overpowered any sense of self. Octavia had helped especially during the early months. She would sleep in my bed, always holding my body close, whispering words of comfort.

My fingers dug into the dirt, as I allowed the dirt and the smell of the camp wash over me, slowly lessening the panic that had set in. By the time I was able to take a breath without something in my chest clenching, I was exhausted, both physically and mentally. The day had been long and I knew I had been laying on the ground for at least half an hour. The blood on my face was hard and crusty, the skin tight when I moved my face any.

Rolling up I noticed that only two grounders were in the area. Ironically, the bone mask man from the night before was there, his dark eyes trained on me or more like the blood that was staining my face. I didn't feel threatened by the gaze and when he noticed I was watching he bowed his head to me, before straightening up once more into attention, his eyes scanning the surrounding area.

I slowly forced myself up, once standing stretching my back out enjoying the loud cracks that loosened the muscles and my spine. The edge of my vision slightly fuzzy from how tired I felt. My body felt as though is being weighed down, a feeling that was only nice when I knew I could sleep for a long period of time which unfortunately was not the case here. I hurried to my tent, stripping till I was left only in my shirt before slipping under the furs and passing out.

* * *

The sudden brightness of the sun, forced me from the dream, which I was in every way grateful for. I could not remember it, but a sadness hung over me, down to my very soul along with a fiery pain that seemed to originate in my gut. I could feel the remnants of a kiss and immense amounts of guilt and a small part of me felt acceptance. The feelings were concerning, especially because I could not remember any of it only the leftover emotions and feelings. It was Indra once again that had entered my tent, in her arms was armor but not just any armor, my armor, as well as something wrapped in leather.

I jumped from my bed the sadness leaving only a dull ache in my heart, my hands reaching out to grab the armor only for Indra to take a step back. Her eyes locked on my face, swimming with a hidden anger. "Who did this to you?" she hissed out.

Then I remembered, in my sleep filled state from the night before I had not cleaned my face and now that I remembered it was easy to feel the slight ache from my nose and the tightening of my skin when I moved my mouth around, the dried blood cracking as I did so. Lightly touching my nose, a small hiss of pain escaping my lips. Indra's face tightened further into a frown, the bruising to her face as easily noticeable as mine probably was.

"Raven was upset. It's better now," I tell her with a blank face. Indra's eyes narrowed at me before she finally scanned my whole body, eyes stopping only briefly on my lower half and then I remembered I was half naked in front of her.

"Um…I am guessing Aric finished my armor then?"

Indra nodded her head, walking over and placing the armor on the bed, with a few other items, that I could only assume was the knives, before grabbing a rag dunking it into the mug of water I had near my bed and then throwing it at my face. I barely had time to catch the rag before it hit my face and going off of how tender it felt currently it would not have been fun.

Quickly using the rag, I whipped all the blood from my face, grimacing from how black and gross the previously clean looking rag now looked. Holding it out for Indra to take but she just shook her head with a slight frown, obviously not wanting the dirty rag. "Well since you now don't look you lost a fight with a wall, Aric dropped off your armor this morning to Lexa saying something about how he didn't know where you would be and that when you are free he wouldn't mind teaching you a few things. It is quite an honor for him to offer such a thing and I hope you are smart enough to accept it."

I just nodded my head before grabbing the armor, holding it up to look at it its entirety. It was exactly what I wanted and more. The man had added steel looking shoulder pauldron to both sides with the left side somehow tinted blue and the man, bless his heart had added a blue slash that was held in place by the knife holster he had somehow built into the hard leather. The sash wound down and across my chest before going up and across the back to my left shoulder. A knife already in the sheath. I pulled the knife from the sheath and lightly ran my finger across the length, taking note how sharp it was. The dagger was curved slightly at an angle with the end of the dagger being larger than near the grip. I put the dagger back before examining the rest of the piece.

My favorite part of the whole thing is that in the center of the chest the man had been able to burn in my clan's symbol. I lightly ran my fingers over the symbol and for some reason, my eyes began to water at the thought that Aric has gone above and beyond what I had wanted.

Placing the chest piece softly back on the bed, I quickly pulled my pants on and laced my boots. Indra was waiting at the front of the tent still with her arms crossed. "I did not realize how excited you would be over a simple piece of armor," she sounded truly curious and not at all condescending.

"How could I not? This isn't just some new article of clothing. No this is something that I will have for years to come. It will become a part of me," I tell her as I slowly pull the armor over my head and start working the multiple straps located on the sides, only to have Indra slap my hands out of the way.

"Stop that. I shall help and then you shall answer a question," I just nodded my head, letting her adjust and tighten every strap and when finished she pulled out a rolled leather pouch that she handed me. I was confused wondering why she would help to do such a thing, putting it on the back burner for now.

Slowly unrolling the package I was in no way surprised to find the rest of the blades, my eyes watering at the sight. The vulnerable feeling that I had been feeling at the back of my mind was lifted at the sight of these blades. Blades that I could to protect myself, blades that I would soon cover in the poison that Monty would later come to invent, something that only those in my group knew the antidote to. Originally, we had added blood to it but it seemed that those who came from the ark all had the same blood type and our blood could be given to others without adverse effects.

"Why did you end the boy's life so soon last night? I know you know the importance of Death of 1000 cuts, but yet you only allowed the people the partial retribution. So, tell me Sky Girl."

Methodically, I placed each dagger in its proper place on my back, before grabbing my vambraces. "I understand and respect your traditions, but I am not accepting torture. He will burn in the after-life for his sins."

"What do you mean by that?" now she sounded confused.

"In the time before the bombs there was a religion called Christianity and I read that they believed in the concept of both heaven and hell. Those who followed his tenants and commandments would be sent to heaven and those that did not, those who gave in to sin would find themselves in Hell. It was a place that is filled with hellfire and demons and you would pay for your sins in life in this place."

"That is strange. Our belief is that to release out souls you need to burn the body and if you are to detach the head then that soul will never find rest and will spend eternity trapped," her eyes seemed distance as though she herself was trapped in a memory.

Then the tragicness of what she just spoke hit me. If that was true, then many of my people never found peace. My mother never found it and little Aden certainly never would. A crack sounded from my mouth from how hard I am clenching my teeth. I had not known this. I had known that grounders would always burn the body but not as to the why. No wonder finding Costia's head had been such a tragic thing, not because her death was gruesome but that the girl that Lexa had loved with all her heart would never find peace in the afterlife.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I finally finished tying the last knot on my arm guards before slipping the throwing knives into place. Then I attached the dagger sheaths to my thighs and finally the swords that I strapped to my hips. I barely caught the dark pot thrown at me in time.

"What is this?" I ask as I open the jar, surprised to see the black war paint.

Indra snorts at my question. "You are a warrior are you not?"

Indra is being too nice and I don't understand it. She was never this courteous to me the first time around and had only acted like this after Lexa's death. "Indra, may I ask you something?" I tell her as I dip my four fingers in the paint before going from the edge of my hairline next to my eyes and go straight across, closing my eyes as my fingers sweep past going to the other side of my hairline. The paint now covered slightly above my eyebrows and covered my nose and then I carefully added six points that went to the top of my hairline. For a while in the future my war paint was worn in the same style as Lexa, but it hurt too much to see it done and to have my blue eyes glowing back at me instead of green, so I had changed it to the same as Lexa's but upside down so instead of looking like teardrops it looked like the spikes of a crown.

"That is an interesting design you have chosen. Why would you choose something like that, sky girl?" Indra's question pulling me from my thoughts of the future.

"Besides the fact that it covers my bruised ass face? I just like it," I answer, and I wipe the paint off my fingers on the cloth from earlier. You can barely tell the difference between the paint and my dried blood.

"Also, why are you being so respectful to me? I mean I did win our fight yesterday but that doesn't mean much in the long run. I mean hell Indra you brought my armor, my knives, and even gifted me a jar of war paint. I don't understand, and I don't like not knowing."

"You know that our people respect strength above all else. That if we have a weak ruler then we find a stronger one to take their place. From what I have seen you are strong. You showed skill that might match the Commanders, something that many of us cannot. You beat not only me but Gustus as well. While Gustus may be a general he is also the Commanders personal guard. I respect strength Klark kom Skaikru and you have shown that you have it. Do not betray this trust that I am giving you because once lost it shall never be returned. Now come, we need to head to Ton DC," then without even waiting for me, she marched out of the tent.

I marched out of the tent and followed after Indra till I reached the horses, confused to see the four horses saddled and ready to go. The forth was the massive black Clydesdale horse that I had been riding the last time I was in need of a horse. The black stallion noticing me trotted over and pushed his head into my chest. I ran my hand over his smooth nose and up and around his face to run my hand down the horse's neck, greatly enjoying how soft his shaggy coat felt beneath my fingers.

A person walked over and just going off of how relaxed I was starting to feel, I knew it was Lexa. I smirked, as I continued to run my hand down the large horse's neck, as he released a large sigh causing him lips to flap, and I couldn't stop the small giggle and if I had turned then I would have noticed that Lexa's eyes shone brighter and a small smile crossed her face before her mask fell back into place.

I finally turned to face her, her mask firmly locked into place but thankfully not as severe as normal, but her eyes flashed with surprise when she noticed the war paint. "We will be moving out in a few minutes. I ordered Maximus brought out for you. I was told that yesterday you spent a few hours with him and he seems quite taken with you. Every leader needs a sturdy war horse."

"Thank you, Commander," I tell her respectfully with a small bow of my head, turning and grabbing hold of the horn on the saddle and pull myself up smoothly, relaxing quickly into the saddle, then noticing the saddle bags attached.

I lean down and pat Maximus's neck a couple of times. I finally take note of those around me and see that Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Kane, Raven, and my mother are once again coming. Raven was sitting on the wagon that was carrying Finn's body, and every once in a while, as we all slowly made our march toward our destination she would caste sad eyes once more on his body before going back to fiddling with the radio.

Maximus gets a little eager when I lightly tap his sides and he speeds up slightly and releases a small snort when I pull him into a walk when I am next to Bellamy, jumping off quickly so that I can walk next to him. He glances at me curiously, especially when he takes note of the size of the horse, and then his eyes widen further in size when notices the large amounts of weapons on my body. The disdain I feel for him is pushed to the side when he finally speaks.

"We need to save our friends Clarke. Not playing nice with the grounders. Though from the looks of it you might be enjoying it," his face turning into a sneer.

"Let go of your anger Bellamy, for it shall bring us nothing, and take care of how you speak to me. Tomorrow you and Lincoln will return to the reaper tunnels and you will get into the mountain. We need an inside man and I know you can do it. Once inside I need to you to find a way to get into communication with us and bring down the acid fog. Knowing Raven and how smart she is when it comes to stuff like that she will most likely have the radio-ready later today or early tomorrow morning," I tell him in my Commander's voice. No room for arguing.

"I will talk to Lincoln about it but be ready Bellamy," I tell him. He only jerks his head in response as I pull Maximus behind me, who is acting put out that he isn't actually being ridden, as I make my way over to Octavia and Lincoln.

Octavia's eyes rake across my body with envy when she sees the large number of weapons that I have stashed on my body. "Damn Princess! What'd you do to get all that?"

My smirk was large and showed too many teeth. "What would you say if I told you I beat both Indra and Gustus and because I did I won a bet against the Commander?"

Lincoln actually tripped, his eyes blown wide as he looked at me. Octavia gave me an equally disbelieving look as well. "No fucking way! I think you're lying. And what gives with the war paint?"

"Indra gave me a jar of the stuff this morning, as well as brought my completed armor and the rest of my throwing knives."

"Ok, now I know you're lying to me. No way you know how to use throwing knives," her tone incredulous.

I laugh loudly as I once more pull myself up easily into Maximus's saddle. "I'll show you later. Also, Lincoln you will be joining Bellamy and use the reaper tunnels to get him access inside. I don't want to hear about your doubts. You are a Trikru warrior. This means you are strong. If you do this you will show the others that you are once more a warrior and not a ripa," My voice ringing with certainty and that left no room to argue.

I slow Maximus down slightly, allowing me to be close to Lexa, allowing myself to enjoy being just near her presence. I was enjoying it till I heard Gustus' words to her. As terrible as it is, I agree with his words. Her alliance with my people does end up being the reason for her death as accidental as it was.

I slow down further till I am riding next to Lexa, well as close as possible because Gustus did not relinquish his position from her side. Whose eyes immediately meet mine, her eyebrow cocked in an unspoken question. "This area is beautiful. I don't know if Gustus told you, but we had nothing like this in space, especially the animals. Everything on the ark was cold, grey, and the same. When we came down we were told to go to Mount Weather," I stopped speaking at that point. I could see the fire in Gustus' eyes at the statement and how Lexa now looked suspicious.

"You can imagine our surprise when all of sudden we found out that people still lived down here. A whole civilization that had survived the bombs and is now thriving. I was amazed but also worried. Many of my people were not strong enough to survive the harsh realities of the ground. Then all of a sudden, we are being attacked on all sides. The reapers and then your own warriors on the other side. After the burning of your warriors, we were all taken to the mountain and then I found that another group of people survived," Lexa was staring intently at me, as though she was looking directly into my soul.

"I then learned that they were using your people's blood. People that were preaching how righteous they are and how all they want is to escape the mountain. That they are doing this by taking the lives of your people. I was mortified. Everything that I thought I knew was a lie. The people living in the woods were the ones that I wanted to know. The ones I wanted to make deals with, the ones that I would trust over these monsters that pretended to be human," I stopped once more as I tried to articulate all of my thoughts properly because I knew that both Gustus and Indra were listening.

"Then I was told of a Commander named Lexa. A woman who was strong and compassionate. A woman who loves her people and would do anything for them. Then I met you and I found that the stories were true. You are truly a leader of your people and will do anything it takes for the betterment of your people. What we have here will be for the better that I promise you. I may be a leader of my people but that doesn't mean I won't protect you as well. I would gladly give my life for yours because I know that you would take care of my people in my absence and keep the alliance intact," I turned back slightly to look into Lexa's eyes. Her eyes seemed distant as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts from my words.

Gustus seemed to work through his thoughts faster. "You would give your life for Heda's? Why? How can we trust that you won't turn into another Mountain?" Lexa's eyes flashed as she turned to look at Gustus. He did not seem ashamed at all in the way his questions sounded. Even if we had been getting along it did mean that I wouldn't be a dangerous enemy. A memory flashed in my mind's eye. Of mistrust, sorrowful eyes, an oath of promises of protection.

" _I swear fealty to you, Lexa kom Trikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people. This I swear in blood,"_ then I grabbed my dagger, and brought it down and across my palm. Lexa's eyes were in surprise and I could see as the respect filled her eyes once more. My chest puffing out slightly in pride. Many of the grounders surrounding us as our horses continued to walk on were all staring at me in disbelief.

I know the importance of that oath. Not caring that I might be playing my hand too soon, but I had to nip this thing with Gustus in the bud and to let Lexa know that I would do anything for her. Being in her presence would not be enough for me soon. She was mine as much as I was hers. She just didn't know it yet.

"Do you know the importance of that oath _Klark?_ " her eyes now searched mine. Gustus had allowed Lexa to move forward to have her riding next to me. Her eyes stared into my soul, as I did the same in turn. My eyes searing this vision in front of me to my memories.

"I know the importance of what I have sworn to you," my gaze hard as I stared. The steel in my voice conveying the seriousness of my oath. Lexa's eyes softened, and the edges of her lips curled up slightly in a small smile.

Lexa then turned in her saddle to look back at Gustus. "See Gustus. Nothing to fear."

"Ya big guy. In a few years' time, my people will run out of ammo and will have to learn how to actually fight. Think about all the Sky people you could train and how many you can totally demolish?"

Gustus actually laughed at my response. "That would be something I would enjoy. The only true warrior I have seen among Skaikru is you. Maybe that girl Octavia would make a good second. She seems very eager to learn our ways. I am a much better fighter than Lincoln," he seemed to let the last part slip past his lips. My eyes caught Indra's face as she slightly scowled at Gustus' statement, a part of me hoping it was because of what he about taking Octavia as a second. I knew that she was already intrigued by the woman though she had only admitted it that one time because we might have indulged ourselves in more liquor than we should have.

* * *

Lexa ordering everyone to break for camp pulled me from my thoughts of the future. When I hopped off of Maximus' back, he actually seemed greatly relieved. I laughed in his face and he blew his lips back at me. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed the reins and pulled him behind Gustus as we walked over to a small clearing and slowly took off the saddle and saddlebags, then I finally removed the bit from his mouth.

Maximus seemed to enjoy this new development and pushed his massive head into my chest. "That's a good boy," I coo at him as I run my hand down his thick neck.

"You spoil him," the gruff voice of Gustus catches my attention. Releasing a snort, I turn to him, Maximus releasing a noise of disappointment at the loss.

"I am not spoiling him," as I cross my arms over my chest.

"He is a warhorse, not a pet," he tells me after I turn back around and begin to brush him down.

"Don't pretend that you don't give your own horse sweets and praises," answering when I turn back to just cock my eyebrow at him. His face reveals nothing but he does slightly shift his weight enough for me to noticed and my smirk turns vicious.

"Do you truly promise to protect the Commander? You are not just saying this for the alliance?" I could almost hear the worry in his voice. I stopped brushing Maximus and turned to fully face him. He was once more holding the lapels of his jacket, but the worry was easy to spot in his eyes, confirming what I had just heard.

"Lexa is more important than you will ever realize Gustus. Her death will bring about an age of death that none would have imagined. I plan to protect her with everything I have, if I had to take a sword stroke for her or a bullet then I would. If I had failed to protect her again then I do not think I could live with myself," the words slipped past my lips before I could stop them but they were all true.

Gustus' stare was heavy and filled with slight disbelief. "What makes you say this?"

My eyes looked around the clearing and I noticed a couple guards who were discreetly looking in our direction. Shaking my head. "Not here," I then walked into the forest and continued for a couple of minutes, not needing to look back, knowing that he was following.

When we reached a small stream I finally stopped before sitting down on a large rock. Gustus choosing a seat next to me on the log that was also located on the bank of the small stream. "I know what you plan to do tomorrow Gustus," I spoke calmly as I watched the water babble by.

In the corner of my eye, taking notice of how he pulls something from his sleeve. "I didn't bring you out here to kill you but to explain. You know that this alliance is dangerous. Not because of the mountain men but because of Lexa's own people. The ones in particular are the Ice Nation, especially with Queen Nia in charge, though Roan will be a better ruler he will still be under the rule of Heda."

"How do you know these names?" he had relaxed somewhat but still seemed on edge.

I ignore his question as I try to form my thoughts coherently. "Queen Nia has a nightblood of her own Gustus. A foul and disturbed being who brings about the death and destruction of everything that Lexa has made. I will not fail again," the last part came out as a whisper, but he still heard me.

"I had heard rumors of a nightblood in Azgeda but had not given thought to these rumors. How do you know these things, Clarke?"

"I know because I lived this before. You are right that this alliance leads to her death. It should have been me though. Titus was aiming for me but Lexa opened the door. The bullet hit her and she died," Gustus sucking in a large breath, his eyes lightening up with fire. His dark eyes burning even darker, the pupil no longer visible. He did not say anything but kept his eyes trained on me, waiting for me to continue my tale.

"She died and then Ontari took power and brought the death of hundreds of thousands of your people, including in succeeding on destroying Skaikru. I was the last and I took the bitch down with me. I took the flame for myself and the first Commander Becca sent me back. I came back to keep Lexa alive. Her death broke me and I was not right for a long time," I was startled from my thoughts from Gustus laughing loudly. His laugh was slightly hysterical and easy to tell that he thinks I am crazy.

"Your father did not teach you to fight then?" he finally managed to ask.

I released my own laugh. "No, believe it or not, Indra did. Then I went on from there to become one of the deadliest warriors with just my blade. I was named Wanheda when I destroyed the mountain but in the final years, my title became a warning. I was feared and feared for good reason. I slaughtered many of Ontari's warriors," my eyes haunted as I continued to talk about the future.

Then he seemed to come to some conclusion. "You love her, don't you?" emphasizing the 'her.'

"I have been watching you and I have noticed the way in which you watch her when no one else is looking. How you always seem to relax in her presence. Speak true," his still haunted looking but staring intently at me.

"I love Lexa with all of my being. Her entire being draws me in. She was the reason I even have the black blood. She is the reason I took the flame from Ontari and placed it in my own neck. I wanted to be able to see her once more before my spirit passed. Just the thought of seeing her one more time was enough, and I could have died," ringing my hands as I tried to get the image of her dead body out of my mind, not realizing I was silently crying till the tears dripped onto my hand.

A large hand gripping my shoulder, causing me to jump. "This is no longer the future _Klark kom Skaikru_. You have sworn to keep her safe. Now come it is dark and I know Lexa will worry. I will keep what you have told me to myself but Heda will need to know about Ontari and the Queen," tightening his grip once more before letting go.

Standing, I turn to Gustus. "I didn't ruin my war paint, did I?" He smiles at me, the gesture showing more than I ever expected.

"I did not know you were so vain. It is fine, you worry for nothing," he joked back.

"You would worry if you were this good looking."

Gustus did not respond but I did hear him snort.

"Wait, Gustus. What you plan to do tomorrow? You won't, right? This is the reason for your death and I can't let her go through the pain of losing you."

Gustus looked down and clenched his fists. "Who became her guard after my passing?"

I closed my eyes to think. I could picture his face and his name was on the tip of my tongue. I know it started with an R. "Ryder," I exclaimed happily.

His eyes narrow. "I am a better fighter than him," were his only words. Then he turned and started walking once more to camp. I guess that was my answer.

No words were spoken as we made our way back. When we arrived back to the horses, both camps were set up, and fires made. It was how it was originally. Bellamy hustled over to me when I made to go back to the horses because I had forgotten my saddle bag. His hand grabbing my wrist, in a tight grip.

"What are you doing? Where were you?" he hissed at me. Many of the warriors around the fire were all watching, Gustus one of the few who had his hand on his weapon.

"Let go of me Bellamy," I hissed right back. His eyes glanced between the grounders, some of whom had stood, and I. He dropped my wrist like it burned. "I am going to go get my saddle bags and then I am going to go to sleep. We are leaving at first light and I am tired. Also, news flash Bellamy? Don't grab me like that again," I then turn back towards where the horses are, only to stop by Bellamy once more.

"Clarke they're dangerous. Just stay over here and I will get your bag," he told me as he already started to move. My response was automatic, and I slapped him over the back of the head hard, Bellamy releasing a small grunt from in surprise and pain.

"What the hell, Clarke?"

"I'm not a child nor am I weak. I don't need you to do anything for me. What I need you to do is get your head out of your ass. We are in an alliance with these people. They are a hell of a lot better than the Mountain Men. I don't want to hear you disrespect them again in my presence. Do you understand me?" I seethed out.

Bellamy's eyes widened in surprise at my order. His eyes continued to look back and forth between the warriors behind my back and me. He finally ground his teeth and nodded before turning and walking away.

"God I don't have the patience for his shit right now," I mutter before I walk over to my items still on the ground before walking back to the clearing and setting my stuff on the ground. I slowly untied the bindings that were keeping my swords attached to my hip, placing down next where my head would be when I slept.

Finally, I sat down on the ground and opened the saddlebags. I was in no way surprised to find the stone used to sharper weapons. Pulling that out and placing it in my lap before, digging around once more in the bags and finding a full water bladder and dried jerky. Munching on the jerky, I started to slowly undo all the buckles. As much as I would prefer to sleep in it, I knew it would safe to remove and let me get a good night's sleep. The hard ground no longer depriving me of a decent night's sleep.

I carefully pulled the eight daggers off of my back before placing them in the leather roll, each knife sliding into its place. Finally, I pulled the hard leather off but leaving on my vambraces, then slowly sharping the swords to a deadly edge.

Then I slowly stood and began to stretch my limbs, especially my legs. When noticing no one watching me, I took off into the forest at a steady jog, not seeing the green eyes watching me intently from the entrance of her tent. I needed to become stronger and sitting down wasn't going to do it. I wouldn't come back until at least 3 hours later after doing different strength training exercises many of them looking like a dance as I twirled my daggers.

* * *

The next morning came about quickly and once more everyone was moving. I was terribly sore, and I won't lie, this was terrible. I hadn't been sore in years and this body was terribly weaker, than from the future. The three month's I spent in the woods after the fall of the mountain, was an important step in priming my body. I had lost all of my baby fat and was able to start the muscles that I would later build upon. Thankfully I didn't have to relearn any of the skills, but my muscle memory was utter shit and damn that was already proving to be annoying.

Lexa seemed to get tenser the closer we came to Ton DC. It wasn't until I had gotten off Maximus that I remembered that I couldn't bring in my weapons and I could already feel the anxiety starting to build.

Lincoln brushed past as he went to go place his dagger in the bucket. "We need to disarm before we can enter."

Everyone slowly put all their weapons in the bucket till I was the last and I was starting to feel my heart rate increase but when Gustus stood in front of me he seemed to understand, and his eyes softened. I walked over to Maximus and dug around in the saddle bag till I found the leather wrap and I placed all the daggers into their slots before I placed it in the bucket. Then I pulled the large dagger from my chest strap.

The guard from the village to Gustus' right eyes widened as he slowly watched me take all my weapons off. Finally, I pulled the two daggers from my thighs and then undid the leather straps holding my swords and placed them in the bucket.

"I want these back," I warned Gustus.

"Of course, Sky Girl," he chuckled at me before reporting to Lexa that we were all clear.

The villagers reacted the same way as they did the first time but this time I could understand the words that the villagers were shouting and was honestly happy that I had self-control because when the man had stepped in front of the Commander and started spouting off how my people were murderers I was pissed. It was one man who killed their villagers and he paid the price.

When Gustus walked forward and began to beat the man, I rushed forward to Lexa. We already were going to have enough problems with the people because of Finn's actions and having the people hate us, even more, was worse.

"Commander, stop him. They'll blame us for this too," I pleaded with her. The only one I would ever plead to.

" _Teik em kik raun,"_ her voice pulling Gustus to a stop, dropping the man to the ground, before others rushed forward to pull the man away.

Lexa stepped forward before turning and speaking to all of the people present, her voice hard as she spoke. Her words and orders final.

"The Sky People march with us now. Anyone who tries to stop that will pay with their life," her eyes seemed to grow brighter. My breath catching at how even now she looked beautiful, but it was still too soon. She didn't speak to me yet in a soothing voice, but I was patient.

* * *

" _Kru kom Tondisi. Raun faya, oso woda kiln loudness-de kom foutaim,"_ he words were somber and I was trying to keep my eyes on her instead of all those wrapped in leather that was placed on the pyre. Trying to not focus on the smaller bodies and the pain that accompanied that knowledge. To not think of the man from earlier whose wife and child was about to be burned.

My name being called from her lips pulled me from my morose thoughts. My eyes leaving hers to take in the flame. I walked forward with my back straight and my head held high, remembering that I was a leader and that I had already been showing to many emotions already. I took the torch, taking in the calm that Lexa was exuding during this time.

" _Yu gonplei ste odon,"_ my words spoke loudly for all to hear and then I placed the lit torch to the wood, as it quickly lit. The fire hissed and crackled as I took a step back and let the fire wash away a mistake that I wished I could have rectified. The wish that I could have at least seen Lexa's pyre, to whisper my own words of farewell instead of the hasty ones I did. To have had told her that I had loved her. That the pain of losing my father and having lost Finn was nothing in comparison to the pain I felt at her death. That it felt as though someone had reached into my chest and was squeezing my heart in their fist.

Lexa and I were the last ones to stand by the pyre, the only thing remaining was burned wood and the smoke still heavy in the air. I was not looking forward to the what Lexa was about to disclose to me. I know that she hated to bring up Costia, that talking about her brought her a lot of pain and though she said she stopped caring it was a lie. One that she still told herself to make herself feel stronger about the entire situation but a lie all the same.

"I lost someone special to me too," she told me. I pulled myself from my thoughts and allowed her to weave her sad tale.

"Her name was Costia," I listened closer to the way she spoke when hearing the slight hitch in her voice. She took another deep sigh before she continued.

"She was captured by the ice nation whose queen believed she knew my secrets," her words were soft and I knew was not only because there were others around the area that could listen in.

"Because she was mine…they tortured her…killer her…cut off her head," I watched as her hand tightened ever so slightly over the pommel of her sword, my own hands clenching as I felt the need to comfort her. The need to tell her to accept the pain not for weakness but for a love lost.

"I'm sorry," I tell her. The sympathy heavily laden with my words.

"I thought I'd never get over the pain…But I did," her words sounding almost heavy as she spoke the last part.

"How?" my heart already hurting knowing the next words she would speak.

"For recognizing for what it is. Weakness," Lexa turning her head to finally look at me. Her eyes almost soft but I could pass it to the pain that she was trying so desperately to hide but I had learned how to read her.

"What is? Love?" I managed to question because I know she needed to get this out because she thought she was helping to make me a stronger leader, to make me more like her but what she didn't know is that I was. I had closed my heart to all and except for my people. The only love I allowed was the love I had for her and my people.

Lexa nodded her head, confirming her thoughts to me. "So you just stopped caring…about everyone?" she only nodded her head once more.

"That's a lie, Lexa. I can see it, no matter how hard you try to hide it. I can see, all of those that you care about," I tell her after she turns her head back to burned and charred wood still on the ground.

"You're wrong. You need to accept this Clarke because if you don't then you put all those you care about in danger. The pain will never go away. Remember the dead are gone and the living are hungry," she spoke the last words with slight disdain before turning to walk away.

My hand reached out and grabbed a hold of her arm. Her eyes lit up with anger at my touch and I ignored the pleasant feeling coursing through my arm touching her. My eyes searching the surrounding area for those that were near and after not seeing anyone listening I spoke. "You lie to yourself, _Leska_. _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes._ Love lets us fight harder to protect those we care about. If something were to happen to any of those that I love, I would destroy anyone and everyone to bring them back or get my vengeance," my last words spoke with such a fierceness that Lexa's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing once more.

"Let go," she hissed at me. I only increased my grip on her arm once more.

"Stop lying to yourself Lexa," angrily replying back. Then I released her arm. I could see the anger at being called a liar before they softened, and she relaxed slightly.

"It is not a lie if it is true Clarke," her words spoken in a strange softness that I had only heard at one other time.

"Just think about it, please Lexa. You would not be such a great leader if you did not have love in your heart," my words almost pleading.

She turned away from me and my shoulders sagged in defeat, only for my attention to be garnered when she turned her head back to me. "I will, Clarke but I make no guarantee," then she continued walking away. Pleasure ran through my body at the thought of how much better that went than it might have.

* * *

Walking into the room where the feast would take place, I couldn't help but notice all of the armed guards inside the room. The want to laugh popped up when I noticed how much larger Gustus was compared to Lexa.

Lexa still seemed contemplative but allowed her face to relax into a neutral expression when she noticed my heavy stare. My eyes leaving hers to look at Gustus who simply nodded his head in greeting at me and part of me relaxed. Looking to left my eyes met Indra's who still looked like she had a spear shoved up her ass and I just smirked at her, enjoying how her eyes narrowed at me.

I finally stopped and allowed Kane to present the vodka to Lexa as our gift.

"Please accept this gift, commander. We drink this at special occasions. I believe this qualifies," his face was lit up in a smile. I can still remember how excited he used to be when it came to learning anything he could when it came to those on the ground. He held the opaque bottle out for Lexa to take but still seemed happy enough to give it Gustus. Whose eyes instantly found mine before handing it to Lexa.

"Thank you, Marcus of the Sky People," she sounded very diplomatic.

"Your welcome, Lexa… _kom Trikru_."

I couldn't stop the large smile that spread across my face when he spoke trigedasleng.

"Just make sure not to drink too much of it," he joked. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Clarke, let us drink together," her expression softened, and I couldn't help but smile just a bit wider at that.

"It would be my pleasure," I reply in an equally soft voice. I watched Lexa's slim fingers pull the cork and her pour the liquor into two separate cups before handing me my own, before placing the cork back once more.

"Heda, let me," Gustus' voice broke my appreciation. He took a small sip and gave me a small smile afterword letting me know that everything was going to be ok. I barely stopped myself from releasing a sigh.

Lexa raised her glass in a toast. "Tonight, we celebrate our peace. Tomorrow, we plan our war…To those, we have lost. And to those we shall soon find," when Gustus didn't throw himself forward onto the table I downed my glass, greatly enjoying the slight burn as it went down.

A small laugh escaped my lips as I watched as her face contorts into a sour visage. She narrowed her eyes at me and I couldn't help but laugh again. "It's quite good isn't it," I smirk, too many teeth showing.

She then opened up the bottle once more before pouring herself another shot only to down it quickly without changing the expression on her face, but I was able to notice the slight red starting to creep up her neck. I laughed loudly and even Gustus smirked at the almost childish actions of his Commander.

"Please sit," she spoke politely before she sat, all grounders quick to follow. Releasing a sigh as I sat, the muscles that were sore and tight feeling the slight relief from sitting. Lexa cocked her eyebrow at me.

"Why the sigh? Are you not happy with the food?" as she gestured to the vast amount of meats, berries, and loaves of bread spread across the massive table, warmth slowly heated up my cheeks. The war-paint not covering my red cheeks going of the smirk that slowly spread across Lexa's face.

"The food looks delicious," I tell her as I slowly pop one of the dark red berries into my mouth, enjoying the slightly tart flavor, before grabbing another one. Lexa smirk fell as I continued to eat the berries and gave me a small smile.

The night continued on, those on my side slowly started opening up and talking more with the Trikru. The same going for Lexa's side of the table as well. The longer we continued to sit around the table the more relaxed I became. This might have also been because as the night wore on, many started to change seats and I had ended up sitting between Lexa and Gustus, most of the night discussing different guns that we had, as well as which weapons were best.

This slowly broke down into, a very intense conversation about whether his sword was better than my knives. This slowly drew Lexa into the conversation and she agreed with me while my daggers were good in close quarters, the sword that Gustus uses would deal massive damage when it connects.

As the night wore down, Raven come over and informed me that she finally fixed the radio, which then forced me to go and tell Bellamy that he would be leaving tomorrow with Lincoln. I hoped that this time would end up just as successful as it did in the original time lime. When I came back, I was able to talk to Lexa once more.

"Is everything in place, _Klark_?" her eyes didn't meet mine but were on her hands as she fiddled with her dagger.

"Yes, tomorrow Lincoln and Bellamy will be making their way to the reaper tunnels and find their way inside. It will work and once that damn Acid fog is down we can get our people back," my eyes never leaving Lexa's slim fingers, a small shudder going down my spine at the thought of what those fingers could do.

"Lexa, we need to be extremely careful about everything we do from this point on. I know that they are already watching us, waiting for us to fight each other but obviously, that is not going to happen now that the alliance is in place," I tell her as I drum my fingers on the table, my eyes staring ahead blankly.

"Obviously not," she spoke, chuckling lightly.

"That mountain still has missiles and I don't want to put any of your people or mine in danger," the screams of that time ringing loudly in my ears. The cries of that white horse as it galloped quickly past me. I can still remember finding the once proud animal, much of the animal was burned and was still crying out in pain.

A strong hand grabbing my hand in theirs pulls me from my dark and morose thoughts. The fingers are slim, the slight scattering of scars across the knuckles, and some feeling that I haven't felt in years is slowly spreading from where the fingers touch. My heart that had been steadily beating faster, starts to slow down, and my chest doesn't feel as tight. A smile slowly comes across my face as I look up to meet concerned green eyes.

"You stopped listening and you looked as though you were panicking," she spoke softly to me, as her eyes continued to look around the room, making sure no one had watched my small moment of weakness. Thankfully the only one who seemed to be paying any attention to me was Gustus, who looked equally concerned.

"I lost myself in my thoughts. I did not mean any disrespect to you, Lexa," my voice showing my gratitude, in a way my words did not.

"It is fine. We all have those moments, even I do sometimes," her eyes soft and filled with a deep understanding. Then she let go of my hand and the feeling that had been slowly spreading through my veins disappeared and I wasn't able to stop the sigh that slipped past my lips at the loss of contact.

"Let us get some sleep. It is late and many of your own warriors have already gone to bed," my eyes widening in surprise at her words as I looked once more around the room. I noticed that only Octavia was left and the only reason she was still here was most likely because Lincoln was still seated at the table and he was talking to Nyko.

"You are right," I tell her as I stand before her. Reaching my hand out Lexa gripped my forearm in a tight grip before letting go, trying hard to not let my disappointment show. I quickly left the room before Lexa, not caring that I was showing my back to her. Once I was out in the open, I rolled my shoulders lightly as I quickly left the village, grabbing my weapons as I went before breaking out into a steady jog.


	5. Survival of the Fittest Part I

I LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU WHO FAVORITE AND FOLLOW THIS STORY! YOU ARE AMAZING AND SPECIAL! I truly love all the comments that y'all leave me. It always puts a smile on my face to open the thing up and see that I have more comments. I was pleased when I noticed that someone commented on where I got all the names of the previous commanders from. Skyrim is one of my all-time favorite video games.

I have a playlist that has over 400 classical songs that rang all the way from Beethoven to themes from shows. I was in the middle of writing a 10-page paper and the Clexa theme from season 3 came on and I literally stopped everything and just got really sad. I don't know whether to be proud or sad that I knew the song within 5 seconds of the opening sounds.

Also going to start another story and I know many will not read it so it won't be too long but it will have a woman named Mal who is the twin sister of Clarke. She was placed in the skybox at the age of 9 because she attacked a guard because he talked about how she was meaningless and should be forgotten or floated. The skybox brakes off and lands in Azgeda. She meets the Queen and forms a close bond with Ontari. The story picks up in Season 3 Episode 2.

I own nothing!

* * *

Chapter Five

Clarke was once more leaving the village before she went to sleep. I had snuck out of my tent the previous night to follow Clarke after I had watched her leave the safety of camp. It was not easy to follow her under the cover of darkness, especially because she spent almost an hour running at a steady pace but soon became clear that she was running in an extremely large circle around the camp. Close enough to be able to be there if something happened but far enough away to not have the camp within sight. It was easy to tell that she was training and working to increase her speed and endurance. That was certainly one thing I had noticed from her fight with both Gustus and Indra was that she became tired very quickly. It was easy to see the annoyance on her face as she fought with all of her strength and speed which wasn't much. If she had not won the match against Indra so quickly and Had decided to prolong it then she would have lost.

Once she was done with running, Clarke began to do a cycle of exercises. The first thing was a series of push-ups, then moving onto sit-ups. After this was done she worked on a series of kicks, then moving onto a series of punches. It did not look like she was trying to get stronger but as though she was trying to keep her form constant, by starting out slow and then slowly gaining speed for each set.

It was strange to watch this because from the knowledge that I had gained about her showed that she did none of these things. The few times that they had spoken about this leader, it was how she was a healer and not a fighter. She wouldn't risk any of her people and to make matters stranger all of the previous Commanders told me to trust her, that she would do everything in her power to protect our people and do what was best. In the four days that I had known her, a strange emotion would fill me. Longing would swell in my chest, the want to give her gifts, and the need, not the want but the need to hold her would almost overwhelm me. These feelings put me on edge and I made sure to try and spend as little time in her presence as possible hoping that such feelings would go away but they haven't and seemed to just grow the longer time passes. It also did not help that I was having dreams but when I awoke I could not remember anything from them but the occasional cold laughter and always the strange pain in my shoulder and across my chest.

She was an interesting leader though, it was strange that she had known what was needed to gain the respect that would elevate her to a leader. She had personally delivered that boy Finn to me. His name filling me with disgust knowing that he had killed all those people for her. The look she had on her face once I had given her my terms was one of disgust. Fear went down my spine till I realized it was not because of my request but because of that boy.

The flash of silver pulled me from my thoughts and that was when she began to almost dance and I was awestruck. Her skill was amazing, something she should not know how to do because it looked as though she had spent years working on her skill with a dagger.

During the fight she had used her swords the entire time with considerable skill but this? The cycles that she ran through began with just one knife in her right hand before switching to her left, then finally using two daggers at the same time. I wanted to go down and work with her. My skill with a dagger seemed to be almost below hers, but my true skill with daggers lied in throwing. My aim was impeccable and was a boon when fighting more than one opponent.

Then a quick flash of a memory swam through my mind of myself throwing a dagger into some man's arm before looking away into fear ridden blue eyes. This was occurance that had started to occur since Clarke had first walked into my tent. I have repeatedly asked the previous Commanders what they know about this but have never received an answer. The one thing that truly worries me is that I will sometimes get a look of deep sadness from the first Commander Becca. This only brings thoughts of worry and a slight sick feeling in my stomach.

Another hour passed like this before she finally stopped. Her light-colored shirt was now dark, and she was panting heavily. What was truly odd though seemed to be that she was extremely aggravated and not truly satisfied. Slowly she completed a series of stretches before finally taking a drink from her water cannister, and some dried jerky that I know came from the food I had placed in her saddlebags.

Finally, she seemed to stretch her back a little before looking around the clearing, panic setting in when her eyes seemed to find mine. She had not looked in this direction of tree the entire time but instead of coming over to investigate she just shook her head and made her way back to camp. I was quick to return to my tent silently make inside without alerting anyone to my absence.

My dream that night was strange, much of it spent running from something I could not see or hear but just knowing that something was coming for me. I woke up feeling deeply unsettled and tried to speak to the others but I received no warnings or comments from the previous Commanders and had a feeling that knew a lot more than what they were letting slip. For some reason great uncle Farkas had a self-satisfied grin on his face when I had asked about the burned throne. All of the Commanders had been tight lipped about it, it had been awhile since I had felt that frustrated.

The day had passed quickly and before I knew it we had made it Ton D.C. and finally we were standing in front of a burned pyre. The smoke slowly rising from the charred pieces of wood. Her eyes were deeply pained as she stood next to me. The small verbal spar that ensued was not what I had expected, especially when she pointed out something that I knew but did not wish to accept. Of course, I will not admit that being told I was a liar was one of the few things that never settled well with me. Then she grabbed me, something that would usually end with a swift punch to the face, but I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing to her. This unfortunately did nothing well for my already fiery temper. In the end, the promise slid past my lips before I could stop it.

The feast that followed went extremely well and I was pleased to see how well both _Skaikru_ and _Trikru_ got along with each other. The fight that ensued between Gustus and Clarke over whether her knives were deadlier than him with his sword was quite comical but that might have been because if Clarke had used her knives in her fight instead of swords, she might have had an increased chance of beating him. Gustus had the strength but he was not as fast as he wished he was. Though I did explain that if she didn't have the speed to escape a hit then she would have almost instantly lost.

I was slightly surprised though to see Clarke leaving once more to go train because I had watched her all day and it was to tell that she was incredibly stiff and sore. Ignoring the questioning glance from Gustus, I made my way over to Ryder who was standing guard at the entrance to where I was staying while still in Ton D.C.

" _Mafta em op, ai op weron em hos of. Shil op em nat,"_ I order Ryder. He only nods his head before leaving the front gate to follow Clarke in the dark. (A/N: "Follow her, see where she goes. Protect her this night.")

Once he disappears into the night, I make my way inside my chambers, Gustus following behind me.

" _Chit's gon daun?"_ Gustus asks. (What's going on?)

Slowly I begin to work my gauntlets off, before moving onto all the buckles and straps on my coat. "She did this the previous night as well. She plans to train but I do not trust her alone in these woods. We are close to where the reapers roam and I do no wish for her to be attacked by a pack of them when she is by herself. Now I am tired and much needs to be done tomorrow. _Reshop, Gostos_ ," my last words are spoken softly, with a small smile on my face. Acknowledging the fact that Clarke was at least correct on how deeply I cared for the man in front of me.

"What you speak is true and while she is skilled, I do not think she is skilled enough to fight off a pack of reapers. Sleep well, Heda," bowing his head slightly before leaving the room, no doubt to stand guard till another comes to take his place.

Once I slip under the furs, I fall asleep quickly, my last thoughts are of Clarke.

Smoke hung heavy in my nose, my hands were gripping my swords in a tight grip. Noticing that much of my muscles were strained as though I ran a great distance, but each breath was controlled. I was leaning down and was staring into the tear-filled green eyes of a little girl, eyes who seemed to almost match mine but are only slightly darker, with blonde hair as yellow as the sun, before standing and pushing the dresser over the large hole and hearing a click. Instantly taking note that my arms were almost completely covered in many different scars. Many of them were extremely thick as though they had been reopened on many occasions and other were burned closed.

I didn't recognize where I was, but it was easy to determine that this room, was essentially in a cave. The furniture was all pushed against the walls, with random drawings hung around the room, many greatly resembled me, but I did not draw, becoming even more confused. A dark and sick feeling settled in my stomach when I saw that many of the pictures were of my face. Of course, there were many more of others, some looked like those of the Skaikru but more were simply of me. There was something very wrong here, not only because I did not know where I was, but these were memories. Memories that did not come from one of the Commanders before me because I had already witnessed all of their deaths.

Something heavy slammed against the door, and I ducked just in time to miss the chair that would have knocked me to ground. The foreign feeling rose with a vengeance. Hate, a hate so strong that red was slowly creeping from the sides of my vision. The woman who walked in was wearing my pauldron, and I could see the handle of my knife tucked away on her hip. My stomach rolled, and I felt bile rise in my throat.

"I see we meet again. You don't deserve to wear that pauldron or have the flame you _ripa_ ," words spat past my lips. The voice sounded familiar, the familiarity tingling at the tip of my tongue for a name.

The black-haired girl with the Azgeda markings just smirked as she pulled her sword. The sword that was mine, a sword that had been changed from its smooth edge to jagged spikes. The woman noticed my stare, her smile growing wider. "Do you like my weapon? I know it has been sometime since we have seen each other but surely you recognize this blade. I hope you know that I have killed many of your people with this sword. Their screams were pitiful just like the screams of your bitch mother."

The last words caused a memory to flash forward in mind of a dark blonde-haired woman with sad brown eyes, covered in cuts, tied to a pole as she closed her eyes for the last time. The woman in the memory greatly resembled Abby Griffin, Clarke's mother. My chest burned and then the body was rushing forward, the swords in my hand swinging gracefully in two different directions.

My left arm going high and my right low. The girl, Ontari, whispers filled my mind, catching my left, and jumping back narrowly missing the right. The fight was intense, but my body instantly knew what to do, finally landing a harsh kick to Ontari's chest, throwing her into the dresser. My swords coming down the left being blocked, but the right landing and cutting deep into her right shoulder. The hand twisting to sword causing the woman to groan in pain before releasing the sword and stabbing the girl with a knife that was pulled from my back.

The things that were beginning to line up from this were not looking good and the burned throne in the Commanders throne room was beginning to make more sense but it made me wonder why there was even a throne present to begin with. A strong force pushes me away and my chest is cut open by the jagged sword, the wound burning but I could not tell if it was simply from the cut or from poison that Azgeda was well known to use. My life's blood running down my heavily worn leather armor. The wound was devastating but not life threatening yet. I swung my right sword toward to woman only to have the sword knocked away.

A loud snap filled the room and pain flared from my knee, not able to stop myself from screaming. A scream that I knew I would never make only because I had been trained from a young age to never show weakness but also because that wasn't my scream. It was higher in pitch but even I had to admit the woman had hit my knee at such the right angle that my entire knee was shattered. Already even after being knocked to the ground, I could tell that I would not be able to put any weight on it. The utterly vicious smile on her face greatly reminded me of her queen.

"It seems like you are finally where you belong, on your knees before me," Ontari's voice sounding like venom, though the cracks from the pain she was in were easy to hear. Her left hand was keeping the dagger in place, in an effort to slow down her bleeding. Then ever so slowly she slowly pushed her sword through the leather of my armor. The sword going easily through my shoulder muscles. Another scream escaping past my lips as more dark black blood escaped the weakening body I seemed to be trapped in. Already I could feel every part of my body becoming heavier.

My left arm slowly reached back before shooting out and lodging a dagger firmly into her throat. Ontari lurching back, ripping the sword through my arm. The clenched fist of my right hand falling limp, as I moan in agony. I can feel tears running down my face as I feel overcome with emotion but still seem to feel hollow inside.

Hundreds of faces passing through my mind, each of their deaths ranging from suicide and sickness, all the way to being hit in the back with a large ax. The body I am in slowly pulls itself closer to the dead Heda, rolling her onto her stomach. The mark of the Commander easily spotted on her neck. A voice inside my head whispering words of longing, most of them calling my name. A deep sadness taking root in my mind. The bloody hand reaching forward and cutting along the old scar, only for the memory to stop, when the flame is pulled from the woman's neck.

"You shouldn't be here," a deeply saddened voice startles me, as I feel myself sucked from the body I was trapped in, taking note that I am back in my normal clothes. I know that it is Becca speaking to me but all I can do is take in the woman's body I was just in.

She is laying with her back against the dresser with a relieved and resigned look plastered on her face. She is a couple years older, already having some wrinkles present on her face, as though she spent too much time scowling. Scars, that still looked raw, as well as many healed over burns cover every available inch of her skin and my stomach turns at the knowledge that these scars aren't caused from a fight but by torture. The lines much to evenly spread apart and after finally getting a good look at her left arm, knew that the wound would be what ends her life.

The arm was barely holding on by a few pieces of tissue. The sword slash spread from her left shoulder to her right hip. The cut was jagged and was actually deeper than it had felt. Clarke was bleeding out quickly, already a large pool was spreading around her body, as well as the large drag mark, that was left by her body as she dragged herself over. A deep sadness seemed to be trying to crush my chest, at the knowledge that even if she had a _fisa_ with her it would be too late. I wanted to scream and cry, the need to destroy whoever followed Ontari and all who she knew.

The scene that is in front of me slowly cracking and falling away to leave behind the Throne Room of the Commanders. My eyes instantly shifting to the throne that was charred, burned, and hacked to pieces, only to be surprised to find the throne had been repaired and the sigil for the clan being that of the Skaikru.

Deep-seated worry spread through my bones, down to my very soul. All the feelings I had for the girl slipping away, realizing that she will be what comes next. It will not be Aden the most promising of my nightbloods, but I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him, or any of my other novitiates. Shaking my head, I finally turn to meet the eyes of Becca and I couldn't help but feel the slight burn in my eyes.

Cold hard acceptance coursing through my veins and curiosity at what ended my life. "What is this?" my voice is hard, trying extremely hard to stay respectful knowing that Farkas will slam me into the floor. It would not be the first time it has happened, when I had first taken the position and had lost Costia, I had reacted harshly when Becca told me that I needed to look past the hate, due to needing Azgeda to fall in line.

"That was not a memory you needed to see, Lexa. I am not sure how you were able to even view them. She did not wish for you to see what was to come to pass," Becca's voice seemed to crack near the end from deep sadness.

"What was that?" my voice almost soft. My hands clenching into fists as I tried to control the overwhelming amount of feelings that were flooding my entire being. It felt as though my entire being was in conflict with myself. The anger was boiling through my veins at feeling such strong emotions at witnessing what seemed to be Clarke's death, to not knowing why I was even witnessing such an event, and that she looked to have suffered greatly in whatever life this was.

Then to make matters worse I was feeling something that I have not felt since Costia, utter devastation. My chest was tight, and I could not take a full breath, as though my entire body was beginning to shut down. My eyes are burning, and my vision was fighting to stay clear, but I knew if I blinked my eyes then I would be crying. My next breath once more hitched and I finally took note of how it felt as though someone was gripping my heart in their hand. Feeling as though the hand was increasing its grip, slowly crushing the delicate organ. The pressure is slowly increasing as well as a sharp intense pain in my head. My brain felt as though it was pounding and I couldn't figure out why.

Finally, I relented and gripped my chest. "What is this?"

"My death," a solemn voice spoke. My eyes widened in surprise when I finally turned and sitting in what I thought to be an empty throne was now filled. Clarke's form continued to flash between her younger and older self. The changes are even more pronounced before finally stopping on her younger self. The foreign feelings that had continued to swirl through my body and mind was slowly fading away, leaving my body almost numb and finally in control.

"Arkadia was destroyed…my people slaughtered," she took a deep breath before sitting straighter, her eyes now cold as ice. The temperature seemed to slowly lower and even I could not stop the small sliver of fear that ran down my back.

"I was the last…everyone I had known and loved was taken from me," her voice not wavering.

"Clarke, who was that woman?" I already feared what she was about to tell me.

"I was the reason you died. That woman was Ontari who became the next _Heda_ ," accidently flinching at hearing the utter hatred that spat through her words. An uncomfortable feeling was forming in my stomach. What happened to my little ones? Bile churning and fighting its way up from the next words that spilled from her mouth.

"When you died Ontari the Queen's nightblood killed the _natblida's_ in their sleep _._ She sent me Aden's head because he was your favored," stopping herself from continuing from saying something further, her once bright blue eyes were now darkened in both anger and grief.

Bile gathered in my mouth and the grief that filled me weighed down heavily upon me. My hands clenching at my stomach as I continued trying to swallow all the bile that was forming in my mouth. The need to throw up slowly increasing. My little ones because they are mine, were taken in such a cruel way but why would she send Clarke his head. I had too many questions, but I pushed back all my overwhelming feelings.

"Your death is the catalyst that brought about the downfall of not only my people but yours as well," my eyes widened. A strained pained sound escaped my lips, rising from deep within my chest.

"Once Ontari took control of the 13 clans, she brought down the full might of her armies and destroyed Arkadia. 400 of my people joined me and we went to the deserts to escape the large contingent of soldiers after us. 500 had already died while in Arkadia and Pike had taken just as large a group as mine but instead of running, they fought back. His group barely it past a year," Clarke quieted once more.

"By the end of the first month, we were down to 150 people. I made it to almost five years before Ontari finally found us and you know how that encounter happened."

"I have more than one question and you will answer them all," my voice layered in steel as I stared her down, forcing back all the different emotions I was feeling. I placed down all my walls only allowing my more analytical side to show through.

"Ask away Lexa," her voice spoken calmly, which was strange to see paired with her eyes that were slightly watered over.

"Aden…" I start before changing my mind. "You said that my death was your fault. How so?"

Clarke at this question then bowed her head, looking truly remorseful.

"Titus, he believed that I was not a good influence around you. I had convinced you of _Jus nou drein jus daun_. Lexa, you welcomed in my people as the 13th clan, he believed that I was making you weak because I had convinced you to not wipe out my people when a few had decided that this was their land now, instead you had created a five-mile-wide blockade around Arkadia."

"Why? Why would I do that?" I ask incredulously, almost scoffing.

"We had become close. You had opened yourself up and had deemed Titus' lesson of _'Hodness nou laik knewlnes,'_ to not be entirely true," she was still not looking at me, but it was easy to see that she was lost in her memories. More memories that I had never or lived before seemed to almost escape past their cells. I could almost feel the ghosting of finger tips along my back with the whispering of words that I couldn't truly figure out. Clarke's grip was so hard that her knuckles were white.

"I'm glad you finally decided to ignore his teaching! I hated that man!" a crazed voice yells out. Quickly recognizing that Sheogorath is once more yelling about his hatred for Titus.

"Oh please do shut up! One more word and you'll meet the business end of my bo-staff," ordered Cicero. His head thrown back against his throne, looking to be blocking out what was happening around him.

"How did this cause my death then? He would never hurt me," I spoke harshly, ignoring how Sheogorath was opening his mouth to fire back another comment.

Clarke actually let out a small self-deprecating laugh, my insides burned at what felt like a slight. "You had invited me to stay on your side of the blockade and Titus believed that by having me stay it would put the Coalition further at risk. I was leaving though when I returned to my room in the Tower of Polis."

Finally, she looked up and there were tears in her eyes with more trailing down her smooth face. "When I opened the door, Murphy was sitting in a chair, tied up and looking as though he was beaten half to death. I had rushed forward and pulled off the gag in his mouth only for Titus to begin talking, surprising me greatly. He began speaking of how Murphy was caught stealing along one of the main roads. Which didn't surprise me in the least."

"Then he pulled a gun from behind his back and began to apologize to me that it must be done. That I needed to be out of the picture and when I told him that I was leaving Polis, he spoke of how that was not good enough that even with me out of Polis I could still influence her," her words spoken harshly. The unsteady feeling in my gut was returning as I already understood where this was going.

"He said that with me dead then you would go back to doing your duty. When I told Titus that she would know that it was him, he pointed out how it was a Skaikru weapon and she would believe that it was Murphy. He then open fired after saying he hoped you would be angry enough to declare war. Then he fired but continued to miss, obviously not used the recoil on the gun."

I could almost hear the gunshots and for some reason, all I could feel was fear, an almost uncontrollable fear coursing through my body. My breathing began to speed up and each breath wasn't enough for my lungs.

"I threw a chair, hitting him before running to the door. Except the door opened. The door opening just as my hand touched the handle. Then one more gun shot filled the air and I had taken a step back when the door opened," her words ending in a ragged sob. Becca at this point at walked over to Clarke and placed a steady hand onto her shoulder as Clarke reigned in her emotions. Her sobs sounded like those of a broken animal and I so greatly wanted to walk over and take her in my arms but I locked myself down once more and forced myself to stay still. A strange and sharp phantom pain, flashing in my gut though pulled me back to the present.

"If I hadn't taken that step back then it would have hit me. It didn't though. It had hit you instead. I tried to save you…oh god how I tried but the wound was too severe."

Clarke's voice caused a physical ache in my chest. Her words sounded strained, as though each word that she spoke broke something inside of her. Clarke then stood and made her way over till she was standing in front of me.

Her eyes were red and blood shot, the blue now even more striking. It was as though the blue had been ripped from the sky and placed in her eyes. Then she fell heavily to her knees, the sound almost echoing through the chamber. Every previous Commander's eyes were focused intently on the blonde now.

"I am so sorry. In my life I have lost many, my father, my mother, everyone that I knew, and love was taken from me but your death was my deepest regret. Gustus was right Lexa…" with those words she looked up and her eyes were burning as she stared at me.

" _Yu sou laik kongeda-de, Leska_. You are what holds everything in place. I made my vow to you in blood because I would not allow the mistakes of my past to become your downfall once more. There are things that you need to know, important things for our future to flourish instead of death," then Clarke was standing once more and made her way over to her throne which she threw herself into.

"The first is that when people from the Ark came down one of the stations fell into Azgeda territory. You need to send out riders to find and return them here. The hatred from that group is what causes the war to begin in earnest."

I didn't interrupt Clarke but nodded my head in understanding, as I made my way over to sit on my own throne, feeling weirdly nervous to be the only one left standing.

"Lexa I need you to tell me you understand. This is extremely important, if my people are not brought back now then Azgeda will work towards slaughtering them and when they were finally found a deep hatred had already formed for any grounder," she almost pleaded but I could still hear the steel in her tone.

"I will send out riders in the morning to help bring your people back to Camp Jaha, Clarke."

"Thank you. Now the second thing you need to know. When Bellamy finally gets the acid fog down and we are stationed at the front gate, the mountain is going to offer you a deal. In the original time line, you accepted this deal but there was a caveat to this deal."

"President Wallace will offer you the return of your people as well as to never take anymore to turn into reapers or used for their blood. This was done in return for you leaving and taking your army with you. Do you see the problem with this?"

My mind already running through all the different scenarios. "Where are your people?"

"Mine were not part of the deal. You left after that and I did not see you again for three months. I defeated the mountain and gained the honorable title of Wanheda. A name I used to sweep fear to all those who crossed my blades."

"You are leaving something out though. Something that I am missing. I can see it written all over your face," my voice slightly biting.

"You are not wrong and I do not know if you had even considered it in the first time line. By leaving my people you ensured that the mountain would be able to venture forth from their prison. They would have had the ability to move about freely and take what they wanted and would use their weapons and missiles to take what they wanted. No longer would they be confined to their bunker."

Her words shocked me my very core because I had not taken that into account. She has spoken before about how the mountain was using her peoples bone marrow when we first met but I had not realized the extent of them allowing to have such a thing.

"They are next to Trikru territory. We would be the first to be forced from our lands and they would still have their weapons and bombs. There would be no fighting them! My people would be crushed and even if I forced the rest of the armies to join we would still lose too many, not only would I deplete the armies from my people but also the other warriors from many more. I could cause a vote of no confidence if the loss is too many…" a sharp jerk from the corner of my eye caught attention and it was Clarke. I could see she wasn't telling me something.

My eyes narrowed at her. "What happened?" Another hazy memory came to the forefront of my mind of a spear being thrown straight and true into the chest of another. There was a slight pain across my palm and I couldn't help but look down to see if I had damaged the limb without noticing but the only thing that happened was a quick flash of a deep cut, spilling my black blood before it faded away back to clear skin.

My breathing began to pick up once more before I took a deep breath and raised my eyes once more to Clarke and waited for the response. I needed to know everything so that I knew what needed to be done to save both my people and Clarke's but by asking for my memories I had a suspicious feeling that I would be gaining all my memories of after my death.

" _Jus drien jus daun, Leska_. You achieved your vengeance. You killed the Queen and achieved the goal that was denied to you some time ago," her words brought strength to me. I could not help but puff my chest out and allowed some of the immense guilt of Costia's death and letting her murderer still live, slip away.

The image of walking into my room after a long day of waiting for my riders to return from their search for her, to find that the horror that awaited within. I had not known by that time that it had been Azgeda who had taken my precious love from me. The only information known that the group she was traveling with was attacked by bandits and that her body was not found among the dead. Her hair had been mostly removed, all of her black curls that I had always love to twirl around my fingers were gone. Her dark rich face seemed to be almost black from bruising and the harsh marks of Azgeda were crudely carved into her face. The worst part was that her eyes were open and the dark chocolate pools still held the horror that she must have endured.

This memory slowly began to fade away and locked deep in my mind but with significantly less guilt that followed. It was replaced once more with the memory of when she left Polis to go back to the village she grew up in to see her ailing mother. The sun had been shining off of her hair and surrounded her in an almost dark hallow. All of her teeth were visible and her eyes seemed to almost shine with joy as she gave me one last lingering look before urging her horse forward once more with the rest of the traders and warriors that were following on the trip. I didn't realize that I was even crying till a slight sob burst from my chest as my hand finally reached my chest and clenched over my heart.

My dark coat almost tearing at the strength of my grip as my heart finally seemed to unclench after all these years. It did not matter that I had yet to take my revenge but to know that I had finally achieved my deepest desire was a balm to my soul. I would make sure that the same thing came to pass in this time because I wanted to be able to kill her once more, even if I could not remember the first time that I had done such a thing.

Strong arms closed around me almost squashing my arms further into my chest but I couldn't help but relax into them. Hidden memories allowing me to sink into Clarke's arms. Her smell wrapping around me in a warm blanket helping soothe the immense relief that after all these many years I was Finally feeling. She smelled like the air did once a large thunderstorm had passed. It was as though her scent was picked from the sky.

I did not realize the massive amount of guilt that I had carried over for the last 4 years. The weight of that guilt that I had convinced myself that I had kept locked away that did not affect me was a lie. Clarke was right. I had never processed the grief that I had felt after her death. It felt as though I could finally take a large breath of air without feeling it being clipped short.

"I need to know what happened," my own voice coming out haggard. The tears had finally run dry and part of me felt free.

Clarke's arms tightened around me to the point that some of the air was forced from my body. "You don't want to remember. I can't have you go through that again," she pleaded with me.

She finally pulled back, her eyes were still red and fresh tear tracts were still on her face.

I pushed her far enough away that I could grab her shoulders in a tight grip. "I need to remember. Two minds are always better than one. You may have become the Commander after me but I need to know Clarke. There might be something you are missing or important that you had not known about. If I remember then maybe you can learn something new that you didn't know before. Some plot that was deeper in the works than what you knew," my hands gripping her arms tighter.

"Lexa is right Clarke. I know what I said but she needs to know because she knows things that you have not been told," Becca's voice ringing through my head. The last thing I heard was the scream of Clarke and the sounds of shattering wood.

 _Memories swam behind my eyes. Hundreds of voices raced past my ears. Then I was sitting in front of Clarke once more on my throne. She began to speak words of joining my cause but she didn't seem as confident as in this time. Fear seemed to almost burn through her eyes and the desperation was clear to see. Familiar feelings of dislike and annoyance filled me at seeing such a weak leader._

 _The images past once more to the two of us standing in my tent after Clarke had killed the Finn boy but this time her tears were blood shot and her voice was heavy with guilt and shame. A quick flash of pity filled my body before time was once more moving._

 _Gustus poisoned my cup and the girl Raven had been found guilty. The anger, hatred, and shame filled my body at the thought of ignoring Gustus' warning. Clarke coming back saying it was the cup and not the liquor that Kane had brought. Then sharp betrayal and greater heart break at the loss of Gustus. The only true father figure and protector that I loved and cherished was gone._

 _That night I could watch and feel as I cried for hours on end over his loss. The anger that I knew he was trying to protect me but ended up putting everything I was trying to do at risk. Then remembering how Clarke had given Gustus a look earlier today when we were both about to take a drink from the cup and the utter relief in her eyes._

 _Time fast forwarding once more to me hitting Quint with my dagger and then hearing the roar of a puana. Clarke saved my life. I ignore the fact that I can feel the phantom pain in my ankle where the large beast had grabbed it as well as how my shoulder burned and ached._

 _I was leaning back against a large log, hand clutching my dagger in a tight grip as I looked at the blonde sky girl. A strange feeling that I have not felt since Costia was swimming around my chest. She was different from my people. She should have had me killed I can still see that she resents me from being the cause of Finn's death._

 _A stray beam of sunlight passed through the clouds and lit up Clarke as though she was an angel or some gift from the spirits. Already I could feel the change in my emotions as I passed once more through time. She had already made herself more important than she would ever know. When she awoke I couldn't help the words that slipped past my lips. I wanted to calm her nerves, to let her know that I would watch and keep her safe because she was just as important to this alliance as I was or least these were the things I seemed to tell myself._

 _Clarke racing back into the village two days later terrified me. I could see the worry and fear in her eyes. Her voice though strong had a certain tilt to it that let me know that she had bad news._

 _A missile was coming and it felt as though my heart stopped. I couldn't stop but think of how many of my people would die and it killed a part of me to leave them to their fate. Sometimes being the Commander was a job that I did not want. The decisions took much from me sometimes. Clarke was running back to her mother and as much as it pained and hurt me, I had to turn and get farther away from the village. I could not risk my death yet._

 _The eldest night blood was Aden and he was only 12 years old. That is too young to take the position as Heda._

 _The utter relief I felt at seeing Clarke alright and alive pulled at my heart and it was difficult to not bring her into a hug or touch her in some way to make that she was healthy._

 _Time was moving once more and I watched as Clarke marched into my tent with Ryder in front of her with her weapon pressed into his back. Her eyes were alight with fire and anger. A feeling of pleasure rushed through my body at the sight of her fight showing through. Her words angered me greatly and I could feel the almost blinding rage that her words brought from that meeting._

 _Then she was gone once more and I was left to my thoughts as I tried to reign my anger in once more but the longer I thought on it the more my feelings became clearer. Feelings that I thought I would never feel for another after the loss of Costia. It seemed to almost bring peace to me. I felt lighter and the sigh of relief from my confusion finally turning into true feelings. I felt no shame that I felt these things for her. It was hard to admit that I trusted her though which was the worst thing because at some point I had realized that I trusted no one. The last person I trusted was Costia and she was taken from me._

 _Then she spoke the words. "Then maybe life should be more than just about surviving," and something in my chest clenched at those words and a deep sadness filled me because my life up till that point was surviving and I barely trusted enough to make life more than just that._

" _Maybe we do," slipped past my lips and couldn't stop looking at her. I had to take in every single aspect of Clarke. Then my eyes caught her lips and I couldn't stop myself. I wanted her. Oh god how much I wanted her._

 _My arm slipped behind her neck and I gently pulled her in and kissed her. Time seemed to stop as we kissed. My heart seemed to try and beat out of my chest. Her lips were soft and only slightly chapped._

 _Clarke was shocked at first before she finally gave in the kiss and then it was as though lightning was shooting across my closed eyes. I was amazed that no sounds escaped past my lips at how amazing this felt and how my entire body wanted to feel against me._

 _I shifted my face and then she was pulling back. Fear coursed through me when she finally looked up. I couldn't tell how she felt about it but it was easy to see the conflict in her eyes but not what she was conflicted about._

 _Of course Finn was involved, that silly boy seemed to always be involved when it came to her love life. I accepted it though when she said she wasn't ready yet only because I could see in eyes how much she wished that she was ready to do anything with me._

 _Time flashed forward once more. Words of our plan to enter the mountain and the chanting of our most promised words. Then I was standing in front of a large metal door standing next to Clarke asking her to join me in Polis. I knew she would love it there. The love she shows for little ones was obvious and I knew that all of my nightbloods would love her. It was easy to love her and hard to hate._

 _I was holding onto the switch box with Clarke as we both whispered words of promise to finding our people. Relief filled me knowing that this entire ordeal was going to be over soon and then I can take her to Polis with me. Her people would join and then she would forever have a reason to stay in my city, with only the occasional departure to see her people._

 _The gunfire above drew my attention and I knew that I had to go with my warriors to lead them to take them out. None of our people would be able to enter with the fighters on the ridge._

 _I was running forward all my men behind before finally climbing into the trees behind the soldiers and on my count jumping down and killing more than half in one go. I rushed forward slashing another soldier across his chest. The cut was deep and the man was dead as soon as he hit the ground._

 _I stabbed another soldier in his chest, dark red blood bubbling up and out of his mouth before he coughed, getting more blood on my face. Dark satisfaction filled me with each death of a mountain man before I was standing in front of the last. Compared to the others this man seemed to smug and when I raised my sword over my head to cut of his head, his words stopped me. He promised that his people would never take another of my people for there blood . That the mountain men would never cause my people anymore problems._

 _My people would be let go, only for the price of my warriors leaving this night. I almost sagged with relief before realizing something that Clarke said and something that wasn't said by this Emmerson character._

" _What about the Sky People? Are they included in this deal?" my voice filled the clearing._

 _Triumph filled this horrid mans eyes. "No. Only your people. If you do not accept this deal then not only will your people inside the mountain be slaughtered but we will release more missiles to other villages and on your precious capital. The warriors you brought with you today will also be killed," his voice was cold and in some sick way reminded me of the Ice Queen._

 _My stomach rolled and bile formed in my mouth once I realized that by accepting this I guaranteed my peoples safety this day but I would lose Clarke forever. I would never be able to bring her Polis with me. I would once more be alone but I hardened my heart as Titus' words filled my head._

" _I accept your offer mountain man," I hiss at him. Then I turn and begin the walk back, barely in time to keep Clarke from sacrificing my warriors._

 _The look of betrayel in Clarke's eyes and the anger that seemed to slowly seep across her body language hurt. Turning my back on her was one of the hardest things I had done in my life._

 _God did it hurt. I felt as though the small happiness that I might have made for myself was once more taken away. That night I cried. I cried for the injustice of my life and how I had to put my peoples need before my own._

 _I tried to harden my heart as the days turned into months. Relief was the main emotion I felt when I learned that Clarke had gotten her people out from under the mountain but then anger at myself because she had to make such a large sacrifice for her people. Knowing that she would never be the same. The ground had ruined that part of me and I could only hope that this had not hurt her to bad._

 _I loathed myself though. I have not felt a hate this strong towards myself since I had lost Costia. Once more I could not take my vengeance only this time there was no physical manifestation for me to hate and I was only left to hate myself._

 _Time passed by my eyes once more. Titus was becoming more of a nuisance to me. More than once he had questioned why I had even made a deal with the Sky People and now that they were weak I should attack or at least find this Clarke who had been given the name of Wanheda by my people and take her power._

 _I almost hit the man for such words. I could never kill her and even the thought of her death would cause my chest to clench because in a way I had already killed her. I had helped take away the last of her innocence._

 _Then word reached me of Azgeda looking for her. The Queen wanted her for herself. I couldn't let that happen. It had only been three months and Clarke was still heavily situated in my mind._

 _I sent Prince Roan out to find her. The man wanted his freedom, wanted to leave Polis for the first time in years. Word reached me of how Azgeda was marching in Trikru lands. This gave me the ability to still keep him prisoner._

 _I did not need to have Roan gone and lose the small leverage that I still maintained over Nia gone._

 _She was muddy and dirty. Her hair still had red dye in it and seemed almost sickly. Her cheeks were slightly sunken in and had a haunted look in her and finally I realized how much worse she had become. Several strands of her hair seemed to be almost stuck together while others looked to be made into dreads._

 _Then I finally realized that some of the blood was hers and looked as though she had been punched in the face a couple of times. Anger coursed through my veins in white hot rage._

" _I told you to bring her to me unharmed," I hissed at Roan. He seemed almost smug when he answered._

 _She spit in my face and part of me felt utterly destroyed that I had ruined any chance to be even friendly to sky girl. My chest hurt and I wanted to cry. Thankfully Titus did not see me in such a state._

 _Clarke was going to kill me. She got a knife from someone in my tower and was going to kill me with it because of my betrayal. She dropped the knife though and I could breathe a sigh of relief._

 _She was beautiful in that dress. Desire coursed through my body and everything began to heat up. The woman singing seemed to bring forth some other worldly presence and it seemed to only magnify this woman's beauty._

 _The mountain was destroyed and while I felt that this is where things began to change for the worse. It sounded like the beginning of the war that Clarke described to me. Trepidation filled my entire being._

 _I dropped to my knees for the first time in my entire life and made a vow that I would follow to my dying day. She would never have to worry about the safety of her people_

 _The Queen was brought before me and she still looked as evil and vindictive as the last time I had seen her scared face. She challenged me._

 _Clarke was scared and part of me felt that she was certainly losing some of the intense anger she still had towards me. It allowed a small part of me to relax. Then the fight happened and when I threw the spear and watched as it hit the Queen I couldn't stop the small build up of tears in my eyes._

 _We traveled to Arkadia with the body of the Queen only to find a field filled with dead warriors. For a while I could not speak. All died from either bullet wounds on their body or to the head. My stomach turned at the large number shot in the head. Meaning that they were executed. My people were killed because some man had taken over Arkadia._

 _I banished Emmerson to deadlands and ordered the blockade. A deep sadness swelled through my body at the thought that my life was almost over. The only thing left was my death. That was the last big event before the fall of Arkadia._

 _Clarke kissed me in such a way that she stole my breath away. A tear fell from my eye at the utter joy I felt in this moment. Then we were lost in our world of gentle hands and loving touches. My entire world fell away until it was only her left._

 _The day passed in the same way until she finally left my room to retrieve the last of her things. My eyes were already building up with tears when I heard the first gun shot. My heart stopped and then I was running._

 _I pushed doors open to see that my normal guards were not posted in front of my door like they should have. More gun shots rang through the hallway but no guards were near her door. The two guards that I specifically ordered to be there were gone. My stomach turned at this thought because I knew that Titus had planned this further than I had thought he would._

 _I finally pushed open to door and accepted the burning pain that spread through my abdomen. Though at first, I had felt nothing only the strong feeling of being pushed back by something._

 _Clarke's eyes were wide in shock before an almost manic focus as I was picked up by Titus and placed on her bed. Already my life's blood was spreading out around the bed and by then it was finally hurting. I wanted to scream and cry but I forced back these feelings and made Titus promise to never harm Clarke again. To protect her like I could no longer._

 _Everything was heavy and the voices of the Commanders were becoming louder. Telling me that it was my time. I would live on though and be able to protect her from beyond. The next Commander would be one of my nightbloods who had promised to protect her and her people. They would be safe and as she whispered the words of the prayer, my body became heavier._

 _Tears were landing on my face from her, joining my own that were slowly slipping down my face. I tried to fight it because I didn't want her to feel the pain that I knew was going to follow. Already I could see the love in her eyes and the devastation that screamed from her._

 _I tried to tell her how much I loved her. How she had become the sun to my universe. The ground had grown to love to sky. Then her lips were pressed on mine as my world slowly slipped away and I was sitting in my throne with the other Commanders standing around me._

 _I barely had to stop before I reached forward and grabbed Farkas in a tight hug. Sobs shaking my entire body as I allowed myself to grieve for everything that I lost. I cried for my parents who I could not remember. I cried for the love I had for all of my people that I could no longer protect._

 _I cried for Costia my first love because I would never see her face. For she had lost the chance to move on because of having her head removed._

 _I cried for Anya. My mentor, my friend, my surrogate mother, and my first. She taught me everything I needed to know about fighting. The woman who held my hand when I was lost in fever. Who made sure that I always had some fun even during my time with Titus._

 _I cried for Gustus. The man who protected me my entire life. Who was there one of the first times I had scraped my knees after I had been pushed by another one of nightbloods because I was so much smaller than them. Who taught me how to ride a horse when I was still small because I was scared of such a large creature._

 _Then finally I cried for Clarke because I knew this would not do her any good. I was always told that there was a fine line between love and hate. That she loved me just as much as I come to love her in the short period of time we were together. For the fact that I would never get to hold her in my arms again. I would not be the one to teach her fight with ground weapons._

 _Time passed once more. Almost a year before finally the flame was taken by another. The memories that all of the Commanders gained were sick. Ontari was the Queen's attack dog. The one that was trained from as soon as she could walk to become to perfect killing machine. She found joy in the suffering of others._

 _She did not care that the Queen was gone. In fact she had plans in the work to become the Queen herself but I had done the job for her. I had given her the opportunity to become the one thing she might never have._

 _I learned truly sick things from her mind. The anger I felt was so strong that I witnessed red in my vision when I absorbed her memories of the torture of Clarke and the death of her people. She had gathered all of the warriors from every clan and those who did not contribute were heavily punished in taxes and having their children stolen to punish the people further._

 _Sifting through her memories further I learned that Titus was the reason that Aden's head was sent to Clarke. She did not know of our relationship until he told her with an almost sick look on his face. He disclosed that he had also given warning to Azgeda scouts about the lover of Heda being away from the city and on the road._

 _Titus was going to suffer when this was all over. He would die the death of a blood eagle. I had only witnessed the death ritual once and it was bloody, violent, and still caused me to be haunted in my sleep from how gruesome a death it was. It was only done to those who personally attacked the Commander and tried to kill them. The difference with this was that poisoned old man had used my loves against me. Titus had almost succeeded in making me the 'perfect Commander' but he had not prepared for the Sky People to come down. He was not ready for Clarke to come back and breathe life back into me once more._

 _Ontari only visited the room once and that encounter ended with me almost killing her but I finally learned that the current holder of the flame cannot be killed by the past._

 _I could sit back and watch as the years continued to flash past my eyes as I watched Ontari turn my coalition into a dictatorship, eliminating those who didn't conform and giving Azgeda endless power._

 _I cried once more when Ontari killed Clarke's mother. It seemed that my death truly was the catalyst to the end. Then finally time seemed to stop once more when Ontari kicked the door down to room that Clarke was in and I was once more able to look upon the woman I loved. This time it was truly devastating to see the state she was in._

 _Clarke may have been more on the skinny side, she had built up her muscles, added with the fact that her eyes had seemed to take on a darker tone she looked dangerous, especially with the endless supply of scars that littered every available area of skin._

I sucked a greedy breathe in and sat up. Trying to catch my breath and allow the massive amount of memories that I just witnessed to finally calm down. The sounds of screaming drew my attention to see Clarke fighting Farkas. Three of the previous Commanders were already down on the ground. Looking as though there asses had been handed to them. Becca seemed to be attempting to right herself after being thrown into a throne. The beautiful wood work of the throne nothing more than splinters and firewood after she was so violently thrown into it.

"Clarke!" I screamed at her in fury. She quickly stopped and was hit across the face. The blow causing a loud cracking sound to echo through the room. Instantly I knew that Clarke would have a nasty bruise on her face when she woke in the real world. This was not good and I had a bad feeling that things were going to get a lot worse before they got better when Farkas went to deliver a sharp kick to Clarke's side.

I was running and I felt powerful as I strongly tackled Farkas to the ground. The look of betrayal flashed across his face. I was quick to get off of him but all motion in the room seem to stop when a heavy powerful presence finally made itself known. Fear coursed down my spine when I was able to find the source only to see that Becca was finally on her feet and her eyes seems to burn in her anger.

Shifting my body I made to keep myself in front of Clarke as she slowly pulled herself up from the floor. Becca though just waved her hand and I watched as all the bruising that was already forming on Farkas' face was slowly disappearing.

"I did what needed to be done Clarke. I know I promised that I would not let her have her memories once more but she asked. She was right as well. Certain things are now known and she will be able to help us further in keeping all of our people safe and alive."

I had never heard such a cold tone of voice from her before. She was always kind and calm. Even all of the Commanders seemed to almost shrink back in her apparent anger.

"Now I do believe it is time for you both to awake. I do not want to see your face Clarke until you calm down and have a very good apology for your actions here today. I understand that certain things happened in your past that you don't want to bring to life but I will never allow such behavior again. Remember I made the flame and I alone know its true power," her words cut deep and I wished that my first time with my memories would have gone a lot better than what just occurred.

Becca then waved her hand once more and I found myself laying deep in my furs. All I knew was that I had to find Clarke. I needed to see her.


	6. Survival of the Fittest Part II

It has been six months since I have last updated this story and I have to say I am so sorry y'all. A lot of shit went down for me and I love all the love and support I have been given by my loyal readers. I have finished my time at college and am now slowly saving money so that I don't have to worry about money while I go to the police academy.

I can't begin to tell y'all how much all your words of encouragement mean to me. For awhile I was in a dark place and it was so difficult to do anything. My anxiety also took a giant hit so that was super fun. Thankfully I had all y'alls support, as well as my friends and family. Also if you know someone that is suffering from depression or anxiety don't tell them to just 'think happy thoughts.' This simple phrase is the single worst thing because I was told this once again at one of my lowest points and it didn't help because it just made me feel like I was a failure. That I couldn't even do something as simple as being happy.

On another note: **Don't be a fucking pussy and leave a negative comment behind a guest account. Grow a pair and fucking leave it behind an actual name so I don't have to stew in my anger waiting for your little bitchy comment to show up. Why don't you just not read my story if you don't like it. If I don't portray a character the 'right way' then write your own god damn story. Also you sound like that dumb bitch that commented on the last chapter I updated. So once more dear sir or ma'am you can take that large stick you carry to smack those that work hard to create stories that you love to shit on and shove it Right up your ass. You can even use it as a chair. I hope you feel so much better after you have read this because I know you will because this is the second time you have pulled this shit.**

 **Another rant. The main website I use for my trigedasleng has been removed. So that's fricking great.**

I don't own anything.

Chapter Six

"Lexa is right Clarke. I know what I said but she needs to remember because she knows things that you have not been told," Becca looked apologetic, but I could see the resolve hardening.

The woman flashed from her throne to standing in front of Lexa and then grabbed the back of her neck and placing her right hand against her face. Brown eyes locked with green before the green glazed over and she fell back limp into her throne.

My scream of rage was drowned out as I lost consciousness in the present, eyes rolling into the back of my skull and my memories flashing before my eyes. Memories that I had no want or need to remember or to live through once more.

 _*Flashback*_

 _Lexa was sitting before me in her throne, a dark sneer on her face as she looked at me. Fear coursing through my veins as I tried to put on a brave face and show confidence but it was failing me. The past couple days catching up to me as my eye began to twitch._

 _The verbal spar this time was not as fun or witty as the second time and only brought me sadness because I had failed to adequately impress the woman. Walking through the woods always making sure to keep at least one eye on the grounders that followed at a mellow pace. Not trusting that they wouldn't stab me in the back._

 _Desporation coursed through my veins at the sight of Lincoln not breathing or heart beating. The deep sadness that seemed to thrum from my chest at the sight of Octavia crying over her lost love. The feeling only intensifying at Lexa's words. The crackle of the shock baton as it restarted the man's heart._

 _I could only watch as Finn was standing in the middle of the clearing with his hands raised as the grounder warriors grabbed him and took him away. Raven screams of anger echoing in my ears._

 _Blood slipped down my my arm, heart pounding in my chest, as it slowly became harder to breath. My chest felt incredibly tight, my feelings for Finn seemed raw and the overwhelming guilt felt like it was swallowing me whole. His ghost following me around and reminding me of my failure to protect who I care for._

 _Foam frothed from Gustus' mouth as he fell back against the wall, Lexa panicking as he continued to choke. Raven being taken when the poison was found in her jacket. Her screams searing itself into my memory._

 _Her bright crimson blood staining her dark blue shirt as she continued to bleed. The rope steadily cutting into her wrists as she tried to pull herself away from the bloody blade as it was once more passed to another village member from Ton D.C._

 _The vodka burned as I took large drags from the bottle. Only stopping when I couldn't take the burning anymore. Lexa's eyes were wide in something almost akin to surprise and guilt. The liquor warmed my body and gave me the courage I needed to scream at the warriors that surrounded us._

 _Lexa's face was hard as stone as she pushed the sharp point of her blade into Gustus' chest killing him. The anger that I felt towards the man that almost ruined the alliance that was needed for us to take the mountain._

 _Blood splatter hitting me in the face from how close he was when hit by the dagger. Lexa rushing closer to the man before ripping her dagger out as she threatened the man. The roar of my encounter with a pauna as she slashed the man's leg open. Her scream of pain when the gorilla grabbed hold of her leg. Waking up to her watching over me. The first stirrings of positive emotions toward her._

 _The absolute fear I felt over her safety when hearing of the bomb being sent to Ton D.C. after I sent off Emerson with my warning. Ragged breaths of my horse when I finally managed to get to the village. Grudgingly accepting her reasoning for not telling the other generals of the missile that was headed this way._

 _Rushing away from her when I saw my mother in the village. The feel of the explosion as my bones shuddered and vibrated. Of blood slowly dripping down my face from the blood as my world came into focus once more after hearing those words from my mother to see Lexa holding my face in her hands. How it felt nice and filled me with warmth._

 _My finger tensed and the sound of a gunshot sounded off, the mountain falling to the ground next. Not feeling any relief from the guilt of all those who died in the village. My anger at the mountain only increasing in intensity._

 _Stopping Ryder from shooting Octavia as she was stationed at the look out point. The words flowing from my mouth as I called Lexa a liar. All of the build up of emotions finally releasing at the one woman whose presence I enjoyed to be around. The curl of desire that flared through my body when she pulled me into a kiss. Her lips soft and how much I wanted to continue but stopping due to the left over feelings I had for Finn._

 _The horns of war blasting through the small valley. Her soft hands wrapped around mine as we pushed the button down together. Lexa's blood splattered face as she told me of how she made the decision with her head and not her heart._

 _Anger and betrayal flowing heavily through my veins. The red slowly inching in from the edge toward the center. Her whispered words of 'May we meet again,' seemed to be the only thing I could hear as everything else faded away. The anger falling away to leave only devastation that a woman who I trusted with all my being, who I wanted to have as part of my life has betrayed me. The guilt that maybe if I hadn't pushed her away earlier then she wouldn't have abandoned me and my people._

 _Dante on his knees before me, his words swirling through my head. I hardened my heart and took Lexa's advice. I pulled the trigger and watched with slight satisfaction as he fell dead to the floor, ignoring the look of utter horror on my friends faces._

 _Bellamy and I pulling the lever. Horror._

 _All I could feel was horror and I couldn't protect myself from the feelings of my past self. It felt like I was living that life through once more._

 _I was running. Running from everything that reminded me of what I had done. The memories of everything I had done since landing seemed to replay constantly through my mind the three months I had been alone._

 _Every night was a nightmare. The burned faces of those I killed flashing through my minds eye. Always waking up in a cold sweat and sometimes vomiting the small amount of food I had managed to force down my throat. The depression was all consuming. It felt as though I was walking through thick sludge to even take a single step._

 _The anger was another constant companion during these days. Anytime something didn't happen the way I wanted it was met with lashing out and a few animals that were unsalvageable._

 _Niylah became the only one that I would see during my time in the woods. I always made sure to come back to her trading post. She was the only human interaction I had. The night we slept together was nothing more than a release for me. I knew she felt more for me but I didn't care. The itch needed to be scratched and she just happened to be there._

 _Roan capturing was definitely the breaking point for me. I knew that the Ice Nation had been looking for me for some time. Niylah had heard rumors and made sure to let me know if she saw any bounty hunters from that clan as well as any scouts._

 _My body felt weak and by the end of week trip I felt close to death. When he placed the bag over my head, I felt no fear as to what was to come. I didn't care that I most likely was going to be tortured and killed by the Ice Queen. Part of me felt a strange sick satisfaction that I was going to cause Lexa pain after my death._

 _Then it was her face I saw once the bag was removed. Not the Queen. The rage that had been steadily rising finally exploded. I spit in her face, making sure that I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. I can't remember the words I had screamed at her but all I could see in my mind's eye was her leaving me alone on the mountain._

 _Roan slipping me the dagger. The blade pressed firmly against her tan skin. Feeling sick when all I could see on her face was acceptance and how apologetic she looked. It made me sick and I had to push her away. Her speaking of peace between my people and hers._

 _Seeing my mother again was an experience but the happiness that she showed towards me meant little to me. She shouldn't have been happy to see me._

 _Bowing before Lexa, made my stomach turn but I needed to do this to protect Skaikru from the Ice Nation. The strength of their army was clearly seen when Roan forced me into the woods. The throne room doors opening to allow Bellamy, Octavia, and surprisingly Pike to enter. All talking about how this was a trap._

 _Raven's broken voice coming over the radio. Telling us that everything in the Mountain was gone. Part of me knowing that mountain should have not been touched, let alone have my people move into it._

 _Lexa was bowing to me. The same vow I muttered just days prior in this time to her. This was the moment that I knew that she deeply regretted what happened at the mountain. The anger at her was now a low simmer, barely rearing its head when I see her now._

 _My first encounter with the dark haired night blood. Her blood dripping down onto my face after the Queen cut into her. My stomach turning at the sick glee in both women's eyes. The concern I felt when I saw Lexa once more. Her telling me that 'You have never seen me fight.'_

 _Her throw was straight and true. Her strength and power was shown with the bang of Nia's back hitting the throne, the tip of the spear splintering through the wood. She was truly beautiful at that moment. The sun hit her at just the right angle to make her look like an angel of death. A warrior goddess who had been given mortal form._

 _She looked so soft when she entered my room. I couldn't help but stare in wonder at her beauty. Knowing that what I wanted her. It was so hard to tell her goodnight. To let her walk out of my chamber room doors. I went to bed that night with a deep longing throbbing in my chest._

 _She was wearing her sash like a cowl this morning. The fog covering the ground around us and the trees in the distance. Lexa laughed slightly and my heart clenched and warmed in wonder at her._

 _The 300 warriors she sent were dead. All dead except for Indra. Fear and anger when I learned at what my people had done. Anger to learn that my people voted for this but I couldn't let the war happen. Knowing that if I did then my people would be wiped out._

 _Barely making it out of Arkadia alive without being tortured or imprisoned. Lexa declaring Blood must not have blood to her people for me._

 _Lexa fell asleep on the couch and I couldn't help but draw her. Try to show the peace that radiated from her resting form onto the paper. To convey my emotions for her in a positive outlet. The spirits of the Commanders talking to her before she woke. The sliver of fear going down my spine finally realizing that they were real. That this wasn't just some spiritual mumbo jumbo._

 _Emmerson socked me in the face with the chains wrapped around his wrists. Lexa screamed at her guards to take him away. The vengeance I wanted against the man going against what I pleaded Lexa for._

 _Titus warning me to leave the city._

 _Changing my mind at the beginning of the formal 1000 cuts ceremony. Him being banished to waste lands, to the desert._

 _The blockade with a kill order being enacted. Going to talk to Lexa, only to end with kissing her. A single tear rolling down her cheek. Bringing her to bed and have her look up at me in pure wonder._

 _Pulling her clothes off slowly to allow me to taste her skin. Us joining together in ways I never imagined happening. Running my fingers gently up and down her back as she closed her eyes for a minute. Her skin softer than the furs that covered us. That covered her. Her mentioning a living night blood before her rolling over onto me and my train of thought lost in the feel of her touch. Of the pleasure that she brought me. Of the pleasure that I brought her._

 _The bliss and sadness I felt over leaving her room, only to find Murphy tied a chair in mine. Titus saying that leaving wasn't enough to end my control over her._

 _The loud bark of the gun as he fired at me. The door opening before my fingers touched to handle and taking a step back in alarm._

 _So much blood. It covered my hands, arms, chest, and parts of my face. Giving her the travelers prayer and gently pressing my lips to hers once more. Tears streaming down my face at how cold her lips are. The taste of iron mixing unpleasantly with the salt on mine._

 _Titus then rolling her cold body over and removing the flame. Telling me how the flame needs to be removed from her so that it can be passed onto the next Commander, repeating the words that only a nightblood can take the flame. The sound of a loud bell echoing through the city and the tower._

 _Being pulled into the throne room with the others later in the early morning only to see the nightblood that was with the Queen sitting on the throne. Her kicking over the bag of heads._

 _Titus taking Murphy and I to a secret passage that would take us out of the tower and how to make our way out of the city. Repeating his promise that he made to Lexa. That he was only doing this because of that promise._

 _I didn't care. His words meant nothing and only brought more anger and pain. My arm racing forward and connecting perfectly with his throat. Him dropping to the ground, holding onto his throat. Searching the pockets of his robes until I found that flame and pocketed it. The nightblood that had taken her throne wasn't worthy of this._

 _Running through the opening with Murphy hot on my heels. Making it back to outskirts of the city before stealing horses and racing towards Arkadia. Fearing what would happen now that the kill order was active._

 _Indra helping us sneak over the border and into Skaikru land. Not saying anything to me when she saw the blood that still stained my skin. How my eyes now seemed hollow and empty. The last thing she did before disappearing into the brush was pull me into a tight hug whispering to me words of strength._

 _Pike locked me in a cell with the other Trikru who had been there originally for treatment. I had to watch over the course of one week many of them die because of the lack of medicine. It didn't matter that I tried to help. The fevers became to strong, their brains overheating, bodies shutting down from the infection._

 _Lincoln was killed a day after I was locked in with them. He had started a riot to break out but that had failed. The lone gun shot seemed to bring the world into silence. The only sound that could be heard through the window was a long-agonized scream from who I could only guess was Octavia._

 _The horns began one week after this day, early in the morning. The sun had barely began to lighten when the first horn blew. This horn was followed by another, before it sounded like hundreds or horns were being blown._

 _The crack of sniper rounds could clearly be heard in the cells. The few remaining Trikru with me all rushed to the window. The cells were on the second floor and gave us a view of the valley the Ark had landed in. Not much could be seen through the trees._

 _The horns stopped and only to be quickly forgotten when hundreds of thousands of arrows flew into the air. Each arrows tip was on fire, lighting up the sky as they flew._

 _The cell door opened. It was Octavia. She had climbed through the vents and she was here to break us out. She broke the news that the entire coalition was at the front door and we needed to be gone._

 _The mountain covered our rear and gave us an escape route as long as we left then._

 _Hundreds of my people followed me. Most of the remaining 100 came as well. Only a few stayed behind including Bellamy, Jasper, and any of those who had family from farm station. Thankfully Monty joined our group._ _Murphy vanishing on the road back to Arkadia with a dark haired woman with tattoos across her face._

 _The 400 that followed quickly dwindled down in number. The desert was to harsh for the elderly that followed and for the younger children._

 _We needed nightblood and thanks to rumors we learned about Luna. That she was the one that escaped the last conclave in exile from Polis. I gave orders to keep the party moving towards east and closer to the sea as not many clans had villages there. It would be easier to hide._

 _Octavia and I went to the capital village of Flokru to see if we could speak to Luna. She was the only hope at having a nightblood on the Commanders throne that wasn't absolutely psychotic._

 _Disappointment seemed to pulse with the beats of my heart, hearing the no come from Luna's lips. It also seemed that she was losing favor with her clan as she had cut off all trade with the other clans once she heard of Lexa's death._

 _The problem that came with this was now a new nightblood was needed but the only other one alive was insane. Later that week the radio crackled to life to hear my mother telling us that nightblood was just a serum that was originally given to many of those on the ground to help them survive the radiation._

 _Octavia and I agreed to kidnap Luna. Many of the businesses that were based in their capital were beginning to lose profits and already many were shut down. One of the boating companies had even begun to burn the other boats to monopolize the fishing import. Luna ignored the inner problems that were building trying to just keep other tribes away from her clan._

 _Many were calling for her to step down so that they start the trading back up. Much of the land they were on was not condusive for the growing of anything besides some vegetables but not enough to really feed all of their people. That was why the trade agreements for the clan was so important._

 _After one of the major fields that made up their vegetable plants was destroyed a revolt happened and Luna was removed from her throne._

 _She escaped in the middle of the night. I found her._

 _My mother found a way to reverse engineer the nightblood from her bone marrow. I went out on a kill mission to remove the ice nation scouts that had begun to circle out camp. Not that they knew this. Tunnels systems truly came in handy._

 _Their were more scouts than reported. I was attacked from behind in the cave I had taken shelter in. The next four days were hell. I was cut into, beaten, and whipped within an inch of my life for information on the flame. Thankfully the flame I had buried deep in the earth of the cave in the very back. An area that I had barely fit in._

 _They had started with the whip. The whip instead of leather had a metal hook like end to it. Each lash across my back caused pain to explode from where it connected. The only thing they got out of me was screams. Then they had moved onto burning the wounds on my back closed. I was half delirious by this time._

 _They removed all of my nails from both my fingers and from my toes. Cut into every available inch of skin they could before burning the wound closed. The men knew what they were doing._

 _My head forced multiple times into the water barrel they had brought in. I was only pulled out once I stopped struggling as hard. A hot knife was stabbed into my eye. That happened on the last day. No longer could I see out of my left eye. It was almost ironic that it was the same eye I almost lost in my fight against Gustus. Barely an hour after another Ice Nation warrior entered the room I had been locked in to tell them that the flame had been found._

 _An arrow pierced the mans throat, the tip seemed to explode from the front of his neck._

 _Two arrows quickly followed killing the two other men._

 _I was delirious from the pain, my vision fading in and out. Barely recognizing Octavia and Indra as they stormed into the room. A sword breaking the chain that held me up._

 _Everything flashed forward once more but the damage had already been done. I had felt everything. The torture I had barely lived through once, reliving once more. Once more, I created a wall that seemed to keep my true self locked away._

 _Memories continued to flash forward at a much quicker rate. Not feeling much of anything besides the phantom pain left from the experience._

 _Breathy moans caused from Octavia touching me. Of our battle cries as we decimated those before us._

 _A sword breaking through skin and armor. Of shocked hazel eyes that were already glazing over in death as she fell. Octavia dying with a smile on her face, knowing that she was going to see Lincoln again._

 _Falling deeper into my role as leader. No longer allowing many to get close to me physically._

 _My mothers eyes connecting with mine before closing for the final time. The smile on Ontari's face as she held the bloody knife above her head._

 _Walking through the cave system to find that Jackson had killed himself. Leaving me as the only healer._

 _The third winter when the flu decimating half of the remaining people alive._

 _The drums of war closing in on my people for the final time. Making it through the door before it was closed for the last time._

 _*Flashback end*_

I fell forward from my throne. My eyes wild. Mind not clear.

"Clarke?" a soft woman's voice asks. Head raising to see Becca.

The woman who broke her promise that Lexa wouldn't get her memories back. Hand reaching back and grabbing hold of one of my daggers. Wanting to see her blood.

The knife moving end over end through the air vanishing from reality before it made contact with her.

My war cry was loud. My throat hurt from the strength and volume of such a cry. Shooting forward with my original speed towards Becca.

I was already moving when Mjorll tried to stop me. I quickly punched her in the throat before sweeping her legs out from under her. Moving as I did so.

I barely made it a few steps more before crashing heavily into one of the previous Commanders. Not caring as I flung the man over my shoulder. Weaving past another's hands. I connected hard with Becca. The throne that we collided with was shattered. Large hands pulling me from the woman before being flung away.

Landing hard on the ground as I continued to scream out my fury. Not carrying of the damage I could bring down upon myself. Flipping myself back and onto my feet. Hands touched my arm, not even thinking before my elbow made solid contact with another's face. Feeling the sick pleasure from the sound of their nose breaking.

Farkas entered my sight, keeping me from enacting my revenge. The revenge I needed to have.

My name screamed catching my attention. The voice from the one I love. Stopping to turn to see her. Only to be blindsided by a punch. The hit so powerful it threw me to the ground. My head spinning from the blow.

A heavy foot connected with my side. My eyes opening to glare at the man on top of me only to see someone tackle him away from me.

I barely had time to register that it was Lexa before a heavy presence permeated the air. Everything stopped and I couldn't even move if I wanted to. It lightened enough for me to make it to my feet.

Lexa moving away from Farkas to stand in front of me. The woman waved her hand and all the injuries slowly went away. Even the phantom pain from the torture vanished away. My mind clearing but still not enough that I was emotionally stable.

"I did what was needed to be done Clarke. I know I promised I would not let have her memories once more but she asked. She was right as well. Certain things are now known and she will be able to help us further in keeping all our people safe and alive."

Her voice cold and a sliver of fear traveled down my spine but it quickly vanished and replaced with anger that burned through my veins.

"Now I do believe it is time for you both to awake. I do not want to see your face Clarke until you calm down and have a very good apology for your actions here today. I understand that certain things happened in your past that you don't want to bring to light but I will never allow such behavior again. Remember I made the flame and I alone know it's true power."

Becca waved her hand again it felt like I was pushed through a tube only to find myself back in my bed. The furs felt to tight. My mind pulling up fresh memories of the torture.

I didn't want to be touched right now. The thought of human contact made my skin crawl. The thought and feeling of anything touching me was wrong. Ripping the covers off and leaving the bed. Panic coursing through my veins. My heart rate rising quickly.

The beat so powerful that it seemed to cause my whole body to slightly shake with it. My hands gripped my leg tightly as I tried to control my my breathing.

To not allow my breathing to quicken to the point I pass out. Already I could see the stars forming. My hands going to my head. My breathing slowing down finally.

The calm I had finally entered in was almost shattered by the one who threw open the flap for my tent. Anger coursed through my veins. Lighting my body on fire with its fury.

"Get out!" I roar at the man.

He didn't move from his position. Eyes taking in my hunched over form. The only thing I was wearing was pants and my chest binding. The guard cleared his throat to speak but I didn't care.

Reaching over I grabbed hold on the clay pot on the small stool and threw it at the man. The pot exploding once it made contact with his chest. Drenching the poor man in water.

"GET OUT!" I roar again this time taking a challenging step forward. The guard ran quickly from the tent.

The fiery inferno that was my anger was so strong I could feel the tears begin to form. A thing that has not happened in years.

My hands gripping hair tightly, pulling hard on the strands. The pain helping me center my mind as I released another scream of fury.

Ignoring the sounds of people talking outside my tent.

The flap opening once more. Releasing my hair, I reached down to the edge of the cot and hurled it at the entrance only to panic to see wide green eyes right as the cot connected with her.

Multiple shouts of Heda sounded around the tent. The anger still coursed through my veins. Reaching one of my dangerous points. Even the thought of hurting Lexa with my actions didn't calm the inferno.

Making barely any noise due to not having my boots on, I stormed from the tent to see half of Ton D.C. awake and watching with wide eyes. Lexa had already thrown the cot away from her and was standing again.

She quickly took in my appearance. My eyes taking her in as well. A strange snarl slipped past my lips when deep concern appeared on her face. I don't need her pity.

"Clarke you need to clear your mind. This anger isn't good for you. It keeps you from thinking clearly," she tried to plead. Voice soft she seemed to plead with me.

"We can fix everything."

Looking down, I rubbed my left eye trying to acclimate to seeing out of it once more. Pushing too hard and popping one of the stitches. Feeling the thread used pull free from the skin and fall away. My warm blood flowing down past my hand to my arm. The whispering raising once more at the sight.

Dropping my arms once more, I opened my eyes and cataloged everything happening around me.

The sun had barely begun to rise, lighting up much of the village in a warm reddish glow. Many of the villagers were already out and doing their jobs. Even Skaikru were out. My mother looked slightly horrified at my appearance.

Gustus was standing next to Lexa looking utterly furious at me. Then my eyes connected with Lexa once more. The pitying look gone from her face. Instead it was understanding.

Ignoring everything else I moved swiftly past her and towards her war room. The heavy steps of Gustus following after me. My ears barely picking up Lexa's.

The heavy metal door was opened for me as I flew down the steps. My feet stepping on multiple small pebbles and cracks. Pretty sure that I have cuts covering the delicate soles.

Lexa's area wasn't covered, her furs on the floor.

I stopped and took in the sight of her bed for the first time not made. She never once in the entire time I have known not made her bed.

Head tilting on its own without any thought.

"I had to see you," her voice was soft.

I closed my eyes as the large metal door shut behind me. Her steps louder now that they are on concrete.

No words came to mind. The anger was slowly fading away the longer I stood in her presence even though I didn't want to calm down. Becca broke her promise. Her promise lasted four days. Four Fucking days.

"I remember Clarke. It isn't the end of the world. We know what will happen. We can prepare," her voice reaching softer volumes by the end.

Hands slowly touched my back. The muscles twitching, skin crawling. I pulled away from the touch. Not ready for human contact just yet. Especially when I couldn't see where it came from.

"What angers you? Causes you to shy away, to lash out? Is it because I remember? Remember the love you have for me? The love I have for you? What is it Clarke?!" her words almost hissed by the end.

She wouldn't understand because she doesn't know.

"You lived through your future while I lived through mine," the words hollow sounding.

Finally I turned around. She was standing there honestly looking like a mess. Her hair was wasn't brushed and her eyes looked just as wild as mine. For hells sake she was still wearing her night dress.

"Why the hell aren't you dressed?" my voice raising.

"How could you go out like that? You are Heda. Never once have I seen you look like this," the words harsh.

"I needed to see you! I haven't truly seen you in over four years Clarke! Did you think that I would care what the others would see?" her words barely above a whisper as she stalked forward.

"Now tell me what you saw. What turned you into this? You are acting like a young warrior who has just started their training. Your anger is taking over and clouding your thoughts. Clarke you threw a water pot at one of guards because he didn't leave your tent. To make matters worse you threw a cot at me. A cot!"

I took a step forward into her space. Her eyes seemed to glow bright like green fire as anger swirled in her eyes. "He pushed and right now you are pushing," words coming out snarled.

"What are you going to do? Throw another cot at me?"

My anger quickly deflated at that. "I didn't look when I threw it. I thought it was that guard again."

"You mean the guard that I sent so that others wouldn't see me like this," gesturing to herself. Taking in how it was that damn night gown that has a slit that runs from the floor to her upper thigh as well as showing off her cleavage.

My mind stalling for a solid couple of seconds before jerking my eyes away. "I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I just wanted to be left alone. I just had to relive through all my memories. Went through things that only appeared in my nightmares. Live through torture, losing my loved ones, and watching my people become nothing more than dust in the wind. So please tell me how I was supposed to act because instead of living through it over four years i lived through it in minutes but still felt everything. So tell me oh great Heda how I was supposed to act," part of myself was sick with how I was speaking to her knowing I should be ecstatic that she remembered me. That she is the woman who I love and not someone who just looked like her.

Lexa's eyes narrowed in anger. Her back straightened as she took another step forward. Her breath caressed my face.

Lexa didn't say anything but grabbed a hold of my hand before pulling me along after her. She stopped at the bed and laid down. Moving backward until she was in the middle of the bed.

"Come here," green eyes still alight in anger. A part of me nervous before letting it fall away when she gave me a small smile.

Slowly I moved forward nervous, skin tingling in slight fear. Touching others after an episode like this was always dangerous. A couple of times it had led to me assaulting them.

I laid down on my back, arm barely touching Lexa.

She snorted. The fucking Commander just snorted. Her left arm reached over grabbing a hold of my right arm in a strong grip and pulled me over. She met no resistance.

My head rested gently against Lexa's chest. Her heart beat a strong and steady rhythm that slowly let me relax. The tension in my shoulders and back slowly released. I flinched harshly when she gently touched my back. Her hand didn't move until my muscles unclenched.

Fingers gently run up and down my spine just like I had done to her all those years ago. Tears filled my eyes at that memory, arm slowly reaching over and pulling myself closer to her. Her other arm coming around to hold me tightly.

Her heart sped up, breathing becoming raged and choppy. Then a sob sounded through the room, it was loud and felt like a hammer smashed into my chest from the pain.

I pulled her tighter to me as my own tears fell onto her chest. "I won't let that happen again. Titus' life is forfeit. Nothing can be done about Azgeda as of yet but Nia won't wait long to play her cards once this is over. I shall have my blood and you shall have yours. Ontari is worse than a monster Clarke. She was raised to be the Queen's attack dog since she could walk. And if someone takes you and harms you? Then I shall unleash the full might of our armies. I will lay waste to their lands for you just like I know you would do the same," her fingers carded through my hair at her words.

The love I felt for her washed heavily through my body. That piece in my chest unclenched and desire swept through my veins replacing all of my left over anger.

Pushing myself up, I placed my forehead against hers. Eyes that were wet with tears that should never fall. Hand reaching up to wipe away the tears.

Soft lips met mine as she pulled us together. A wanton moan slipping into our kiss. Her kisses are just as amazing as I had remembered them to be.

Fire coursed through my veins once more as she pulled me impossibly closer. My tongue venturing out as it softly touched her lips in hope she would allow me entry.

Her lips parted and then my tongue fought against hers for dominance but my need was greater. My strength over powering hers and I was quick to explore the expanse of her mouth. God she tasted so good. Hands turned into claws when I ground myself into her.

Her hair was so soft and caught almost immediately in her stray curls, instead of letting go using it as leverage for myself to pull her up to me. Lexa releasing her own moan when I pulled sharply onto her hair. Neither of us wanted soft. Soft was for later after we were reacquainted. The need was too strong

Letting go of her hair, my hands suck behind her back and I rolled us until she was on top. Fingers slowly crawling up her chest just barely touching her breasts through the soft fabric. Her groaning in disappointment at the loss of my touch.

Only to let loose a small breath of air when I pulled the straps down her arm. Lexa quickly got the message as to what I was trying to do and instead of staying on top rolled off the bed. I growled at the loss of her heat. At the loss of her heavenly weight on top of me.

Sitting up my eyes were glued to her form. Her back was facing me and ever so slowly she let the straps fall down her arms. The dress making a magical sound as it hit the floor.

"Lexa," I growled out when she just stood there. I needed her now. Needed to feel her muscles clench around my fingers.

"Sha, Klark?" Voice full of mischief. I turned myself in her direction my feet now firmly planted on the ground. Hands holding the furs in a tight grip to keep from grabbing her.

The only article of clothing on her was a tight pair of boy shorts that kept her mouth watering ass from my sight. Her ascension tattoo was just as beautiful the last time I had seen it. My fingers twitching with the need to touch.

Then ever so slowly she finally turned, her hands covering her breasts. She stalked closer to me and straddled my lap. My eyes didn't leave hers as I pulled her arms away from her chest, letting them rest on my shoulders.

Rated MA for mature audiences (I'll make a note of when it's over.)

Eyes lowered and I finally took her in. Her nipples already hard but the desire quickly vanished when I finally take notice of the red mark that was from me throwing the cot. Shame filled me.

She lifted my chin with a delicate finger and brought her lips down for another kiss. Only stopping once I started to get into it once more. "You didn't mean too. I have hurt others in acts of anger before. Just feel me," words ghosted over my lips before she leaned back giving me enough room to look down once more.

Her hands snaked down once more and grabbed mine. Pulling them up and letting me touch her once more. Her rough hands covering mine as I squeezed them.

Head reaching forward, lips latched onto her neck. Roughly biting into her delicate skin. Lexa hissed only for it to turn quickly into a wanton moan when I soothed the pain with my tongue.

Tracing a wet tongue down her neck to her chest before taking her left nipple in my mouth. Hands pulled my mouth further into her chest. My left hand still gently massaging her right peak. Anytime I rolled her nipple in my hand she moaned once more.

I released her peak with a slight pop before gently blowing cold air, somehow hardening further. Groaning at the sight before I gave the right breast the same treatment.

This time my hand slowly teased her skin as I lowered my hand down to the waistband of her panties. Lexa's breathing turning heavier as my hand teased the top of her fine hairs.

Finally my hand slipped in and I couldn't stop my own load moan at the wetness that was found. Finger tip just lightly grazing her hardened clit. Slowly moving back to lightly tease her entrance before grazing her hardened nub once more.

"Jok! Don't tease me Clarke," words unsteady as I lightly teased with just the tip of my finger slipping in. The hand holding my hair tightened to pull my head back from the breast I was still lightly sucking.

Sky blue met forest green and then fingers finally slipped into heaven. She closed her eyes and her head fell back at the sudden intrusion.

Curling my fingers I let it drag over the sponge like tissue inside as I slowly pulled them out to just the tip of two fingers before slamming back into her, my palm making sure to rub against her clit as worked my hand steadily into her.

Her muscles started to tighten further with each thrust. Breathing turned ragged as I basked in the glory that was Lexa. Her arousal heavy in the air.

A moan seemed to build up from deep within Lexa's chest as I quickened the pace barely giving her a complete pass over of her clit with the heel of my hand. Head falling forward onto my shoulder as she gave a hard shudder with another deep moan.

"So close," she managed to voice through clenched teeth. My smirk was sinister at those words.

Her muscles clenching tighter around my fingers making it harder for me to pull out at the pase I had been going.

Right as her teeth latched onto my shoulder, I added my pointer finger. I groaned at the pain as she released a scream into the flesh of my shoulder. Her pussy spasming as I continued my assault. The flood of wetness made it easier for me to quicken my pace.

Each thrust was met with another moan. Another moan that raised my own arousal. Already knowing that I was drenched.

Lexa moved in time with my thrusts. The slight fall of her body perfectly in time with each push inside her wet channel.

I could hear it. The sounds of my fingers fucking her was so incredibly hot. She was the only woman that when I brought her pleasure it brought me mine.

"God you're so fucking tight, Heda."

My words emphasized with an extra hard thrust. No words came from her lips except for another moan. My hand was cramping but I didn't care. The strain pushed me forward. Challenged me to get her off quicker. I wanted her to only be able to say my name. To not be able to think of anything else except the pleasure only I could give her.

With particular sharp twist of her nipple Lexa came undone once more. She moaned my name as her muscles seemed to lock my hand inside of her.

I wasn't done though. I needed more. Needed to touch more of her. Fingers finally pulled themselves free. Lexa barely making a sound as she tried to get her breathing down under control.

My entire hand was drenched when I pulled it from her shorts. Fingers were so wet that I could even see a slight drop rolling down my middle finger.

Falling into temptation I licked my finger clean making sure that she was staring at me when I did. Her eyes seemed to glow as she sucked in a particularly big breath of air.

I sucked my finger clean before moving on to the rest of my hand. Each lick was slow as green eyes followed my pink tongue. Once my hand was clean I pulled her in for another kiss. Making sure to push my tongue into her mouth and letting her taste herself.

My moan joined hers. Hands slowly lowered down to her ass before sliding down under her thighs as I lifted her up. Legs straining slightly under the weight but ignoring it when hers wrapped around my waist.

Turning while still kissing, I lowered her once more on to her back on the bed. Hand reaching around to her front and almost ripping her shorts down her beautiful legs. Resting back on my knees once they were finally off.

Moaning at the sight that awaited me. Her clit was still swollen in her arousal, with a slow steady stream of slick juices almost dripping from her pussy.

"You are so beautiful Lexa," voice soft as my eyes finally left the delicious sight to look at her flushed face. Hair was already sticking to her forehead. The light causing her green eyes to glow and my heart gave a painful beat as love coursed through my entire body.

I didn't even think and just spoke. _"Ai hod yu en, Leska._ I need you to know. I never told you before but I need you to know just in case," my words rushed after the initial confession.

Her eyes softened and it was like that final wall up slipped away at my words. Hand reaching for mine as she created the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. It burned away everything until it was just her. I didn't care what I had to do but I would always work towards this smile.

" _Ai hod yu en, Klark,"_ her eyes watering.

Rushing forward I pressed my mouth once more to hers. Emotion built up as well as the tears that slowly slipped past my shut eyes.

The kiss turned more violent as we started our dance for dominance anew. She hooked her arms around my back and tried to flip our positions but instead just growled into our kiss as I lightly bit her lip. Letting go once she stopped trying. I smirked into the kiss as I felt her frown.

My mouth slowly moved down her chin and around to her ear load which I nibbled on. Her groan of disappointment quickly vanished into a small gasp of pleasure.

My tongue then making a path down her chest, only stopping to lightly caress each breast before trailing further down her chest. I spent a couple seconds just lightly circling her belly button, enjoying how her muscles clenched. Hands trying to push me down to reach where she truly wanted me.

I let her push me down to where my head was equal with her hip bone when I struck. My teeth quickly sunk into skin as i started to suck. Wanting to leave a large hickey where only I could see.

She groaned in slight discomfort at how strong I was sucking on her skin. Pulling my hair once it became to much and I released the skin with a pop.

My tongue then soothed the hickey I had left, trying to apologize in a way for how it must have hurt before continuing down once more. Lexa just as the last time was lightly trimmed. Moaning loudly when I took a deep breath in. She smelled amazing. Lightly pungent but sweet enough to smell good.

Blowing a cool stream of air onto her clit she shuddered. Quickly she spread her legs onto my back and hooked her ankles together. Hands instantly tangling themselves in my hair.

Lightly I nosed her clit before taking a slow lick up from the bottom of her pussy to the top of clit. Her juices coating my tongue heavily. Both of us moaning as the same time. Tongue flicking forward once more to taste her clit.

I could faintly feel her pulse when I broadened my tongue to lie flat and licked up once more. As though I was licking a lollipop. Making sure to swipe my tongue left to right when it moved back down.

My fingers inched forward and lightly circled her slick entrance once more. Her fingers digging into scalp before releasing the tight hold and ran her fingers through the strands.

When my tongue flicked her clit once more my fingers easily slid into her wet heat. Pulling out when I ran my flat tongue up her clit only to push in when I made my downwards dissent.

I continued this pattern and couldn't help when i shifted my knees under me and began to touch myself. I couldn't wait and a large part of my wanted to cum with Lexa. Thanks to her thighs holding my shoulders in a tight grip I was able to keep the same rhythm without falling over onto her.

Muscles began to tighten once more around my fingers. My own release closing in as the tightening in my lower abdomen increased. Making sure to try and not rub myself to hard that I came to soon. Looking up I met Lexas own emerald green as she watched me pleasure her.

My breathing quickened as I continued my steady rhythm on her. The muscles tightened suddenly and then I was coming. Stars burst before my eyes. Thankfully Lexa coming at the almost exact same time as I quickly lost the ability to focus with my orgasm and how Lexa's pussy muscles continued to clench and unclench around my fingers.

Her legs relaxed and I barely had enough time to shift over so that I was using part of her leg as a pillow. Lexa's fingers still gently running through my hair.

Eyes slowly opened to see her breathing heavily while staring at the ceiling with a content smile stretched across her face. Her whole body seemed to be relaxed for the first time since I returned.

The last of the tension finally fell away as I slowly dozed on her thigh. My body and mind almost falling asleep when someone began pounding on the door to the room. I growled in slight anger at our moment being ruined.

Lexa seemed to have fallen asleep. Good.

Slowly rising from the bed not to wake her, I pulled a fur up and covered her naked form from view because if anyone saw her in such a state their death would be quick and in no way painless.

The pounding happened once more and just ended when I ripped the door open. Eyes promising pain as I harshly asked what. Only to realize that it was Gustus who had some stupid ass grin on his face.

My hand twitched with the need to hit him. "The generals will arrive within the next candle mark and I wanted to let you know so you didn't get to carried away but going off how you answered the door you already have. I will send some servants to fill the water tub with warm water. Be in awake when they arrive," then the large man turned but stopping just before turning the corner.

His eyes were as cold as ice "If you ever do what you did this morning you shall face me in combat. I do not take kindly to those who hurt Lexa. The only reason I haven't acted is because Lexa seemed to know what was going on but do not let it happen again," then he was gone.

Rubbing the back of my neck I closed the door. As soon as the door closed a naked body pressed me against the metal. Arms wrapping around my waist with one hand snaking its way into my pants.

"You left before I could return the favor," Lexa's voice was pure sin and it didn't stop the moan from slipping past my lips.

God this woman.

Her fingers began to run circles around my clit as I pressed my face further into the frame. The cold of the metal doing nothing to cool the fire burning through my veins.

A moan slipping past my lips when Lexa fastened her teeth into the juncture of my neck. I could feel each tooth as it dug in and as the tongue curled and sucked hard.

Another moan escaped when she gave a particularly hard pass over my sensitive clit. Pleasant shock waves shooting through my system with each pass.

"So close," my words muffled slightly by the door. Her fingers then switching to a cross like pattern. Each swipe steadily gaining in speed.

Lexa unclamped her jaw from my neck and with a single swipe of her tongue over the aching area I was cumming. Lightning striking through my body. The electrical current all originating from my most sensitive area.

All my muscles tensing then shuddering as aftershocks continued to plague me.

End of MA scene*

The sound of feet slowly making their way down the stairs spurred me into action. Turning I grabbed Lexa into a bridal hold ignoring the cute squeak as I hurried to the bed and threw furs over her body.

The final fur in place when a knock sounded from the door only to open a second later. Two maids or servants entered the room with metal pots not even looking in our direction. They must have been warned. The sound of water splashing sounds through the room. It was quickly followed by the same noise but not as loud as more water was added to wherever they were putting it.

Lexa shifted to sit up but kept the furs across her naked chest. Her eyes were staring intently at the servants. Watching their every move. Not looking away until they had left the room.

Finally she dropped the furs and I couldn't help but stare. Her eyes darkened as she looked at me. Desire once more curling through my lower belly with that one look alone.

Then her face evened out once more and she stood from the bed. Finally I was able to see the full extent of what we had done. She had two bites on her neck. One darker than the other with teeth marks visible.

"Come. You can help me clean myself since you are the one to put me in such a state, _Klark."_

Following after her like a lost puppy as she swayed her hips with each step. She peeked back at me with a wicked smirk on her lips. "Sadly you took up the small amount of time we had left."

We passed the large divider that kept her bathroom from view. The tub wasn't very elegant but it was large enough for her to sink most of her body in.

Her bath was quick as we only had a small amount of time before the generals arrived. Thankfully it didn't seem like any were out earlier this morning to see my violent outburst. Though maybe someone did and they would fuck with me.

When Lexa finally left the tub and walked over to some leathers she used as a towel someone had entered once more with a small plate of fruit and some cheeses. It looked tasty. Especially if that was goat cheese.

Where Lexa's armor sat was mine as well. It seemed someone had brought in the rest of my clothing. Just now remembering that I was shirtless and had no shoes. My feet no longer burning from the small scrapes.

Quickly I washed my feet making sure that no stone or twig was left as I really didn't need an infection right now before putting on my socks and then my boots.

Reaching out my hand barely touched the leather for the straps of my knives that went on my thighs as it seemed I was considered important enough to keep my weapons. My eyes glanced to see Lexa with a cheeky grin across her face and she kneeled down and wrapped the leather cords tight. Her hand grazing my crotch as she stood back up.

Reaching out I pulled her in for a quick kiss. "It seems you are cheekier than I remember."

Lexa pulled away and began to work on her own armor. Eyes intently watching as she slowly and methodically strapped each belt. "I have learned from my time after my death that I don't need to be a robot. I can truly be myself around those I trust and if I can't be free around you then who could I be?"

Her sentence ended with one last click as she strapped the dual blades onto her back. The only thing left of my armor was my gauntlets that held my throwing knives. Though the slash kept getting in my way as I was trying to buckle the sides, ignoring how Lexa would sometimes laugh at my struggles.

"When this day is over we need to discuss what else that we need to do for the survival of our people," her eyes down caste as she bit into an orange slice.

"Have you told someone to begin looking for the farm station that landed in Azgeda?" A large part of me on edge hoping that we would get there in time before they are attacked by the Ice Nation.

"Sha, I talked to the warriors that went with Indra as well as Kane. I believe they are going to send our scouts and warriors to find your people. Each group with have at least one Sky person so they know that we are not the enemy."

"Good strategy. I don't believe they have encountered any Ice Nation warriors just yet because Pike spoke of how they didn't appear until the first snow. Which shouldn't happen until over a months time."

I popped the last bit of goat cheese in my mouth before washing it down with some ale that was left at the table.

Gustus chose that moment to walk through the door making sure to eye both of us up and down. Though he did stop on the marks we left on each other's throat. "It seems you both remember," his words causing Lexa to actually choke on her drink.

I couldn't help but laugh at the poor woman as she banged her fist into her chest. "You knew?" Her voice slightly shrill most likely from the shock.

"Of course, why did you think I didn't beat Clarke into the ground this morning. It was because in all my years by your side I have never seen you as troubled as you were this morning. You ran from these chambers in sleeping clothes, Heda."

I cleared my throat when I noticed the candle mark finally passed. "Is it time yet?"

Gustus just nodded his head and Lexa looked as though she flipped a switch as her mask came crashing down once more. This should be fun.

TIME SKIP*

I forgot how much of a dick Quint was. I have spent more than half this meeting with my fingers digging into my palms after every time this moron speaks. It was finally reaching the tipping point and going off of how tense both Lexa and Gustus were becoming they knew it as well. There is only so much disrespect I can take.

Quint smashed his fists into the table. "All she offers is no," he growled at me before turning to the Commander.

She just waved him off as she stared him down. "Quint."

"Apologies, Commander. But the biggest army we've ever had waits for us to give it a mission. The longer that takes, the more of our people die inside that mountain."

"It's the same for all of us…" I started to speak to at least try and reason with the bull headed man.

"We've lost thousands. How many have you lost, girl?" his tone mocking.

"She says she has a plan. I say waiting for one man to get inside isn't a very good one."

Another one of the generals leaned forward onto the table. "I agree with Quint. We have army, so let's use it."

I couldn't help it and I laughed. It came from deep inside before slowly turning into a cackle. Setting many in the room on edge, especially those from the Ark.

I pulled my shoulder dagger from its sheath and pointed to an area far away from the mountain to almost the edge of the table. Slowly I dug the sharp tip into the soft material that made up the map and began to slowly walk around the table. Many moving out of my way as I walked.

"Do you know what this line means?" Lexa didn't say anything but watched me like a predator does prey.

"What does it mean girl?" Quint sneered at me.

The man didn't move when I finally reached him. Instead he stepped into my personal space, my skin itching at such personal contact. The darker part of my mind wanting me to dig the dagger into his neck and watch with a smile as he bleeds out all over the floor.

"This line represents the edge of the acid fog. Now I am not entirely sure how smart you are but there is no safe way to cross this line with our army of thousands. I mean if you want to be burned alive by the very air itself then go right ahead. I'll watch it happen with a smile on my face. I'm sure our enemy will do the same."

My dagger ripped out of the table and stopped a hair's width away from the man's neck before I returned it back onto my shoulder.

"You are the enemy," he snarled at me.

Ignoring the man, I twisted around him and ended up in the spot I began. "But you see now we are in an alliance. An alliance that Heda accepted. So unless you want to make this personal then step back."

"You made it personal when you burned my brother alive in the ring of fire," his voice almost soft.

I felt no remorse for him. I had lost hundreds more than him. One man's death is nothing compared to my suffering.

"It was war and if he didn't want to die then he shouldn't have attacked my ship or my people," this time it was me who stepped closer. My fingers toying with the grip of my dagger.

"You're very brave under the commander's protection, aren't you?" He taunted.

Snarling at the man, my hand gripped the handle as I ripped it from its sheath and barely stopped in time when Lexa spoke for us to stop.

He backed away his locked on the dagger tip that was close to his groin. _"I can't be in an alliance with these people."_

" _Then leave!"_ I roared at the man.

"Clarke, _en pleni!,"_ she ordered. Part of me wanted to rebel. To rush forward and push the dagger in deep. Watch as he slowly bleeds to death under my feet.

"My apologies," my words forced and clipped.

"Have you received any word yet from Bellamy?" She finally asked me.

"No, he left earlier this morning. He isn't scheduled to check in until tomorrow. This should give him enough time to find a safe place to hide and try to gather the information we need about the acid fog system and how to bring it down for good."

My mind flashing to the before and how it took Bellamy two or three days before he contacted us. "Most likely Lincoln will return before he makes it to a place to contact us."

"You believe this girl, Commander? You believe she can do something that we haven't ever been able to do? That her people will be any different? We should kill them now while we have the chance, before they get hold of the mountain men's weapons and end us."

I snorted. "You believe that the only reason that my people want to get rid of the mountain is to take their place?"

"I don't answer to you," Quint spoke but his eyes told the whole story. He believed what he spoke of.

"Who told you this?" I snarled.

"I don't need someone to tell me something that I already know. You wear the same thing as them, you carry the same weapons, and you speak the same language."

"You are a close minded fool, Quint. I need air Commander."

I didn't even wait for Lexa's response before I was out the door. I didn't go far and stayed at the edge of the village where the villagers couldn't see me but I could see them. Nowhere near as far as I was in the first time line. The pauna not something I wish to experience again anytime soon. One time was enough.

My mind slowly shut down as I took deep calming breaths. Trying to calm my emotions down and not allow for the slim crack in my sanity to widen.

Something thunked next to me face. The arrow tip just grazing my cheek. Hand reaching up and feeling as the small cut began to bleed heavily.

"Not so brave now, are you, sky girl?

My blank face broke out into a manic grin. The man had drawn first blood and once first blood is split I have ever right to retaliate and to even further my case his actions are dishonorable. No true warrior attacks from the shadows, the only ones to do so are assassins and Quint is too large as well as having too many defining features to be an assassin.

Hands reached back and gripped throwing daggers in both hands, not even waiting for them to hit the man as I shot forward. My laugh echoing through the trees. Many of the villagers and guards taking note to what was happening.

I didn't care. I wanted my blood and now I would have it.

The first dagger missed as it went to wide but the second hit the man square in the shoulder. Luckily for me it was the main arm the man used for his bow unless he learned how to use both arms. Something that not many archers learn how to do.

The man screamed in pain from the sudden hit. My laugh echoing through the frees. My cackle morphing into what a hyena sounded like.

Hands reached back grabbing another two and throwing in quick succession. This time both daggers hit him. One pins his left hand to his shoulder with the second landing further down his arm, not quite long enough to go completely through.

He barely had enough time to ripe his hand with the knife out of his shoulder when I tackled him. Making to land with my legs pinning his sides down. Hand reaching up the my shoulder knife and slit his throat, the dagger long enough to stick out of his throat.

Hot blood hit me in the face as his heart continued to beat the vital fluid out of his body. His hands reaching up trying to pull the dagger from his throat but my grip was firm as I kept the knife firmly lodged in his throat. His eyes wide with fear.

"Its ok. Don't worry, Quint. Your fight is over and I have my blood. Your spirit will be released from your body and will rejoin that of your brother. Next time you should be more careful of those you cross."

By the end of my little speech his eyes had closed and my forehead was firmly pressed against his. I ripped the dagger from his throat ignoring how more of his blood hit me.

I wiped the blood off of my dagger onto his coat, making sure to categorize each of the items that Quint possessed. Items that now rightfully belonged to me by dishonorably attacking me. A crime usually met by 10 lashes.

"Who attacked first?" Eyes trailing up to see Lexa, as well as the other generals. The one who had sided with Quint earlier seemed extremely nervous now to look me in the eye. Leaning down once more, I made sure to rip the rest of my daggers from his corpse.

"Quint did. He tried to kill me dishonorably, so now everything he owns belongs to me," voice raised in slight glee because I could always use a bow and arrows.

Patting down all his pockets and only finding medical herbs. I rolled the mans body over to pull the quiver from his back. It was nicely made especially considering that we fell on it, with my weight added and the wood keeping its shape didn't crack.

He was my first grounder that I have killed that wasn't Ice Nation or one of the clans allied with them. Normally Trikru near the end helped my people considering the good relationship we had built and it stayed once Pikes rag tag army fell apart.

"He needs to be given a proper pyre and I need to get cleaned. Is there any problems that i should worry about, Heda?"

"No. You were well within the law to act accordingly. His remaining possessions will be brought to you once they can retrieved. We shall continue discussions tomorrow."

"Sha, Heda."

Lexa quickly fell in step with me and when I went to return to my assigned tent, her fingers lightly touched my arm before heading to hers. I didn't argue and was quick to follow.


	7. Coup De Grace

I have finally posted this not only on but also Articles of our Own as well.

I am so sorry that it took so long to update but I have been getting busier as I get older it seems. Also doesn't help that I have now joined a rugby team limiting the time I had. I'm also getting ready to move to my first apartment and move out from my parents' home. Which has honestly been a long time coming. I may have pushed back the writing of this chapter to give myself enough time to write down what I specifically wanted to happen. Originally the first half of this chapter was super depressing and made me feel sad just reading it. I also realized that I was taking away from the strength that I had been giving Clarke, so I started over. I really am trying to keep things equal in terms of bad ass, but Clarke will be kick ass in the chapters to come. This chapter contains her first true interactions with the Mountain Men in this new timeline in this chapter.

Anyone else watch season 8 of Game of Thrones? I loved the first 2 or 3 episodes and then it just went downhill from there. I don't like what they did with Deanery's character. The last episode just pissed me off and I'm still salty about it.

I own nothing

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

I was the first to step into Lexa's chambers and knew that she would be awhile until she returned because of having to speak to the generals. It looked as though we weren't going to continue to plan today. I mean our plans aren't going to be solidified until Bellamy finally radios us.

After throwing myself into a chair, I leaned back trying to relax. Ignoring how the blood was drying on my face and hands. The dried blood all along my knuckles cracking from the tightening of my fist. Knowing I should clean it off now or else it will be a bitch to clean off, but the chair was covered in furs to soften it. The furs made the chair comfortable enough for me to sink further into them, enjoying how it wasn't hard or uncomfortable, something that I was entirely too familiar with.

The metal doors hinges groaned as they were once more opened and then subsequently closed. Her footsteps barely making a sound as they walked across the concrete of the ground.

"Took you long enough. It feels like it's been forever since we've been alone dear one," voice quiet but slightly husky as I crack one eye open to see her.

Lexa just huffs out a laugh as she slowly unlaces the bindings on her gauntlets.

"Well when you leave a mess like that, it takes a while for me to handle everything," she says sarcastically, tossing the gauntlet onto the table.

"I didn't leave a mess," opening my other eye to watch her. Happiness bubbling through my body as I watch her do something as mundane as untie the bindings.

"Yes you did. You left me to have the body taken and wrapped to ready for his burning. I also had to calm down the other generals who believe that you are lying about who started the conflict since no one was present when the altercation began."

Lexa ended her sentence dropping the other gauntlet on the table, hands rubbing where the leather was probably chafing against her skin. I could barely stop the slight snarl. Annoyed that they would feel so threatened and to question my honor.

"There opinions mean nothing to me Heda. Only yours," not taking my eyes off of her when she stops and looks to me. Her eyes betray nothing as she stares, as though searching my very soul.

My jaw is set as I finally sit up.

Her eyes trail down to my hands, narrowing when she notices the dried blood before returning. Lexa's face relaxes once she seems to find what she is looking for.

"I know you Clarke. I also know Quint. That man while he is a great warrior and leader, he has…had a short temper. He had been disciplined more than once for actions he has taken against those under him."

By this point she had walked over grabbing a bowl that was filled with water before coming over to me. The bowl barely made any noise as she set it down.

Lexa then kneeled as she grabbed hold of my right hand. My heart picked up seeing her like that, the memory of the last time she had done such a thing. My chest tightening at the thought.

The water felt cool against my skin as she slowly used a rag to wipe away all the blood. The action shocking me from my thoughts, and I couldn't help but smile at her as she worked, taking extra time to kiss each finger once clean.

My body seemed to almost buzz or hum in pleasure as she worked. With every swipe of the rag I sunk deeper into the chair and allowed myself to relax. We had never done something like this in the previous timeline. Nothing this intimate. While sex could be considered such a thing, this felt different.

"I also remember what he tried to do last time. I am not surprised that he tried the same thing once more. Though it does worry me slightly that he was brazen enough to try something like that so close to the village," she sounded almost worried by the end, her shoulders seeming to straighten up.

"As you have told me before, that man thought of only that moment. He allowed his anger to guide him and this time it ended with his death."

Lexa just hummed in agreement as she continued to work.

"They don't fear me anymore, Leksa. I have been feared for years and I am not sure how I feel about such a thing changing."

My hands clench in the sudden surge of anger at my words. Lexa barely getting her hand or the cloth out of the way, her eyes trailing back up to mine.

"Is it because you like to be feared? Or that it protected your people better?" eyes narrowed at me, as she waited for what I had to say.

Wasn't that question the crux of the problem though? It had been so long that a part of me loved that I was feared. I reveled in it. A darker part of me that built itself up and grew as the years went by loved it. Loved to see the fear in their eyes when they saw my hair and eyes. How eyes would widen when taking in the scars that covered my face. I could never help but smile with too many teeth seeing such a thing. This part of me loved the fight, enjoyed seeing the life fade from their eyes as their life's blood slowly poured out of their bodies.

I was so lost for so many years in the madness of battle. I would put myself in dangerous situations so that I could see that fear. So that I could bathe in their blood. Many a time I would kill a top ranked warrior and place the head upon a spike where more of Ontari's forces would find it.

The only times I never felt such euphoria was when I saw this look upon a normal citizens face. To see it on villagers who were just trying to stay alive while Ontari ruled with an iron fist. When I saw it on their face, my stomach would twist, and I would feel sick. Children would run and hide in fear when they saw my face and gods did it hurt. I wanted warriors to fear me. Those who raised up arms in the name of their Commander, Ontari. I didn't want those stuck under her to fear me.

It took Raven threatening me for me to open my eyes.

The few that did not fear me were those who were left of Skaikru and the few Trikru that joined our ranks. They respected me for my strength as I worked tirelessly to keep them safe but there were times when my position as leader had been tested.

It was such a strange give and take. To protect those that I loved and cared for meant so much to me. The children always wanted to hear a story of the great Heda, hear of the time in the Ark. Hear stories of when we weren't at war. Sometimes it would help bring me back from the edge of allowing my blood lust to control my thoughts and actions. It helped ease something inside because they never looked at me in fear. Of the 10 children that managed to live through every move and hard ship that we faced, one of them followed me like a duckling follows its mother. Her mother died shortly after giving birth to her due to something tearing inside of her, nothing that was done helped though. Maybe if we had technology from the Ark. She bled out slowly and was barely able to hold her child before she passed on. I tried to take care of her as much as I could but at times it was difficult. I would be gone for long stretches of time but whenever I returned she was always there waiting for me. It was a strange thing, but I loved her.

Aurora was my favorite child, even though her looks hurt me. It was like looking into the face of a child of Lexa and me. Even though that wasn't possible thanks to no longer having the technology as it was destroyed not only with the mountain but also with the end of Arkadia. My mother spoke of a few times of it was possible for two women before the fall of humanity to have children together. (a.n. it's a real thing. A couple in Dallas had a child that way)

She would watch me as I trained and a few times I had considered taking her on as my second if I had made it until she was older. Now though I know the likelihood of her being born again is slim to none. Her mother Anne had slept with a grounder and never told us who. Wasn't that a dark thought though, knowing that I might never see the one that I thought of as a daughter ever again. I know that Lexa would have adored her, as she did with all of her nightbloods. Lexa loved any child. I had seen her in Polis a few times with guards around her as she made sure to stop and talk to every child that came her way. The smile never leaving her face as she did so.

Aurora, along with the help of Raven, kept me from losing all my humanity. Kept me from becoming a leader like Pike, who would kill or imprison those who did not agree with him. Raven more so because she was one of the few that could get away with yelling or even hitting me when I started to become too militaristic. As well as threatening to not allow any of the children to come near me if I didn't realize what I kind of example I was setting for them. Aurora had just turned 3 and I had threatened to kill one of my people for not being careful and forcing us to relocate.

Raven at this point had to use a cane to help her walk around as her leg had gotten worse when a horse had trampled her. The cane was metal and used to be some kind of pipe. She had smashed the thing across my back and began to scream and yell at me. Yelling that I was becoming another version of Pike and Ontari. That if Lexa saw me or even my own mother, hell even Octavia would be disappointed in me. They knew I could be a good leader, but I wasn't acting like one and if I didn't change the way I was behaving then she would take over command of our people and would banish me. Her words hurt more than my back did, my armor not protecting me much from the blow.

No one said anything until Rollo came forward and said that he agreed with Raven. I was becoming too unhinged to be leader. A few of the other adults even spoke out against what I was becoming. Telling me that they followed me because they respected me, but that respect was turning into fear and they wouldn't follow someone out of fear. Stating that they had enough things to fear already.

"For a while I reveled in being feared but it caused drawbacks. The only ones who weren't completely afraid or even terrified of me were my own people. I would walk into villages and if any of the villagers saw my face, they would hide indoors. Children would run away. For some time I didn't care… I mean why would I? It filled me with joy and power to see many cower before me. I didn't realize that I was becoming the very same thing my people were running from," barely taking note of how tight my fist was.

Lexa's fingers slowly pried open my fists once blood began to drip from the wounds formed from my uncut nails. Her eyes dark as she stared at my own black blood.

"I realized though that that wasn't a healthy way to live. Well more like Raven smashed some sense into me," I chuckled as I rubbed my hand against the back of head. Laughing once more when Lexa gave a huff of annoyance because I was rubbing my own blood over the back of my neck and bottom of my hair line.

She pulled my hand away from my neck with a frown. "Seriously Klark. You're getting blood everywhere,"

"I had threatened to kill one of my people because he allowed himself to be seen by scouts of Azgeda. By this point in time Azgeda scouts knew what every adult looked like. He only killed one while the other escaped. At the time we had just found a new place to hide after wondering for almost a month through the northern Trikru land, losing two of my more elderly people. Raven hit me with her cane and said that if I didn't change then she would banish me from my own people. It hit me that I wasn't ruling like I had in the beginning. I wasn't making decisions in the best interests of my people but in the best interests of me."

My hand moved back to grab hold of hers. Grip tight. "There were 10 children left in our 3rd year. One was named Aurora…Lexa you would have loved her! She was so strong willed even at such an early age. She became a protector as she grew; the other children would follow her around. It was so weird to see a child acting in such a way. I was going to take her on as my second; she was less than a year away before she could safely start to train with knives. To train her to take over if I lived long enough."

Tears filled my eyes, Lexa's face blurring as she continued to listen to my words. "I swear it was like looking upon a child made from both of us. She had yours eyes and my hair. It wasn't the threat of banishment that made me change. It was her. She had no mother…no father…but she had me. I would help take care of her when I wasn't busy leading patrols or hunting. The thought of being banished from my people hurt me but the thought of never seeing her again? My very soul cried out in pain at just the thought."

"I changed for her, like you had changed for me. I changed for the better. After that I worked tirelessly to find a safer home. I created stricter rules when it came to us going on patrol or to go out hunting. Raven became the one who was in charge of anything that was at camp. Creating safe rooms, trip mines, and even early warning systems for those at camp to have. My job was to train our warriors. To teach them how to use bow and arrows. To use swords and daggers. Few even becoming very skilled scouts who could vanish into the woods leaving no trail that they were there."

"Of course the woods never saved us completely…" my voice trailing off as my mind wandered.

"Clarke you made your people strong and fought to every last man and woman. You stood strong against the onslaught of not only the Ice Nation but all the clans that were left after Ontari's reign. All of the adults of your people fought until their last breath to protect the next generation. As far as I see, you did everything right. Of course a few mistakes were made along the way but what leader doesn't make them. I have made many over the years. Those times will never come to pass again, this I promise you. This time you will make your people stronger," her hand reaching forward to grab my chin to make look her in the eye.

Eyes burning brighter in her conviction. Fingers tight on my face, hard enough that I knew it would leave marks.

"We will bring about a new age of peace. We will bridge the gap and finally achieve what Becca wanted all those years ago."

Gently I took hold of her hand to bring it up and used it to cup my cheek. Eyes closing slightly at the warmth.

"I am glad that I am here with you, _ai hodness._ My last moments were of how I was finally going to see you. That was the only reason I took the flame. I had completed what I had set out to do all those years ago and was ready to rest…" opening my eyes once more to look at her. Lexa looking almost like she wanted to cry.

"This is better though. This is so much better than I had ever imagined. I would gladly live through all that once more if it meant that I could have this with you again."

Hands sliding through her soft hair bringing her lips to mine. Fire burning through my body at the feeling. Tilting my head further into the kiss, trying to get a better angle only for Lexa to pull back.

I can't help but release a whine. The loss of her lips against mine almost painful.

"You _branwada,"_ affection heavy in her voice.

She stood once more; a hand reached out for me to take. "Come…Let us get clean and then retire. The day was long, and we only have a few more days to have the generals all agree to our plan of attack."

I groan at the thought. Not ready to leave her already. Thanking the all mother that I still a few more days with her before I would not see her for awhile. The thought of being away from her hurt after finally having her back.

* * *

 **-Time Skip-**

My dreams held no single memory of my life but of different small moments. Everything blurring together until I opened my eyes to the Hall of the Commanders.

Jaw popping at the pressure of me clenching my jaw.

There was no one else in the chamber besides Becca.

"What do you want?" I hissed at her. Fingers digging into the arms of my own throne.

Becca's eyes dropped to her lap as she released a heavy sigh. "I need to apologize to you."

My rage growing at her words. "I don't want your apologies. You promised me and then turn your back on it not even a week later. Your words mean nothing. Your actions show your words to Be nothing!"

A heavy pressure seemed to settle on my shoulders pushing my whole body further into my throne. Becca's eyes focused on me, dark with anger. Only for her to shake her head slightly. The pressure disappears and her eyes turning sad once more.

"Clarke, please try to understand. I had no plans to give her the memories, but she asked. If she had not asked then nothing would have been given," trying to justify herself.

My hand slammed down onto the arm rest of the throne once more. "Of course she would ask for them back! She is the Commander. She wants to know so that she can prepare for what lies ahead. You could have given her that and maybe I would not be angry, but you let her remember everything. I wanted to protect her from her death. I wanted her to not see what happened to her people and her coalition. Instead though you gave her everything! You do not even begin to understand how angry I am with you."

Becca seemed to almost shrink in on herself at my words. "Lexa is strong, but you didn't know the damage that could have been done. It felt as though my head split open when I went through time reliving everything in reverse and then once more when you released Lexa's. Accidently making me relive them once more. I relapsed slightly today because of it. I threw a cot at Lexa. I Hurt her!" the anguish clear to hear.

"Clarke. I did not mean for that to happen. If you accept nothing that I tell you, at least accept that. This is the first time that two Commanders have been alive at the same time."

"You should have known! This is your device. You made this."

"Clarke please. I did not know. Please just know that I am sorry. I am so sorry that I broke the promise that I made you."

Finally I stood from the throne. Standing tall as I looked at her. She did look apologetic, but it meant nothing to me. "You have spoken your apology and I have listened. Send me from this place," voice thundering through the room.

Becca looked down once more and waved her arm. The white of the room slowly fading away allowing me to dream once more.

* * *

 **-Time Skip-**

The road to Arkadia was easy to follow. The horse seeming to know what to do as it followed the trail. Part of me glad that I had killed Quint the day before, as my own horse lost a shoe. Instead of waiting for it to fixed and placed once more, I took the brown horse that he had. The animal while quick was not as smooth a ride as my own large black war horse.

It felt nice to be on a horse though even if it wasn't my own. For almost five years I had no such animal. My own horse that for some reason I had named Chuck had to be released into the wild. Too worried that it would suffer a terrible death as many of our other animals had.

My mind wandering back to last night. At Becca's apology. The anger still coursing through my veins, making me curt with Lexa when we had woken. Part of me wishing I had kissed her before leaving the safety of her sleeping area. None of the other Trikru or even my own people had learned yet that Lexa and I were together. It wasn't the time or the place to allow others into our own little world. The only to know was Gustus and he was the only to truly know everything.

This morning after we had woken, he seemed almost worried when he had walked into the war room to let us know that we had to get ready for the day and Lexa had pulled him into a hug. Her arms wrapped tightly around him as she cried slightly into his chest. I had told her how Gustus knew that I had traveled back. He seemed to almost fall into shock for a second before pulling her further into him. Lexa had thanked Gustus for trusting me enough not to try and ruin the alliance. His response was that he couldn't trust Ryder enough to guard her, as he was the better warrior.

Lexa explaining to me how Gustus had been a guard of hers since she was a small child and first came to the capital. He actually had known her father but nothing further than acquaintances. Since the Flame Keepers guild had taken her at such a young she never really knew her own father or even her mother. She hadn't been allowed to contact them once she had arrived in Polis as the man who had been Titus's teacher believed that even being connected to ones parents was weakness. It meant that one would favor a certain clan over the others.

Lexa spoke of how when Costia was taken she received a missive that her home village was attacked by Azgeda. All in the village were killed, including her parents. No one could figure out if the reason the village was attacked was because Costia's mother was also living in the village or because the origin of her parents were found.

The next few days leading to many boring and aggravating talks with the other generals. The only good thing that happened was the increased amount of time that I got to spend with Lexa, including all the times that we were able to have their own sexy times. Of course, I got hit the one time I told her that, as she did not appreciate it being called such a thing.

The trees broke away showing a small little clearing a couple hundred feet wide. Flowers and plants growing everywhere. For some reason this seemed wrong, as though I was missing something important about this area. Slowing down my horse when I notice that my mother has stopped her own just before we break through the edge of the final tree line. I knew I should have put her at the back of the group, then she wouldn't have been able to make all of us stop.

Anger curls through my veins. At her ordering my men to stop when we only had to ride for another thirty minutes before we reached Camp Jaha, as it was currently called. It was already mid-day and I wanted to be able to train with the other warriors when I get there. Mainly just wanting to see how far along Octavia has come. I know that Indra has been there for the past week and she became her second barely a day later. Remembering how quick of a learner she was and knowing that she would hopefully start to show some of the same skill that she had before.

All of the Trikru turn to look at me as I jump down from the barely stopped horse. Strides quickly eating up the distance between my mother and me. She stands up once she collects some water from a puddle. Part of my stomach rolls at seeing that, wondering how many germs and bacteria are in it. Hoping that she plans to put an iodized tablet in the can. I had seen one to many times what happens to those who drink dirty water.

Her eyes take in me as I walk closer. Taking in the war paint that covers much of the upper half on my face before her eyes trail over the stitched closed wound. A wound that is well on its way to being healed enough to have the stitches removed much of the ends of the wound already turning a dark pink from the newly healed skin.

"Why have we stopped?"

Her eyes narrow at the underlining anger in my voice. "You need water and I need to check your wound," her words clipped as she reaches forward to prod at the stitches, checking for inflamed or reddened skin. Eyes' narrowing when she sees how far along the wound has healed.

"I don't need a drink and the wound is fine. I checked this morning. We need to keep moving. We are barely an hour away from Camp Jaha and I need to see if Raven has had any contact with Bellamy yet."

Body already leaning away from her touch and turning towards my horse, ordering all the guards and Trikru to mount back up, and to watch for any Mountain Men that might be lurking around. Many of the Trikru had not gotten down from their own horses. The only ones that had dismounted were the Ark guards.

I barely made it a step away before my arm was grabbed. My right arm quickly reaches for the knife on my left shoulder, fingers wrapped tight around the handle. My mind catching up after a second, taking a lot for me to let the weapon go as I try to calm down. As I convince myself that she won't hurt me, and I allow myself to relax once more but only slightly. "It would be wise for you to let go," I warn her.

My eyes drifting past her slightly to see Ryder with a hand on his sword as he looks down at my mother's hand. Raising my left arm to stop him from pulling the sword from its guard completely.

Abby's eyes move and lock onto the hand Ryder grips his sword with only to see him remove it, but his eyes stay trained on my mother, even many of the other warriors as well are intently looking at her. Looking as though they are waiting for something or even a signal. In a way it actually feels nice but it's sad that I am not getting this kind of respect from my own people or even the same amount of protection as many of the guards are looking at me like I am the dangerous one. "The grounders listen to you."

I can't help but snort when she finally removes her hand. "We are all grounders now, Mom. They are the Trikru, it would be wise to remember that," I warn her. Remembering how xenophobic she was towards them in the beginning. Not trusting anything that they did. The anger and mistrust only disappearing a little before Pike took the position as Chancellor. That needed to change soon. This time Lexa was not going to betray us as we already had a plan that we would enact one we are at the mountain once more.

"We can't trust them, Clarke. You may think you know what's best for us, but you don't. You need to trust that I know what's best for us," she tries to plead.

"As much as I wish that was true, it isn't. We need these people. This is not like before on the Ark, we are finally back on the ground. This means that we are not going to follow those rules that we had up in the sky. The ground is a harsh place and you just came down here. Now I want to go home. We can talk about what is best for us later."

It was easy to see how my words angered her. I didn't care though. Part of me extremely anxious to get away from this place, knowing that I was missing something and it did not help my anger that I couldn't remember what it was.

Finally, I threw myself back up into the saddle of the horse. The horse whining from the sudden weight and I barely stopped the snort at the picky creature.

"Move out!" I ordered.

The Skaikru at the front finally moving their horses into a full gallop. My eyes scan the clearing looking for something. For anything. For any sign that people are moving in the tree line or somewhere they can hide.

Red hot pain shoots through me. My mind remembering why I felt so nervous at the stop. This is where I meet Carl Emmerson for the first time. A man that I would learn to hate with every fiber of my being because he was the reason that everything started turning to shit. His help with destroying Mount Whether allowed Charles Pike to push for the extreme mistrust of all those that are on the ground. He was one of the most well protected people in the entire coalition only just behind Ontari. His actions against Skaikru effectively guaranteed his safety.

The horse screams, as we both go flying. The last thing I see or hear is the large rock as I land hard onto the ground, my mother's scream, and the bark of the gun.

* * *

 **-POV CHANGE-**

Indra looks on with fear as she sees the Skai Heda thrown from her horse, going down hard and then not getting up or even moving. Her heart seeming to almost stop for a second in her chest. Her eyes move back to the Mountain Man who Octavia is about to kill. Feeling vicious satisfaction as she goes to cut his throat before ordering her to stop, realizing that if he is killed then Clarke will not have her vengeance.

Shock and anger crosses Octavia's face but stops anyways. Watching on as the Mountain Man held his thigh while he screamed as his skin blistered and turned red. Octavia moves quickly to the bag next to the dead mountain man and begins to look for something only to stop. Her eyes widen in what can only be horror and fear as she handed the picture to Indra.

Indra snarled at what greeted her in the picture. It was of both the Skai Heda and Heda.

"She was targeted! Send our fastest rider to Ton DC. Someone needs to warn the Commander and let her know what has happened here," Indra had barely completed the order before one of the men who had road over, took off. The hooves of the horse thundering past.

Ryder brought his horse over before jumping down from his saddle. His eyes dark with worry and fear, though quickly changing to anger when he sees the _maunon_.

"How is the Skai Heda?" Abe asked. He was one of the few scouts that watched Clarke's fight with both Gustus and Indra. The man felt she held the same weight and authority that the Commander did for the coalition.

"She lives but is losing blood quickly. The bullet went through her leg and killed the horse. That was why she was thrown. The throw knocked her out. The _fisa_ from Skaikru road ahead with more of our men. She wants to get her to Camp Jaha as quickly as possible. Is he the one that shot her?" he asked, kicking the man in question in his side.

The maunon moaned at the increased pain.

"No. He was a spotter. The one killed was the shooter. If the arrow hadn't hit him she would have died. It threw off the shot."

All eyes turn to look at Octavia whose is only looking down in anger at the man on the ground. Her knuckles white as she grips her sword once more. Already her eyes are red as she holds back tears that she doesn't want to shed. Tears that she didn't think would show over Clarke just getting shot but she had seen her fall from the horse. Felt the horror deep in her chest as she landed and did not move. Fearing that one of her first friends that she had made was now dead. That she would never get to share with her that she a second to not only the leader of Ton DC but also one of the Commander's top generals.

The anger rearing its head once more. Bones in her hand cracking as she looked down at the Mountain Man. Arm twitching with the need to rend his head from shoulders.

"We ride to the Sky people's camp now!"

Abe and Octavia moving quickly to tie the Mountain man up before throwing him over the back of a horse.

Octavia rode next to Indra, the horse's hooves sounding like thunder in her ears, but she had to ask as it was starting to bug her.

" _Fos!_ Why did Abe call Clarke Skai Heda?"

Indra could easily hear the confusion. "Her blood is black as night. Only those who are a _natblida_ can become the Commander. Only they can house the spirit."

"I still don't understand though. Why does that mean she is called Skai Heda?"

"You ask many questions second. She is your old people's leader. Her blood is that of the Commander and she has already shown unbelievable skill as a warrior. She earned her title. Clarke has not only defeated me but also Gustus. Her defeat of Gustus was truly impressive because he has been a guardsman for the Commander for over 20 years. Not once has a Commander lost their life when he was around."

They finally passed the tree line and were able to see Camp Jaha whose gates were still open and even from over 300 yards away could see the large amount of activity happening on the walls and inside.

"The Skai people are not a part of the coalition and this means that until they do, that she is their leader. She is their Commander and unlike the other clans she is one of the only people that are just as powerful as Heda. She is the only one who does not need to bow to our Commander."

* * *

 **-Time Skip-**

Clarke was rushed into the med bay with the mountain man not too far behind. The blood that was originally flowing heavily from the wound had slowed down and only sluggishly bled now. Abby's hands were stained black and she had to use all of her will power to not choke out a sob at the state her daughter was in. Her hand instantly moving to check her carotid artery and finding her pulse was sluggish but not enough to be too dangerous.

"Jackson you treat the mountain man for radiation burns when he comes!" she shouts as she tries to keep her hands steady as she tries to clear away the blood enough to stitch the large hole closed on her leg.

She shouts for someone to bring her a tourniquet, as the one she was currently using was a strip of leather that was not tight enough to do a proper job. Once it was applied the blood flow was slow enough that she could see what she was happening.

Each stitch was perfect, and she was about to order one of the other nurses to help her move her daughter enough that she stitch the inside of her left leg, only for her to be kicked in the face. Blood pouring down her face from the harsh move and she swore that the force of the blow broke her nose, but she knew that it was only because she had never been hit in the face before.

Abby blearily looked up from where she had fallen to floor to see her daughter standing. Clarke's eyes were wild and seemed almost glazed, knowing that her daughter wasn't really there with them at the moment.

Clarke evened out her weight as she went to grab the daggers that were still strapped to her arms, ones that the guards of Camp Jaha didn't have the time to take because she was instantly moved to medical.

This proved to not be the right move as her leg instantly gave out, Clarke letting out a sharp cry of pain as she fell to one knee. Her left arm hanging limply at her side, eyes instantly moving to look at the immobile limb.

Her eyes turned back to look at every one surrounding her. Right hand clutching the dagger and even from a couple feet away she could see how her pupils seemed to almost eclipse the blue.

The moment when Abby is about to order the guards to help her sedate Clarke is when Raven runs into the room skidding to a stop when she sees a pale faced Clarke. Her left eye was blood shot, the burst veins causing her sclera to turn black. Some blood was stuck to her temple turning her hair dark. Raven then sees her torn pant leg, the wound situated there, and her stance.

Her eyes then trail to Abby only to widen when she takes in all the red blood covering the doctors face before shifting back to Clarke. "You need to get back in the bed princess. If you don't they are going to strap you down and give you a sedative. I don't think you want that?"

Clarke's eyes instantly moved from the guards behind Abby whose guns were pointed at her to Raven. She barely stopped the shiver of fear that racked her body at the look. It was a look that she had never seen before on the blonde. The look promised pain and death. She looked like an animal that was injured and cornered and was ready to lash out once more. Ready to strike. Ready to kill.

The look was completed with the large amount of blood that covered her. It was still unsettling to see such strange colored blood coming from a person. The left side of her head was matted, and the hair clung to her neck. Almost the entire left pant leg was gone leaving only her bare skin open to world but even that was covered with dried blood. Even though her left arm still hung uselessly at her side Raven knew that she could still do considerable damage as she seemed to have grabbed the large knife that had been sheathed on her shoulder.

Clarke's eyes seem to clear for a second before rolling back in her skull as she falls forward.

"Shit!" Raven shouts as she rushes forward to help get the blonde back on the bed only to be beaten to it by a large grounder who easily lifts the girl up.

Abby carefully stands and tries to calm her erratic heart. Tries to calm her mind as she tries not to think about what just happened. Tried not to think that her daughters first reaction to waking up after being injured is to lash out.

The large grounder who picked up Clarke gently laid her down on the bed before turning back to Abby. _"Sis au, fisa. Nau."_ (Help her healer. Now)

She didn't know what he said but his eyes had yet to leave hers.

Finally deciding to ignore the man she rushed forward to once more check the stitches. She wasn't surprised to find when Clarke kicked her, that many of the stitches tore.

More grounders, including Indra and Octavia entered to med bay with the mountain man. She wished she didn't have to help him, but she had taken an oath to heal all those that needed help. "Jackson you're up!"

Jackson who had been standing off to the side rushed to the man.

Abby ignored the throbbing of her nose as she worked once more to stitched close both wounds on her daughter's leg.

"Abby we have a problem over here!" Jackson called out.

"What," she asked as her fingers began to feel along her daughters scalp to try and find out how bad her head wound was.

"I can't treat him if I can't touch him."

Raven who had been leaning against the wall pushed off making her way over to Jackson. "I can rig up some scrubbers in an air lock. That way you can treat him and also keep in custody. Give me 20 minutes and I should have it up and running," she barely finished before she seemed to almost run from the room.

Abby finally found to wound but because of all the blood and hair she couldn't get a clear picture of the extent of it. She didn't want to do it but called for an electric razor that she always kept charged for when needed for situations such as this.

The item was quickly brought over and turned on before shaving away the skin on the left side of her head. Her stomach turned when she was finally able to get a good look at the wound after washing away the blood and hair. The wound was jagged and stretched from the top of her head and went down at sharp angles to almost her ear. In some areas it looked as though the skin had pushed under itself and the only bright side is the wound while large and painful looking was not as deep as she feared.

She knew that this was going to be a lengthy process and also painful. Her daughter would most likely wake again from the pain. Ordering another nurse to grab a sedative.

Octavia could only watch on in worry at the state of her friend. Could only watch as Doctor Griffin shaved away a large area of her hair to see the wound on her head. Could only watch as the doctor cut away small pieces of skin so that the stitches could be as even as possible. Could watch as even under a sedative gave a moan of pain when her shoulder was popped back into place.

"She will live, yes?" Indra asked.

"She should. Her heartbeat is still too fast but has lowered slightly. She lost a lot of blood and I would give her a transfusion if I knew that normal blood wouldn't kill her. Her head wound while it looked bad wasn't too severe and the bullet passed cleanly through the leg and barely grazed the bone. I was also able to easily put her arm back into place."

"Good. What about the killer?"

Abby finally looked up after whipping the stitches down once more before wrapping that area in gauze to hopefully keep the wound clean at the early start of the healing process. Though she wouldn't be surprised if the would was healed in a couple weeks with how quickly the healing process was for her daughter.

It looked as though besides a few of the grounders…Trikru warriors as she mentally corrected herself wanting to at least try think of them as their clan instead of a general term but anyways the entire med bay was practically empty. The mountain man having been taken away over an hour ago from what she can remember.

"He should live. He was given a transfusion of our blood, but I haven't been to see him yet. I can head to him now and see," Abby offered before going to clean off her hands from her daughters blood.

"Hopefully when he wakes he will tell us what he knows," she tells her over the spray of water as she meticulously scrubs her hands, trying to get all the blood off before moving onto the left over blood that still covers part of her face. Glad to see clean skin once more when finished.

"What if he doesn't talk?" Octavia asks. She fidgets a little when her _fos_ looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

"He'll talk we did just save his life."

"If he doesn't then what. I understand what you are saying but what if he doesn't. Even if you had saved me from death, I would still not tell you my secrets. So I repeat the question my second asked. What if he doesn't talk?"

Abby's eyes narrow at Indra. "You aren't torturing him."

"If you want him to talk then you must. I can get him to speak of what he knows."

"I'll say it again, Indra. We aren't going to torture him."

"Then you are weak. I see now why Clarke is in charge," her words are clipped.

"Clarke isn't in charge. I am the Chancellor!" Abby shouts back. Her eyes dark in her anger.

Indra scoffs. "You are in charge of nothing. Your yongon is the true leader. If not for her you would already be dust in the wind," while her voice was calm it was easy to see how angry Indra was at the woman.

Abby's face turned red before she took a deep breath and instead of responding left the med bay. Indra and Octavia following. Octavia was not looking forward to their training later. Anytime that Indra was angry then their lessons usually ended with her on her ass nine times out of ten.

 **-Time Skip-**

"Carl Emerson. Mount Weather Security Detail."

The statement was beginning to anger Indra even further from every utterance of that phrase.

"I don't think you are grasping the situation here. You should have died in the woods. We saved your life. Why not help us bring an end to all this?"

The mountain man's head dropped down and sighed heavily. A part of her hoped that he would say something else anything besides the same phrase that she had been hearing for over an hour. The man looked up once more.

"Carl Emerson. Mount Weather Security Detail."

Her anger seemed to almost triple in that moment.

"He is not going to talk," the woman Raven said. Her eyes were down as she took in the picture of both Clarke and the Commander.

"He will if we open to door."

* * *

 **-POV CHANGE-**

My head seemed to spin as I tried to open my eyes. The light of lamps burned as I quickly closed my eyes again. Tempted to let the current take me under again and into the blackness once more. Only to moan in pain when I moved my head slightly to get in a different position.

"Clarke?" The voice sounded hopeful but also worried at the same time.

It was a chore, but I finally opened my eyes again, taking in the surrounding med bay. Eyes stopping for a second at the two Trikru warriors that were positioned at the door before turning back to see that Raven was sitting on a chair next to me. She seemed to be fiddling with her necklace. Hands running over the wings as she stared at me, her face breaking out into a large smile when she realizes that I am actually coherent.

Her hand reaches out and gently grabs hold of mine. "I was so worried. I thought you were going to break your promise to me," her voice soft.

"I would never break such an important promise to you," my throat hurts from speaking for the first time in god knows how long.

"Now can you tell me what the hell happened? Last thing I remember is flying from my horse. You would think I would know how to crash," laughing at my really dumb joke I just made.

"No I am pretty sure I know more about crashing than you do," she jokes back.

I squeeze her hand tightly before siting up, ignoring how my different areas of my body hurt, including my head. The pain doubling for a second from the rush of blood. My hand reaches up to grab it only to pull back when I can feel gauze. "What the hell?"

"You took a real nasty fall off of the horse when you went down. You dislocated your left arm and cut open a large part of your head from hitting a large rock. Your mom stitched that up, as well as your leg. Well re-stitched your left after you kicked her and jumped off of the bed."

My eyes widen at her words, as I try to rack my brain but I can't remember waking up before now. "I did what?"

"Oh ya! You kicked your mom in the face as she was working on the last of your stitches for your leg when you woke up and kicked her. You didn't break her nose, but you did make her bleed a lot."

One thing I definitely can count on is how straight Raven tells it. "Well shit…I didn't mean to hurt her," something in my chest hurts at the thought.

"Where is she anyway?" I can't help but ask considering the only people in the med bay besides Raven and I is a couple of Trikru warriors whose eyes haven't left me since I woke.

"She is at the airlock where the mountain man is. She'll be upset to know that you woke up just after she left," her voice taking on a more serious tone.

At hearing the words mountain man, I remember that piece of shit and his buddy shot me. I should have remembered this. I don't understand how I didn't and can only blame it on the fact that it has been years since I ever thought of that piece of shit.

I shifted my legs over the side of the bed and pushed myself up. The weight on my left leg hurt and it almost gave out on me. Raven barely able to catch me. I ignored her for a second, as I tried once more to put weight on my leg. This time thankfully it held but still hurt like a bitch.

"I don't think you should be getting up so soon, Clarke."

"I'm fine. I've walked away from worse. You should go back to work. I'll be fine and after I see my mom I'll come by your workspace."

She narrows her eyes at me before finally releasing a sigh when she sees that I am being serious. "No I'll come with you. Make sure you don't fall and hurt yourself."

Each step burned but I ignored it, as Raven and I made our way to the airlock.

We made it there just in time for Kane to tell my mother. "He'll talk if we open the door."

Mind flashing back to the radiation burns he suffered the first time around, eyes taking in the left-over burn marks that look mostly healed. "Do it, Kane."

My voice is clear and almost dares the others to disobey me. Kane's hand moves toward to the button only to have his hand grabbed by my mom.

Abby turns back in surprise at my voice, taking in how I am slightly leaning on Raven. "You don't know what you're saying. We aren't going to do that. I already told Indra and now I am telling you. We aren't going to torture this man. You aren't thinking clearly."

"His partner shot me…he tried to end me. If the other hadn't been hit by the arrow and killed in time then he would not have missed. That bullet would have killed me. Trust me, I am thinking very clearly. He has the codes for the mountain. He can get us inside without having to blow the main doors, so trust me when I say that I am thinking very clearly" shifting my weight so I am standing without having to slightly lean on Raven. The pounding in my head increased for a second before lowering down once more to manageable level. Eyes training over to the where I recognize the tone generator.

"Just as I said before. You don't get to decide this. You may be why we have this alliance, but it doesn't mean you are charge of us all. You shouldn't even be out of med bay to begin with."

"I would have preferred we had finished our earlier discussion somewhere private I won't now. You can wear whatever pin you want mother, but it doesn't change the fact that I am the leader. I am the reason that any of you are alive. Without me we would have already been banished to the deserts," I tell her as I once more push off of Raven so that I can stand on my own two feet, though still keeping my weight on my right leg.

Abby's lip thin and eyes narrow, turning darker in her anger.

I stand taller in her challenge, feeling something primal rise up in my chest.

"I am the Chancellor here Clarke. You don't get to decide this. You maybe why we have this alliance but it doesn't mean you are in charge over everyone on the Ark. You are still just a child who is playing at leading. Go back to the med bay before I force you. You are on thin ice here Clarke," she seethed.

My own anger roared but I knew that she wasn't lying to me. I could see how close she was to giving the order to have me removed and most likely locked in my room or my old cell. Instead I took a deep breath and the slight red haze as well my own anger slowly bled away to a more manageable level.

Reaching out I grabbed to tone generator before grabbing Raven's arm and forcing us to leave.

The instant we turned to corner Kane began to speak once more to my mother but I could hear his tone. He was not happy with the way my mother was handling this any more than I was.

We don't say anything until the doors to Raven's work shop finally close behind us.

"Are you ok, Clarke?" her tone conveying how worried she seemed.

"No. I'm not ok. I'll be fine though. The main thing I want to discuss is this," and I finally pull the tone generator from my pocket.

"What is that?" her head tilting slightly.

I don't say anything and instead press the button that fires the little machine up. The sound only lasted for a second or two before becoming too painful for me and I turned it off. "It's a tone generator and I am hoping that you can make a couple of them. If you do then we won't have to worry about the reapers ruining any of our plans. It can also keep the group that will be using the tunnels safer."

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't know that you couldn't do it."

She holds her hand out for the device. Eyes going over every piece after I give it to her.

Fingers running over the different ridges as her eyes narrow. "I can do it. I just need to find the right frequency and then I can make as many as you need."

Going off the look in her eyes she say this as a challenge. Something for her to focus on. Part of me worried that she was working as much as she could so that she didn't have to focus on what happened. I was also worried that she still resented me for what I did.

I could still remember how much she resented me after I killed Finn especially the first time. The anger that I could see in her eyes anytime she looked my way. Or how she would tense up when she would see Lexa. How once she seemed to somewhat move on from what happened with Finn she had to face the challenges that came from her hip. How the universe in a way seemed to just dump on her.

"Raven?" my voice soft as I focused back in on her.

She stopped messing around with some parts to look up. "Yea Clarke?"

"I just wanted to ask how you are doing. I mean that I know that you must be going through a lot and if you want to talk about it then I'll be here to listen. I promised that you wouldn't be alone again and I don't plan on breaking it."

Her eyes seem to darken slightly and get a little glossy. Something in my chest clenched at that look. How she seemed close to breaking. After shaking her head slightly she smiled. It was small and barely visible but it was easy for me to see the slight quirk of her lips.

"I've been better but if I haven't been busy here then Octavia comes around. She gets me out of this room and make sure that I eat. She helps make things better, especially when Octavia tries to teach me how to fight. Says that the physical activity should make me feel a little more normal and that's one of the reasons that she loves to train so much. I mean besides the fact that it looks as though she was born to be on the ground. She takes to the grounders culture like I took to anything engineering."

She stops fiddling with the device and turns to look at me. Eyes taking in the different wounds I have on my body, my now partially shaved head before looking down at my leg. I still had on the same pants from before, the left leg torn off slightly above mid-thigh, showing off the white gauze that was wrapped tightly around the wounded area before looking back to my face.

"The better question, is how are You doing?"

I could feel as my face shut down to a passive expression, showing and giving away nothing. Her brows bunched up at the sudden shift in my mood.

My mind brought up the new memories that I had made with Lexa. Imagining her bright smile as she laughed after I tripped trying to pull my pants on and had fallen down taking a small table with me. Of how I felt to hold her in my arms at night as I slowly fell asleep, feeling safe and happy for the first time in so long. As I allowed myself to feel something besides the duty for my people. Allowing myself to be selfish for once.

Lips stretching into a large grin, surprising Raven slightly. "I haven't felt this good in years. Yes we are in for a difficult battle soon. A war that if we do not win will bring about the deaths of our people and many of those who live here on the ground. And I get to see many of those who I care deeply for here. I get to see you as both our people and the Trikru and other clans work together. Something that used to be so hard to envision."

I wanted to speak more but the door to the work room opened and in stormed Octavia. Her eyes lighting up slightly as she took me in.

"Oh my god, Clarke!" She screamed as she rushed forward to pull me into a hug. My body instinctively stiffening in her embrace, dark memories flashed across my eyes. Forcing myself to keep myself from slamming my head forward into hers. Instead I allowed myself to relax into her warm embrace and enjoy having her arms around me.

She pushed me back and reached up to my face to turn it to get a good look at the side of my head. No gauze obstructed the view and allowed Octavia to see the jagged wound that covered much of my head. Her hand reaching up and lightly tracing her fingertips across the stitches. Whistling when she pulled away.

"How's the head feel? Looks pretty bad."

I had forgotten how caring she was, but her question also brought forth some of the pain I was trying to block. My own hearts beat could be felt in my eyes with every pump.

"It hurts little but it doesn't feel like I have a concussion so that's good. Those always make it so hard to think or focus. The only good thing is that the gun shot wound on my leg seems to be feeling better but I still can't put to much weight on it until it heals a little but more," my hand moving to run over the gauze on my leg. Taking a small note of how it looked as though it bled a little bit.

"Well I'm happy that you weren't hurt worse…or even killed," her voice sounding almost small.

I punched her on the shoulder. "It would take a lot more than bullet to kill me," words and body language oozing confidence.

Raven laughed at that. "It'll be your stubbornness," she told me cheekily.

"Also did you know that many of the Trikru are calling you Skai Heda now?"

My world seems to stop slightly at that for I had never been called by that name before. It was always Wanheda. Part of me preened at hearing that.

"Actually I haven't," it's obvious to all that I was extremely satisfied with that bit of news.

"Anyways, I wanted to know if we have heard anything from Bellamy yet? It's been almost a week. I figured we would have heard from him by now and Lincoln hasn't come back either."

"He hasn't reported in yet," Raven tells her. Octavia's smile falls from her face.

"Don't worry. He will and when he does get in contact then our plans can move forward," I tell her with a smile.

Raven opens her mouth to say something else when my name is called over the intercom. That I need to return to the med bay because the Chancellor wants to see me. At those words the anger that had faded away surged to life once more.

"Fucking great…well it seems I am being called. I'll return in a bit," I promise as I limp my way out of the room.

The wound on my leg makes me limp a litter harder than I would have liked but it was better than being dead or even shot in the stomach, like the warrior was during the original timeline.

I had just turned the corner when Octavia seemed to almost appear beside me, looking pleased until she noticed that I wasn't surprised. She opens her mouth some, but I beat her to the punch. "You still walk a little bit to heavy but you're close."

Her teeth click together from the force of her closing her mouth and her neck turns slightly red. She doesn't say much else besides letting me know that she was coming with me just to make sure I don't hurt myself or others.

When I enter the med bay it is to my mother walking back and forth across the floor. Her eyes that are downcast and worried shoot up to me.

"Clarke I got the blood work back and I though you should know what we found. In Emmerson's blood we found genetic indications that can only be found from someone on the Ark. This was discovered from the blood we took from him before we injected our own into him later to help save him.

"Then you know. You know that they have started and that if we don't hurry then not only will my friends and people die but they will able to leave. They will be able to leave that mountain and spread like a sickness across this land in their quest to survive. Right now by you not letting us interigate him is helping them. The more time we give them the less we have," I hiss at her.

She looks taken back from both my words and my tone.

I don't even take the time to listen if she has anything further to say and turn and leave. Knowing if I stayed any longer I would end up back in solitary or under armed guards.

I don't speak anything to Octavia as we leave. I don't say anything until we have at least gone down a full hallway and turned once more.

"She values their lives to much. It will end up costing us if she doesn't change soon," I mutter to Octavia.

Instead of responding, Octavia just nods her head in agreement.

In a stroke of strange luck the instant the door opens to Raven's work shop, Bellamy's voice cracks over the radio.

"Camp Jaha, this is Mount Weather. Does anyone read me?"

I rush forward and take the radio from Raven, who seems only too happy to hand it off.

"I can't begin to tell you how good it is to hear your voice right now. How are our people doing? Have you been able to speak to any of them?"

The radio is quiet for a second.

"Things aren't looking to good here. Something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone is locked in the dorm."

"Shit. Are they all still alive?"

"For now at least."

"Maya says they're already using their blood. Things will get ugly in here real fast."

"Maya's with you?" I had forgotten about her. The times I had ever thought of her in the past was because of drastic Jasper has changed after her death.

'Yes. If not for her, I'd be dead. And Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn't kill everyone. Please tell me you have one," even over a radio I could hear the desperation he felt.

My hand tightened, the plastic creaking from my tight hold. The thought of killing children turned my stomach and while I would gladly kill everyone in the mountain again, I knew that their deaths would be the one's that would haunt me. I could care less for the adults. For the ones who took the blood.

"I hear you. But we can't do anything until you disable to acid fog. Raven's going to help you."

"Got is. What else?"

"I need you to find the strongest warriors. Only use those who can actually stand and haven't had more blood taken more than a few times. We will need them. They will protect the others who are to weak once everything begins to move."

"I need you to buy me time. They'll soon realize I don't belong here."

"Bellamy, if you take down the acid fog then we won't need to buy time. The army is already here. You just need to bring it down so we can storm the mountain. Just keep staying alive."

"I will try and get it down as soon as possible. Bellamy over and out," the static of the radio lasts for only a few more seconds before I turn and walk away.

"What are we going to do?" Raven asks after me. I stop at the door before turning and looking at her.

"We have the largest army ever gathered in history since the bombings. I am going to keep them looking out instead of in," then I turn and leave.

Octavia is matching me stride for stride. "Where's Indra?"

"In the yard training with the warriors. She allowed me to come see you once we heard you were finally up and moving around."

-TIME SKIP-

As Octavia said, Indra was training the other warriors. When we had made it outside it was to her flipping a warrior over her back.

She stops once she sees me standing next to Octavia.

"Shai Heda," she greets with a slight bow of her head. Many of the other warriors following her example.

"Bring some of your warriors. I want the Mountain Man."

Then I turning and leaving. Not even giving her time to respond. My own blood lust slowly rearing its head at what I planned to do next.

She grabs four of the largest warriors and follows. Not asking questions and just following my lead though I can tell she is curious.

"Where is my bow?"

Surprisingly it wasn't Indra who responded but another. This one while tall wasn't very large but instead looked slim, as though he trained himself to be fast instead of beating down an enemy. He looked strangely familiar and I knew his name started with an A but couldn't remember what.

"It was kept with your saddle bags. We erected a tent for you and placed all your belongings there, Skai Heda," his tone respectful.

"Well I need it. We will meet you outside momentarily."

The man doesn't even wait for Indra to give him the order before he is already off running down the halls we just came from.

The guard tries to stop us when my large group stopped at the air lock doors.

"Clarke, you need…"

I cut him off. "Don't."

Moving past the guard, I stop at the air lock door and stare at the man whose mere presence makes me sick.

"Get dressed. You're coming with me," my words as sharp as my own knives.

The man was quick to get his suit back on before two warriors entered and grabbed him. The man wincing slightly from the grip.

The two warriors basically drag the man as leave the downed ship, only stopping once my mother makes her way in front of the group. Six guards at her back, all with their weapons slightly raised.

"Clarke stop. What are you doing?"

I tilt my head slightly. "I'm letting the prisoner go. What do you think I'm doing?"

"I think you are disobeying an order from your Chancellor. You aren't letting him go. Guards take this man back to his cell."

The group behind Abby takes a step forward, only to be stopped when as one all of the warriors pull out their weapons. My own sword quickly following as I hold it down at my side. Glad that I had gotten all my weapons back on my person before going to Indra, though I do wish I had gotten a new pair of pants.

"You may be the chancellor but I'm in charge!" I snarl at her. More than tired of this argument.

She ignores me. "Indra tell your people to stand down before this gets out of hand."

Indra laughs at my mother's words. "As I have stated before. Your title means nothing to me."

At her words I remember Octavia telling me of their fight. A part of me greatly wishes I had asked for more details.

My mom turns back to me once more. "Clarke, please. You have to trust that I know what's right for us."

I lift my sword up and many of the guards guns now move to me. "You don't know what's right for us. You think you do but you don't. You have never in your life handled anything that relates to war. Unlike you, I have. I have fought and won battles. I have killed to keep my people safe unlike you. You just think you know what's best and these thoughts will lead to us being killed. From now on when it comes to anything with this war, I am in charge. Not you. If you disagree with me, then that works to. Just remember that I have the Trikru and their alliance with the other clans on my side, while our people only have each other."

My mother's face goes through many different emotions from anger, sadness, fear before finally landing on acceptance.

"Fine," she hisses at me before finally moving to the side, ordering the guards to stand down.

"Open the gate!" I order the men who are quick to follow.

Once we stop the warriors finally let go of Emmerson who just stares darkly at me.

My own smile turns sharp and promises death.

"I have a message for your leaders. We are coming for them. You haven't seen the full might of the Commander's army. You will though that I promise. Well if you make it back. Hopefully you do as it would make things simpler. I want to tell them to let all our people go. If you do this, then we won't come for you."

I take a step forward and the only thing that stops him from taking a step back is the two Trikru that stand behind him.

"Now I know it takes 8 hours to return to Mount Weather. You my friend? You are going to do it in 6," I tell him as I grab hold of the gauge and allow the needed air to escape.

Then I lean closer to his ear, making sure that he is the only one to hear me.

"I have another challenge for you as well. I have been working on my archery for awhile and finally have a good bow. You my friend are going to run away while I shoot at you. Of course if you make it to the edge of the clearing and beyond then you win."

His eyes widen in fear at my words. "You're crazy!" Carl yells at me.

He takes a step back and then sprints for it.

Holding my hand out I ask for my bow.

The man from before is quick to answer. Handing both my bow along with the quiver, which I quickly throw over my shoulder. Ignoring how tight it still feels as I quickly reach and grab an arrow.

After notching, I pull back before taking a second to aim and then releasing.

My mother begins to scream at me as I watch the arrow go, losing it quickly in the slight darkness of the morning. Finding it once more when Emmerson makes a hard left when the arrow lands in front of him. This time instead of running straight he begins to straif.

I notch another and let it fly, making sure to adjust slightly so that this time it will land to his left. It hits it mark and he goes right.

This time is he is to close to the edge so I stop playing around as I let this last arrow fly. In the five minutes it has taken for him to almost cross the clearing the sun has risen enough that when I release I can follow.

The arrow arches high into the sky and finally crests before falling down. Gaining more speed as it descends. The arrow slams into the upper middle of his back, right at he reaches the end of the clearing.

" _Jus drien, jus daun.,"_ Indra spoke.

" _Just drien, jus daun,"_ I respond back. A dark heavy weight I had been feeling since I had seen him once more lifted. I knew that the souls of those that have been killed from his actions could now rest in peace.


End file.
